Philly Blunt

2010-03-25T19:16:00.001-04:00

I wonder whether Philly's going to start charging a Flash Mob tax.

The Final Post Here

2010-01-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Hey all. Hope the last decade treated you well. Mine was kind of up and down, naw'mean?
In any event, this mass email will have to suffice as a personalized touch. For that, I'm sorry. But not as sorry as I would have been had I needed to type, oh, hundreds of separate emails to make what, in the grand scheme of things, are simple points. To wit:

-- I have a new website. It's brianphickey.com.
-- Yes, the P stands for Pimp. Because I'm pimp.
-- Fine, it's Patrick. You just had to destroy my dreams, didn't you?
-- My new email address is hickey at brianphickey [dot] com.
-- Yes, hotmail is still piped into my BlackBerry, but I'd rather just centralize all my online dealings to the site.
-- Because the site is named after me, and I think that's pretty cool -- even if I did the naming.
-- So, in review, please go to my new site, use my new email. Heck, while you're there, why not register at brianphickey.com? All the cool kids do.
-- The Saints will beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. Bet.

Sincerely,
Brian P. Hickey

New site

2010-01-06T15:00:00.002-05:00

Go check this out. All the cool kids do.

-- 30 --

Back in the USoA

2010-01-03T08:08:00.000-05:00

Hey all, hope your Christmases were merry and your New Year's Eve, good. We're back from our trip, but I'm still loopy-headed from all the travel and whatnot. Will start posting tomorrow, but the site will be shifting from here to brianphickey.com. So, bookmark it and start going there, if you'd be so kind as the only thing that'll appear on this page henceforth is something to the extent of, "Online me moved. Go here."
All the best in '10.

Announcement

2009-12-21T19:32:00.003-05:00

Veredicto Final recaps soon join the Divorce Court blog. On now: Priest/exorcist instead falls in love with a stripper and a family argument about either moving out or illicit relations, rudimentary Spanish tells me.

Why USAir is the dregs of the earth

2009-12-21T11:31:00.004-05:00

Fellow passengers/friends on our cancelled flight to Rome sum it up perfectly:

And, an addendum to said TV segment:

Rather than ranting about it, I’d just like to share with y’all the chronological specifics of what happened before, during and after me and my pregnant wife’s flight to Rome was cancelled for a wee-bit of snow.

This is a fitting end-post to a fucked-up decade.

Ok, I mean it this time ...

2009-12-14T10:02:00.001-05:00

It, being this.

Untitled II, 13 December 09

2009-12-13T20:12:00.002-05:00

Untitled, 12 Dec 09

2009-12-13T10:27:00.001-05:00

2009-12-12T12:05:00.001-05:00

The Hickey Endorsement: Better Off Ted is a damn funny show.

The Inquirer also apologizes for saying Pol Pot won the Nobel Peace Prize, and Sarah Palin won a Pulitzer

2009-12-12T11:33:00.003-05:00

Corrections. Getcha front-page corrections heeeeere:

This is one sentence

2009-12-11T21:39:00.001-05:00

One I met in SOBE years ago who I took back to my hotel room that I was sharing with Papa Kade because we were down for “Biz”, but it was so awkward that we went back to her suite and we “Played” out in the living room while her girlfriend was miserable in the bedroom, and when I offered for the other one to join, she said, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that”, and I replied, “Trust me, after this he will be happy with what you’ve learned”, but she didn’t go for the bait and I almost missed my flight the next morning home until Papa Kade called me at 6AM).

Two thousand more, in conclusion.

2009-12-10T20:26:00.003-05:00

"Oh fucking c*nt," is what I screamed when this came on 2 minutes after I wrote this ...
"I never understood the psychic shift that leads to cutting oneself. Until I saw the Hollywood Christmas Parade."

Four-thousand words

2009-12-10T19:45:00.006-05:00

Gone till '010 -- and will return with a new site

2009-12-09T14:32:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.
Et cetera.
I'll be taking a little bit of a respite from the Life Online (aside from periodic Divorce Court and otherwise too-important to miss Life Tidbits).
When I get back, I'll be migrating all the blogging and whatnot over on BrianPHickey.com, so bookmark it now for that's where all the action'll be.

In the meantime, enjoy this video ...

This week's Metro column... UPDATED

2009-12-08T09:19:00.003-05:00

... is about this ...

... and this ...

Comes out on the 'morrow. Check it.

UPDATE: Here 'tis.

I'm off to the A.I. show ...

2009-12-07T16:40:00.002-05:00

... but today wouldn't be complete without sharing a photo of the Best Catch in Football History. Ta-da ...

Correcting the record

2009-12-07T13:13:00.002-05:00

From the Washington Post, via Rick "Hawkeyed" V ...

correction
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.

Get up. Ah get get down. Late 911 wears the late crown.

Weekend Reading Roundup (Eh, Whatever Edition)

2009-12-07T08:48:00.007-05:00

You know that when a story about Wendy Williams in a fashion insert mag is probably the most interesting thing you've read over the weekend, it wasn't a good journalistic weekend. That's not to say there aren't OK stories out there, because there are, like those about the animated Mr. and Mrs. Woods car chase, the blow-by-blow of the Afghan war room, the state of Dutch liberalism and a tale about Sarah Palin that includes the paragraph ...

Palin’s discomfort is easy to understand. Race is often the subtext of populist campaigns; their most potent appeal is to whites who are feeling under siege by changing economic and cultural conditions. Palin’s strength with this constituency can only have grown since the last election. It’s the reason that her bus tour is passing through the small cities and towns (Fort Wayne, Indiana; Washington, Pennsylvania) where the 2008 election might have been won.

But since the reading fare was so light, here are some Saturday photos to startcha week up right.

'Ish: (1) 3 p.m. Snow begins to fall in the 215. (2) 9:15 p.m. Jon and the Ukulele Orchestra stage-strum at the North Star. Bobby G.'s life-time ban lifted to permit his one-night viewing and listening pleasure. (3) Wee hours. Brad tends to defaced mirror at work in Ridgemont.

What to do this weekend

2009-12-04T12:14:00.002-05:00

Well, if you're me, you're going to the North Star tomorrow night to check out the Ukulele Orchestra (not the ones in the video; they don't even have a website, that's how f'in cool they are). Small stage, lotta ukes, good times to be had by all. Eight bucks. Not bad. Not bad at all.

World Cup draw (U.S. opens vs England, Slovenia and Algeria in group. Not bad at all.)

2009-12-04T12:05:00.023-05:00

Even though Ireland got totally, wholly screwed by those soulless cheating French, here you go with the tourney layout. US group looks promising; Brazil's group looks most entertaining:

Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France.

Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, Korean Republic (South), Greece.

Group C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia.

Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana.

Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon.

Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia.

Group G: Brazil, Korea DPR (North), Ivory Coast, Portugal.

Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile.

24 random thoughts during the last hour and a half of the Jersey Shore premiere

2009-12-04T10:03:00.013-05:00

1. Ironic that these chicks in the house are calling the other chicks who came up from the Boardwalk "whore bags" in a black-pot-and-kettle sense. Especially since they base their non-whorebagishness on the fact that they've lived in the house two days and haven't acceded to a gangbang yet.

2. "The Situation" is a great friggin' guido nickname. "Don't bring dirty girls back" is a great friggin' guidette-roommate slogan. "This is the Jersey shore. What do you expect us to do, play with each other the whole time?" is a great friggin' gueed retort.

3. White trash comes in all shapes, sizes and hair styles. Case in point: Pauly D.

4. I need to make it perfectly clear that very few of these dirtbags and dirtbagettes are actually from Jersey. This is an important point to me.

5. First, Mussolini gave Italians a bad name. But, Mussolini didn't have shit on these "people." I can only imagine the Seaside Heights tourism bureau will hold them in the same esteem that Germany's tourism bureau felt about some dead guy named Adolf in, say, 1946.

6. "Snooki," the one who stripped down to skivvies, hammered to the lovehandles, the first weekend, is kind of hot, in a very weird way. The rest of them are dime-a-dozen Wildwood-quality jaundice-souled silicone-breastuses-hanging-out skanks (pictured). That includes "I'm a bartender. I do great things" Angelina and whichever one "JWOWW" is.

7. If I'm not mistaken, the answer to Pauly D's "Who has a T-shirt on the Boardwalk in the rain?" answer is "Every last person in the summer, you m'f'ing moron."

8. POSITIVE NOTE: The house itself is exactly as I picture the old-school shore houses, before the soulless rich folks came in and knocked them all down, forsaking positive vibes for profit.

9. I wonder what kind of "protein" "The Situation" has in his diet.

10. If I don't get an "I can kick your baby's ass" T-shirt for Christmas, Santa is dead-to-me. I already have an "I Bleed Jersey" one on the inside.

11. "Everybody loves me. Babies. Dogs. You know, hot girls. Cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal," says The Situation. I don't question the veracity of that statement.

12. I think Arthur Kade would blow The Situation. I meant that capitalized. Physically blow him. Sorry if that crosses the line. But, so does this show. And so does Kade.

13. One of the sluts just said her ideal man is a "Juicehead." If THAT doesn't sum it all up, I don't know what does.

14. I would recommend anybody who even said the word "Seaside" this summer get checked for syphilis.

15. SEMINAL MOMENT: It took one hour and 21 minutes for one of the juicefreak paisans to say, "the party's in Pauly D's pants tonight." It took an additional two seconds for this to happen:

16. It took two minutes for me to start feeling a lot better about the partying I did when I lived down in Sea Isle year-round. A LOT better.

17. Pink eye broke out the first weekend. To be followed by crabs, non-gonococcal urethritis, herpes, syphilis and bacterial vaginosis. I thought these things only happened in Baltimore.

18. I don't know what to make of this Ronnie guy. He seems, I don't know, like a not-entirely-bad-and-delusional-and-roidy guy. I'll get back to you about this issue.

19. Fist-pumping brawl at the bar? Check. Someone telling one of the chicks "to lose 5 or 10 pounds and we can talk"? Double check.

20. Oh, now I know which one JWOWW is: The one who flaunts the mammoth juggz every second of every day and leaves the bar early so she can eat ham. Good people. On-the-pole people.

21. "Don't let the spiked hair fool you. I'm not a bitch," says Pauly D. Oh Pauly D, you so cray-zee.

22. I shudder to think what the end result of a 24/7 camera around the Princeton in the summer of '98 would have been. I mean, I know what some episodes would entail. Fuzzy memories. But would America latch on to the "No cover here girls," declaration coming from an apartment window across the street from a Sea Isle bar? Yes, America would. No cover here, girls.

23. "If a girl's a slut, she should be abused," says abuse-fetishist slut Angelina.

24. It's totally awesome that a two-day hook-up relationship can leave someone who calls himself The Situation shattered.

Pat O'Brien back on TV!!!!!!!

2009-12-04T09:39:00.004-05:00

Ok, fine, it was just for a day. On Extra, A.C. Slater's show, but seeing an apparently de-coked P.O'B. is the only thing that could take that sulfur taste out of my mouth from watching Jersey Shore. I took a picture of him for you ...

... and transcribed the conversation as well. It was about Tiger Woods who, I can only hope, was trying to line up a waitress for him and Betsy to get some hookers, get some coke and go f'in crazy with ...

POB: Well it's crazy. I guess they're finding out now what happens in Vegas does NOT stay in Vegas. Oops.
He'll lose no endorsements. He'll repair his image but it'll be a lot harder than winning the Masters, I'll tell you that.
Tiger's image has been nuked.
ACS Voice-Over: TV personality Pat O'Brien knows what it takes for Tiger to bounce back.
POB: Everybody bounces back. When you're walking through hell, you got to keep walking. Winning helps, a lot. There's a human part to this, too. The biggest problem he's got is his family. (He has) to man up to his family and put that back together and I hope he does that.

(Thank you, thank you, thank you, Tina, for sending the instant "Alert! Alert! POB on Extra" text last night!)

To answer your four questions...

2009-12-04T08:56:00.009-05:00

1. Yes, I've delved into the pit that's aka MTV's "Jersey Shore" last night.

2. Yes, I will be blogging about episodes once I can wrap my frigging head around what I'm watching.

3. Yes, I'm as insulted as those Dago Pride groups that made a stink before whatever her name is could climb into a hot tub and grind up on every gueed in sight. But for different reasons than woe is Italiano-ism. I worry about a bum rap landing upon the Jersey Shore where Charlie Dawg spent her formative years, 91st Street in Sea Isle

(No, those aren't her cases of Corona, neither, though, after seeing the Seaside debacle, I'd be shocked if pets don't drink). Well, technically Townsend's Inlet, but I don't want to get all "I know a fuckload more about the shore than you do, shoobies."
At least not yet.

4. And finally yes, even Chico Resch is ashamed.

If you have a DVR

2009-12-03T19:15:00.002-05:00

I'd set it for the 4 a.m. Extra on NBC.
Topic: What Tiger Woods should do to repair his image.
Keynote Speaker: This guy.

A sad day for Bobby G...

2009-12-03T12:53:00.004-05:00

... for his hero will reside in prison in perpetuity.

Richard Casey, 50, who became known as "the foot fetish bandit," was sentenced to serve a minimum of 57 years by Common Pleas Court Judge Joan A. Brown.
Two of Casey's victims were in the courtroom when Brown said she was going to give him a sentence that "will insure that he will no longer be a danger to society."

And now, something kinda safe for work (don't blame me; blame Youtube) ...

The Fightin' 42nd (and Atlantis Mayor Snuffleupagus) finally gets its due!

2009-12-03T09:07:00.001-05:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

U.S. Speedskating

(Gets good around 2:30 in.)

Welcome home, Allen

2009-12-02T12:35:00.002-05:00

I have missed you.

Transcript for Allen Iverson's "Practice" Press Conference
00:01 → 00:08 If Coach tells you that I missed practice, then that's that.

00:08 → 00:13 I may have missed one practice this year

00:13 → 00:21 but if somebody says he missed one practice of all the practices this year,

00:21 → 00:23 then that's enough to get a whole lot started.

00:23 → 00:24 (Clip Jumps)

00:24 → 00:27 But I'm tired and I'm hurt too.

00:27 → 00:32 Reporter: "Could you clear about your practicing habits since we can't see you practice?"

00:32 → 00:38 If I can't practice, I can't practice.

00:38 → 00:41 It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all.

00:41 → 00:47 It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice.

00:47 → 00:50 We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player,

00:50 → 00:52 and we're talking about practice.

00:52 → 00:57 I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game,

00:57 → 01:01 not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice.

01:01 → 01:07 Not the game that I go out there and die for

01:07 → 01:10 and play every game like it's my last

01:10 → 01:13 but we're talking about practice man.

01:13 → 01:15 How silly is that?

01:15 → 01:20 Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that

01:20 → 01:25 but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything.

01:25 → 01:28 I know it's important, I honestly do

01:28 → 01:30 but we're talking about practice.

01:32 → 01:35 We're talking about practice man.

01:35 → 01:38 (laughter from the media crowd)

01:38 → 01:40 We're talking about practice.

01:40 → 01:42 We're talking about practice.

01:42 → 01:44 We're not talking about the game.

01:44 → 01:46 We're talking about practice.

01:46 → 01:49 When you come to the arena, and you see me play,

01:49 → 01:51 you've seen me play right,

01:51 → 01:53 you've seen me give everything I've got,

01:53 → 01:56 but we're talking about practice right now.

01:56 → 01:58 We're talking about prac... (stops talking)

01:58 → 02:00 (more laughter)

02:00 → 02:04 Hey I hear you, it's funny to me to, hey it's strange to me too

02:04 → 02:07 but we're talking about practice man,

02:07 → 02:11 we're not even talking about the game, when it actually matters,

02:11 → 02:16 we're talking about practice.

02:16 → 02:20 Reporter: "Is it possible that if you practiced, not you but you would make your teammates better?"

02:20 → 02:22 Iverson: "How in the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?

This Week's Metro Column

2009-12-02T12:13:00.002-05:00

So, a couple weeks back, I wrote about how the trial of cop-killer John Lewis' trial would be a seminal moment in establishing new D.A. Seth Williams' rep in the cap-punishment world. Well, then, Lewis pleaded guilty. And, the outgoing D.A. Lynn Abraham still pursued the death penalty.
Sitting in that room when the jury sentenced him to death, though, altered my thinking not on the death penalty itself -- I'm for it. Obviously. -- but whether this case -- which I harped about for years as being prime for a death-squad -- was the proper use in the long run.

With that, Lynne Abraham’s final Pennsylvania death-row cell was filled by John “Jordan” Lewis, who’d accepted responsibility for being evil incarnate one very tragic 2007 day when he stole Officer Chuck Cassidy’s life. But what exactly was served last week: Justice or vengeance?

Read it here and let me know what you think.

Oh, Huck

2009-12-01T18:19:00.002-05:00

Here's why the guy who got hit by an automobile sides with cars in their battle vs bicycles

2009-12-01T09:22:00.008-05:00

Pedestrian: Get the hell off the sidewalk, bicyclist.

Bicyclist: It's not safe in the street. Cars don't treat bicycles with traffic-law respect.

Pedestrian: That doesn't give you the right to swerve among people who also took the green-friendly approach of walking rather than burning oil to drive. Bikes and cars go in the street; pedestrians go on the sidewalk. Never the twain should meet.

Bicyclist: Fuck you and the toes you rode in on. Get it? I made a funny! We own the streets and sidewalks and everywhere else. Maybe you should just get a bike rather than investing in new sneakers once a year. I'll ride on the sidewalk all I want, and try to fashion it as an anti-car message when all it is is a means to prove I haven't ethically and morally developed beyond a 10-year-old.

Pedestrian: I wish they had training wheels that taught both respect and proper soap-application techniques.

Translation: Bicyclists put their own safety before that of pedestrians and then pretend they're fighting for the common man. Their sense of holier-than-thou entitlement is astounding and ass-backward. You can't play "good for the environment" if you're bad for a pedestrians' environment and peace of mind. The last time I saw a car drive on a sidewalk was Jake and Elwood Blues' ride.
Ergo, even though I hate cars and the hell they can rain down upon lives, I hate bike pedalers that don't stay in the street, where they belong, even more.
And now, for your entertainment...

Philly Blunt's 2009 People of the Year

2009-11-30T17:48:00.002-05:00

Now, when you saw that headline, you probably figured, "Hickey'll vote for people involved in saving his life and getting him back in working shape." Right? Right.
Well, you were wrong. Wrong.
For, the 2009 People of the Year come to us from A.E. Wright Middle School in Calabasas, Calif. No, I don't know their names, but two of the winners are 12, and the other 13. I'll let the Associated Press take it from here...

LOS ANGELES — Three boys were booked on suspicion of bullying or kicking red-haired students at a middle school when a "Kick a Ginger Day" prank inspired by a "South Park" episode got out of hand, authorities said Monday.

It is their SouthParkian initiative that landed these childs atop the yearly rankings, but not the tangible impact of Ginger Bashing.

No serious injuries were reported. Most incidents involved a single person kicking a student's shoe or leg, but one youngster was bruised when three or four boys confronted him at once, said Donald Zimring, superintendent of the Las Virgenes Unified School District.
He may have been kicked in the groin or head while on the ground, although accounts differ, Zimring said.
"Any time a youngster gets hurt because of a thoughtless act ... there ought to be consequences," Zimring said.

Here here, Donald Zimring, for the consequences are coast-to-coast recognition. I toast you, boys, for keeping it real.

ESPN's latest on Woods

2009-11-29T18:05:00.001-05:00

(Holiday) Weekend Reading Roundup (Part Two Edition)

2009-11-29T15:08:00.004-05:00

And I quote ...

SOUTHFIELD, Mich. -- ... “This state needs jobs, and we think medical marijuana can stimulate the state economy with hundreds of jobs and millions of dollars,” said Nick Tennant, the 24-year-old founder of the college, which is actually a burgeoning business (no baccalaureates here) operating from a few bare-bones rooms in a Detroit suburb.

“Removing the Al Qaeda leader from the battlefield eight years ago would not have eliminated the worldwide extremist threat,” the committee’s report concludes. “But the decisions that opened the door for his escape to Pakistan allowed bin Laden to emerge as a potent symbolic figure who continues to attract a steady flow of money and inspire fanatics worldwide.”

“I’m human and I’m not perfect,” he said in a statement on tigerwoods.com, his Web site, before adding: “It’s a private matter and I want to keep it that way.” He also said that “malicious” rumors about him and his family were irresponsible.

2009-11-28T19:45:00.001-05:00

"The accident came two days after the National Enquirer published a story alleging that Woods had been seeing a New York nightclub hostess, and that they recently were together in Melbourne, where Woods competed in the Australian Masters." (AP)

RIP, Al Alberts

2009-11-28T14:42:00.000-05:00

(Holiday) Weekend Reading Roundup (Part One Edition)

2009-11-28T12:40:00.009-05:00

Sure, no gnus is good gnus, but some gnus is entertaining gnus, no? I think so. So, here's a few things me read this weekend.
Like, how Irish Catholic bishops in the homeland covered up kid diddlin'.

Or how aliens are mutilating calves somewhere near Southpark, Colo.

Or how Sen. Bob Casey (whom I've met, and personally like) is trying to toe a fine abortion line.

Or how Q&A "Ask Amy" column appeared in the Inquirer's Black Friday edition ...

Dear Amy: I recently attended a frat party, got drunk and made some bad decisions. I let a guy take me to "his" room because he promised that he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with.
Many times, I clearly said I didn't want to have sex, and he promised to my face that he wouldn't. Then he quickly proceeded to go against what he "promised." I was shocked, and maybe being intoxicated made my reaction time a bit slow in realizing what was happening.
We were soon kicked out of the room by the guy who lived there.
If I wasn't kicking and fighting him off, is it still rape? I feel like calling it that is a bit extreme, but I haven't felt the same since.
- Victim? in Virginia

Or how Upper Darby slammed a gypsy-looking hit-and-run piglet who left three young lives hanging in the balance with a $1 million bail.

And how former NY Giant Mark Ingram could have been Ashland, Kentucky cellies with T. Milton Street Sr. or Vinnie "Unrepentant Thieving Ladyboy" Fumo ... if only he'd reported to serve time.

(Oh, btw, that pic up top is from this week's Sports Illustrated. It's of IHBA driver Quinten Kight post-eliminator-class-boat crash at Firebird Intl. Raceway in Chandler, Ariz. Credit in the mag goes to Jon Lemoine of US Presswire.)

So, um, yeah, this is from the Philly Turkey Day Parade

2009-11-26T10:48:00.001-05:00

This week's Metro column...

2009-11-25T14:06:00.000-05:00

... can be found here. TTYM.

The Angelo Lutz Cooking Show!

2009-11-25T13:32:00.002-05:00

I'd like to say I saw this coming when I went to Angelo's Going Away To Prison Party down on Shunk Street way back in my Philly Weekly staff writin' days. But I didn't. So let's just pretend.
Attaguy, Angelo. And attasite, Philly.com.

While you were home...

2009-11-25T12:00:00.006-05:00

...watching the Mormons rig a celebrity-dance-off show, I was here ...

... watching the hippies of Philadelphia and beyond lose their freakin minds, man, from three rows behind Phish. Just like old times, but without the hazy, cloudy hangover. Man.

Weekend Reading Roundup (No Photo Till the End/Cusp of Online Respite Edition)

2009-11-22T12:54:00.009-05:00

Considering that this is the last post I plan till the post-Turkey-Day week (I may throw some factoids up via text bloggering, or throw a couple Divorce Court posts up, though) it figures that the stack of newsprint is about half as tall as my BlackBerry. Does that make sense? Not in the least. But not much does these days. Which leads me into ...
This, which encapsulates Sarah Palin.

Even by the standard of politicians, this is a woman with an outsized ego. Combine that with her performance skills and an insatiable hunger for the limelight, and you can see why she will not stay in Wasilla now that she’s seen 30 Rock.

And this, which just made me go into DVResearch mode to determine whether I'd be adding another show to my -- exaggeration in 5, 4, 3, 2... -- wildly popular Divorce Court presence.

Judge Mazz, as he is known on the air, has been settling small-claims cases weekdays at 1 p.m. since Sept. 21, not in the traditional — stale? — studio courtroom, but at the very scene of the dispute — next to the car that won’t start on a rainy Bronx street, in a cramped Queens basement where someone failed to fix a furnace, on a chilly Upper East Side sidewalk where a Weimaraner is accused of attacking a Chihuahua.

And this, which is why I'm as amped to go to the movies as I've been since the Empire Strikes Back with my mom at the Moorestown Mall...

"One of the things that attracted me to this story is that there is nowhere to hide," says Mortensen of the film based on Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize winner - a novel about a father and his young son wandering a devastated, ash-dusted America. "Not that doing research is hiding, necessarily, but The Road is very bare-bones. You know, people say, what happened? Was it a war? Was it an environmental catastrophe? Climate change?
"And in a sense it doesn't matter, because it's a device, it's a means to exaggerate a concern that everyone can understand. . . . And that's inherently dramatic, but it's also, as an actor, a big challenge. There are no tricks. You either have to believe that these people are father and son, that they love each other, that they really are going through some difficult things, or you don't. And you have to believe their harrowing emotional journey."

And this, which has me playing "Where Have I Seen That Before"...

"We always have to be careful about coming up the Delaware because the depth is only 40 feet," said Maersk vice president William Duggan Jr. "Having the ability to load more cargo would be a major benefit. It allows more commerce to come into the terminal in Philadelphia."

And this, which has me playing the "Where Have I Seen That Before" home edition...

And there was Terry Oleson, 37, a handyman from Salem County. Oleson came under scrutiny after his arrest on unrelated charges but never was implicated in the killings, said James Leonard, his attorney. Oleson would like investigators to clear his name.

And this, in which Philadelphia's mayor gets rightfully excoriated...

We elected a mayor who, given the strictures of the Democratic machine, may well get a second term.
For those of us who live here and get once-a-week garbage collection in return for the wage tax, the business-privilege tax, the net-profits tax, the franchise tax, the increased sales tax, and a million other tax gnats, what does the continuation of Mayor Nutter mean?
Disaster.

And this, in which a college professor of mine gets plaudited (if that's a word) in the Times Book Review...

Finally, on the second-to-last page of his history of memoir, a tale packed from beginning to end with scandals, liars and cheats, Ben Yagoda asks the question we’ve been waiting for: How do we know when we’re being duped?

And this, where SI's Chris Ballard makes a pretty logical case as to why Bronnie (the hoopster, not the Real World Cancun inbred) should spurn a salary...

Of course the next time an NBA player leaves $50 million on the table will be the first, and for most athletes in their prime such an idea would be foolish. But then, LeBron isn't most athletes. When it comes to curating his image, he's always been a trailblazer...

And, finally, this, where White Jesus, Usain Bolt, the guys from The Hangover, and ...

... get shouted out.
You're welcome.

Why Thierry Henry will sizzle in hell

2009-11-21T12:56:00.002-05:00

The Irish just can't catch a break, even on the pitch.
I wasn't down with the whole Freedom Fries thing. Till now. Even if Thierry Henry has handled his been-caught-cheating fracas with dignity. I've already added an * to the 2010 World Cup winner. Unless it's the US. Which is as likely as Ireland winning it, methinks.

This aggression will not stand

2009-11-21T09:29:00.001-05:00

Suffice it to say, whoever Selena Gomez is will scorch in hell for doing what she did to what I'm not ashamed to say is a wonderful Backstreet Boys song. (Big ups, Krimpet.)

Charlie Dawg update

2009-11-21T09:23:00.002-05:00

Just thought I'd share a couple shots to bring all y'all up to speed on how Chuck Diesel, aka Chas D, aka Charlie Dawg is doing post-surgery and post-suture removal. Suffice it to say, she's A-OK ...

2009-11-20T22:29:00.001-05:00

"About 30 Ireland fans traveled to the French embassy in Dublin on a double-decker bus Friday, but they were blocked at the entrance by guards ..."

And in an instant, my inherent good-will for Philadelphia Police returns ...

2009-11-20T13:14:00.005-05:00

Hey, remember a couple weeks back when I got hit-and-ran again and wondered, nay, lambasted the Philly police for not investigating when I gave them a license plate, and knew the address of the person who hit my car?
Yeah, well, I apologize. Got a call today. They're working on it, albeit two weeks later than they would have like to have started.
My bad.
In related news, yesterday, I was back at the spot where I should've been killed last November. I'll share why next week.
Have a good weekend.
And remember, if you're driving, don't drink. And if you're drinking, don't drive.

"Gonna spread my word, by standing on this box."

The Hickey Endorsement: The Killers Live at Royal Albert Hall

2009-11-20T11:52:00.003-05:00

Each time I've left a Killers show, I've always wished they had a live-CD so I could go back and pinpoint the differences between live and studio. The differences are subtle. The energy isn't. Dudes are totally into a kind of music that I respect for getting me amped at every turn. Well, this week, they released the Live at Royal Albert Hall CD and DVD. I got it Wednesday night. I didn't go do sleep until early Thursday.
If you're already a fan, get it. There are a few off-beaten-path songs that really bang in concert (Bling, notably).
If you're a hater, I defy you to watch the DVD performance and then tell me why they're too poppy or mainstream for your tastes.
And if you're in between, well I'd say you should get it too.
Shit's tight.
And if you're not moved by the A Dustland Fairytale performance like I continually am, we can just agree to disagree and move on. (Though, I'll think you have bad taste for 'ternity.)

Culling the info-pile herd

2009-11-20T11:27:00.004-05:00

Don't know how I managed to let a stack of mags and papers accumulate on my desk this week but I did. And, since I'm going to take some respite from the keyboard next week, I might as well share them with yous today, rapid-fire style.

-- Seems as if an AP poll found that most football players lie about head injuries so they can keep playing. Seems as if an AP poll came to conclusions that will allow rich team owners and league deities to claim they just didn't know they were forcing workers to ruin their lives so they could cash in during a limited period of their lives.
Classy.
I'll remember this when Westbrook sounds like Frazier.

-- Who knew that flavorists wallowed in a sect of secrecy? Slugworth, that's who.

-- Who knew that Glenn Beck was a calculated racism-, xenophobia-, hate-mongering imp who will sizzle in hell fire? Me, that's who. And the New Yorker's Nancy Frankln, too.

A headline at the top of Beck’s Web site announces what he thinks he’s selling: “the fusion of entertainment and enlightenment.” If by this Beck means that his product is radioactive, he’s got that right. We can only hope that its toxic charge will fade over time.

-- Saw a blurb about Transylmania in Maxim. It's a movie with "hunchbacks, evil scientists and orgiastic vampires." Mmm, hunchbacks.

-- Maxim also had a great, great story about the former "top narco cop in Texas" who now trades his wares smoking weeeeeeed and telling fellow users how best to avoid arrest. This redeems my faith in the story of humanity. But Maxim's lack of a link on its site sends me right back to cold reality. So, I looked Barry Cooper up elsewhere. Here's where you can find him. You know, to say thanks.

-- Oh, after reading this last week's Rolling Stone, I'd highly recommend -- no post-pun intended -- catching the four-hour R n R HOF Concert on HBO next Sunday. Mick's there. So are other people who are great in their own rights (like Bruce, about whom Killers front-man Brandon Flowers wrote a tribute as his inspiration: "He wipes the floor with any 25-year-old kid.") but just not as great as Mick. Except maybe Aretha. She's bad-ass. Mike Love's speech from '88 is, too.

2009-11-19T17:53:00.001-05:00

Coming tomorrow (or so): My endorsement of a newly-released CD/DVD combo. Predictable, yes, but wholly accurate.

Hydroponics

2009-11-19T08:54:00.001-05:00

Ok, not exactly. But I did write about hydrogen for KeystoneEdge.com today. Check the story out here.

And my anger about Brian Westbrook only grows...

2009-11-19T08:47:00.004-05:00

Here's what I haven't seen from the Eagles or anybody else amid the whole march-Brian-Westbrook-toward-brain-death charade: A single person accept responsibility for letting him play just weeks after suffering a head-shaking concussion, or even for -- if it's the case -- letting him talk his way back onto the field.
In fact, the positivity coming from Pittsburgh yesterday ...

The University of Pittsburgh Medical Center released a statement last night, after Westbrook was examined by Dr. Joseph Maroon and Dr. Michael (Micky) Collins, a neurosurgeon and a neuropsychologist who work closely with Dr. Mark Lovell, director of the center's concussion program and developer of the treatment protocols the NFL uses.
"The UPMC doctors report that Mr. Westbrook's symptoms have improved significantly over the last three days. He was retested today with a battery of neuro-cognitive tests, including ImPACT (Immediate Post-Concussion Assessment and Cognitive Testing), a computerized tool that is used by all NFL teams for evaluating injury recovery. He also underwent comprehensive physical and neurological exam, results of which were favorable," the statement said.
"We are very encouraged by Brian's progress, we believe that he has an excellent prognosis and we expect a full recovery," Maroon and Collins were quoted as saying. "We developed a comprehensive physical rehab plan for Brian, and we will repeat the detailed testing in the next two to three weeks."

... makes me wonder whether Carson Palmer was right: We are going to see someone die on a National Football League field, and sooner rather than later.
If Westbrook is back on that field this year, I'm done with the Eagles. Mark it down.

Finally, a reason to at least sorta-respect what Miley Cyrus is all about

2009-11-19T08:43:00.004-05:00

And I use even "sorta-respect" loosely. But when I-dont-even-know-what-to-label her was asked about Twilight and the Twilight sequel, here's what she had to say ...

"I've never seen it and nor will I ever," Cyrus, 16, said recently during an interview with Cleveland radio station Q92.

You go, um, Miley.

My heroine

2009-11-18T13:57:00.002-05:00

From Deadspin: Elizabeth Lambert Comes Full Circle

“I think the way the video came out, it did make me look like a monster. That’s not the type of player I am. I’m not just out there trying to hurt players. That’s taking away from the beauty of the game. And I would never want to do that.”

You have a friend in Brian Hickey, Elizabeth.

This Week's Metro Column

2009-11-18T10:00:00.003-05:00

Couldn't find a link for it quite yet, so here 'tis verbatim:

Beyond the Sea
By Brian Hickey
Much has changed since my 1991 high-school graduation. I have a college degree, marriage certificate, big-ole mortgage bill and can’t just stroll onto planes juggling samurai swords. The last part’s exaggeration. Nobody of sound body and mind juggles samurai gear.

Here’s something that doesn’t toy metaphorically, though: That year, Congress authorized the nine-figure Delaware River dredging project. Yet to this day, though the Navy Yard has been retrofitted with dreams of future vibrancy, the shipping channel remains five feet shallower than the 45-foot mark that longshoremen say the ships of today and tomorrow truly need to keep our ports on the A-list.

When the Army Corps of Engineers suspended channel-deepening in 2002, the response was that Philadelphia is teetering on the brink of becoming a jobs- and cargo-bleeding wasteland. But, Congress’ General Accounting Office questioned the economic benefits, with a side order of environmental concerns. There it was stalled until last month, when news arrived that the channel deepening would start as soon as January.

“The train’s left the station,” the metaphor-mixing Arlen Specter said while Gov. Rendell claimed it’d be a tri-state economic blessing, and that his state would shoulder the environmental fallout. (Fun fact: If ever asked how far having good White House friends goes, the answer is 102 miles.) Not-so-fast should be the dredging mantra, though.

Incoming N.J. Gov. Chris Christie picked right up where his predecessor left off in claiming, via legal brief, that toxic sediment could get pulled to the surface. Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden seems convinced he holds the state-permits trump card. Factor in another damn GAO study, and those in Philly’s corner seem to be banging their heads against a ship-wall.

“Dredging is essential to our livelihood,” explains longshoreman Flip Renzi of why his International Longshoreman’s Association brethren will hold a Start-Dredging-Now! Rally at Pier 98 (Delaware and Oregon), tomorrow at noon. “But, they’re studying it to death.”

With nearby competition already getting up to deepening speed, the ILA doesn’t want to miss a direct line from the Pacific through a refurbished Panama Canal; they claim that North Jersey is playing South Jersey vs. Philadelphia so Newark’s port can thrive. Politics aside, though, the ILA’s Martin Mascuilli says the “thousands and thousands of jobs, and the development of (the old Navy Yard)” makes it more important than ever.

If that’s not a shovel-ready stimulus program, I don’t know what is.
-- 30 --

Vote Trautwein!!!

2009-11-17T16:06:00.002-05:00

Any of y'all remember my interview with Bruno-dupee Jody Trautwein? If not, go here. If so, well, go here again. I offer this to the voters of Birmingham, AL as some insight into He who would be their Mayor, as per an email I got from the Hon. Trautwein just moments ago:

Dear Friends,

As many of you already know Birmingham, Alabama will hold a special election to elect a new mayor in 21 days on December 8th. After much prayer and wise counsel, I believe it is the will of God for me to enter the mayoral race. I qualified last Monday and held my campaign kickoff press conference yesterday morning. The response so far has been tremendous and I thank all of you who are praying, have contributed financially, and are working as volunteers for the campaign so far, but there is still MUCH WORK TO BE DONE!

As you can read on my website at www.jodyformayor.org, I believe Birmingham is at a crossroads as a city and this mayoral election is critical for our city's destiny. Future generations will look back at this time as a "defining moment" in the history of Birmingham. And you have an opportunity to help Birmingham choose what I believe to be God's dream for our city! Additionally, Birmingham has always been a flashpoint for national and international movements which tells me this election holds results that could influence nations! As a visitor walks through the Civil Rights Institute here in the city one quote always stands out. It reads "Birmingham, the world is watching!" This is true now more than ever!

I am asking you to take a moment to read about my top issues for the city of Birmingham at www.jodyformayor.org, pray for Birmingham and my campaign, and consider using your time, talents, and treasure to help support this effort. We need 297 more people to give $40 each to hit the target of $12,000 to execute the winning strategy. Signing up to volunteer, giving funds and/or offering in-kind contributions such as printing services, etc. are all easy to do on the website, www.jodyformayor.org.

Lastly, as the 21-day threshold came to my mind this morning I am asking for those who feel led by the Lord to join us in a 21-day fast for Birmingham and the upcoming mayoral election! Please be prayerful in choosing what to fast during this period. Our city, like your city, and cities all across America and the world desperately need Jesus! Agree with us for the perfect will of our Lord to be done!

Thanks again for your time and consideration!

Changing cities with you,
Jody Trautwein
"Trautwein For Mayor: Awaken The Dream!"
Committee to Elect Jody Trautwein
P.O.Box 19692
Birmingham, Al. 35219
205-365-2757
www.jodyformayor.org

Well, can't be any worse that the dame I saw on Oprah yesterday, right?

This is just awesome, awesome, awesome

2009-11-17T15:51:00.001-05:00

Watch in its entirety if trippin' out on acid and throwing a major-league no-hitter is your type of thang. (H/T to Pearlman, who H/T'd ESPN's Jeff Bradley.)

New posts ...

2009-11-17T14:02:00.002-05:00

... on the Divorce Court blog. One's about weight. The other's about a "who's crazier" contest.

Don't waste a drop

2009-11-17T13:05:00.001-05:00

This reminds me of my friend Freddie from college. He knows why. Everybody knows why.

I don't think you need me to tell you how big a douchebag the normal New Yorker is ...

2009-11-17T12:54:00.002-05:00

... but just in case you did, here goes:

New York City office workers who ran out of confetti during the Yankees' World Series parade instead threw confidential financial documents, including pay stubs and bank statements.

And er'body thought Robinson's Luggage was bad. Jeez.

45 random thoughts during Sarah Palin's appearance on Oprah

2009-11-16T15:59:00.043-05:00

1. I wonder if Todd's allowed to watch this.

2. No, I really haven't been waiting to hear what Sarah Palin has to say Oprah. I heard enough of it before. It was weak-minded nonsense.

3. Oprah may be more delusionally self-absorbed than Palin, who is a liar and a whore.

4. I really don't think Palin is a whore. That's just a line from a movie of which I can't recall the name.

5. Her book is a best seller because America is filled to the brim with morons and easily-seduced saps. It's like Nagasaki, but rather than wiping a people out, just their intelligence fell victim.

6. She says she felt confident in her executive experience to be one Johnny Mc heartbeat from leading the world. She seems to think people can be felled like moose from a helicopter.

7. Bristol's still hotter than her mammy.

8. Christ, she pulled the D-in-high-school-science is the only skeleton in her closet. I can imagine there are five human ones in there right now, dangling on the edge of, and scream-praying for, death.

9. I LOVE HOW THE AD ON THE TOP OF MY BLOG SHIFTED TO AN AD FOR PALIN WHEN I STARTED THIS POST!!! OH YE WEB-MARKETERS OF SUBPRIME INTELLIGENCE!

10. Levi seems like a good dude, but hell, he should just stop talking to various Pat O'Brien-esque gossip shows. It just gives her legs to stand on.

11. She calls out the haters. I would suspect she couldn't define that.

12. She does have a point that the press laid off Obama's family, but not hers.

13. Going back to No. 9, I hope I make, like, $5 by cashing in on Palin's Idiot Nation. I would spend it on meth. Or crank. I've never even done meth and crank, and I wouldn't, but just to spend Palin loot on it would make Brian a happy boy.

14. I wonder if McCain was just trying to swing a menage. Cindy would be into it.

15. I'm all about empowering women, too. Just not crazy women.

16. Todd is banging a moose right now. Don't ask me how I know. I can just sense his buggery.

17. She self-tanned her face differently than her hands. Which lends to the question: Do the curtains ...

18. No, Oprah, you most certainly cannot wear the same suit every day. Unless you're a superstitious undertaker.

19. Her hair would look considerably better if it were darker, and brushed. Still the hottest politician this side of Ron Paul -- meow! -- though.

20. It wasn't the economy's fault, moron. It was you. Namely, your blatant under-qualification for the office.

21. "Not so much," she says of her preparation for what she thought was going to be a "lighthearted" "working mom" interview with Katie Couric. I think things would have went better if she could have named a single newspaper she read daily. Damn that vast left-wing conspiracy!

22. I hardly believe the McCain campaign said "Right on" after her interview with Couric.

23. She does have a gift for shifting from nonsense to talking point. That'll serve her well.

24. Neanderthal from some nomadic tribe. You said it, Sarah. Not me. But I'll certainly steal it for my use.

25. She has a friend named Betsy. Pat O'Brien's wife is named Betsy. I sense a connection. I yearn for it to be true.

26. Being pro-life is empowering women? That's a debate I'd actually sit through. At least until she shoots the abortion doctor.

27. Actually, this is compelling to hear her explain how she told Todd their baby would have Down Syndrome. It's a shame they didn't talk more about that before "Sarah Palin on Levi Johnston" popped up -- no pun intended -- on the screen which preceded a commercial for (what appeared to be) Jenna Jamieson on tomorrow's show. And to think I have to wait 23 hours and 29 minutes for that one.

28. I wonder if Sarah ever has naughty dreams about Levi. Or Levi, Todd and her. I'd lay 4-to-1 odds that the answer to the latter is yes.

29. She has a point that "Ricky Hollywood" is out-of-line for going public with all the family stuff. If she's right that his media tours interferes with his seeing the kid, he's a dirtbag.

30. I think she has a foreign-country flag pin on.

31. Is she wearing a weave? Curtains. Drapes. Sorry, I had to go back around with that one.

32. Philly cop was in a car crash in Northeast Philly (Cottman and Castor). No word on the seriousness of the injuries.

33. Yes, there are consequences to unprotected sex. One of them is losing an invite to the Palin dinner table on Turkey Day. She is handling these questions about Levi (or Ricky) rather well. I'm impressed. He has an open invite to go to "Aunt Katie's" house in "Washington." Whatever the f*ck that means.

34. LOVED the action shots from Sarah's gym. She's got chicken legs, though. I knew that from when I saw her in person, but I still wonder whether they make the ass look better jeans or worse. Life's mysteries.

35. From Angie: "They have a Winnebago." That's boss.

36. If Todd were to tell the truth, I guarantee he voted for Obama. You know, just to get the boss lady back for all the cross words and actions.

37. I'll tell you what she was thinking on Election Night, Oprah: "Now that I've taken the party down, but loony hotness will harvest votes in 2012. Now, make me a spot of tea, Jeeves."

38. I probably sound belittling, but I concede that she's coming off better than I thought she would. I wouldn't vote for her in any election not sponsored by Maxim or Oui, though. And nor should you.

39. The family-time-constraints question leveled at her, and not at male politicians, is bogus. And sexist. But the product of nature and societal nurture.

40. "A new normal in Alaska" may be my favorite phrase since "Mind if we dance wif yo dates?" I call shenanigans on her for blaming Obama's FOIA campaign for pushing her to resign. She resigned because she'd tasted Dom Perignon and just couldn't go back to Brut.

41. I'll bet she gets aroused with just a whiff of musk. Or Drakkar.

42. "Effecting positive change," that's what she wants to do. Running for President isn't on her radar.

43. Her media coaching team gets an A-minus for getting her prepped to perform like this. My opinion on her hasn't changed a lick, but she came off as human. And you betcha that counts for something.

44. I wish Oprah had asked if she could really see Russia from her porch, though. Sarah effectively fended off the question of whether she'd get a competing talk show.

45. I LOVE how the Action News tease before her last three minutes included this fitting photograph ...

Q&A with Peter King in the Weekly

2009-11-16T10:34:00.003-05:00

Yo, y'all. I'm not quite over the disgustingness I saw yesterday when Brian Westbrook was permitted to play with a concussion-rattled head which became all the more special when -- wait for it -- he got another concussion. Good thing I touched on the issue when I interviewed Peter King last week for a Q&A on philadelphiaweekly.com:

PW: What have you heard about the head-injury/concussions issue since the Oct. 28 hearing in Congress? (A U.S. House Judiciary Committee heard testimony about former NFL players being ravaged by the head-trauma they suffered while playing pro football; the issue has garnered increased coverage of late.)

PK: A lot of players are very interested in it. You saw it with [Brian] Westbrook [being held out of last week’s game vs. Dallas with a concussion]. I think it’s in the back of everybody’s mind that we need to err on the side of caution. If nothing else comes out of it, the players need to stand up for themselves. If they’re having headaches, they must assert their own rights.

So many issues, too little time.

2009-11-15T19:52:00.001-05:00

The NFLs business-first side crossed a point-of-no-return line in letting Brian Westbrook play today. I'll remember that sin a long time.

Weekend Reading Roundup (The 'I Don't Think..., Either' Edition)

2009-11-15T16:56:00.002-05:00

That Brian Westbrook should be playing today, either.

That pharma lobbyists should be writing health-care talking points for elected officials, either.

That douchebags on bicycles who hit-and-run have one iota more of a soul than douchebags in cars who hit-and-run, either.

Midget Muay Thai Action!

2009-11-13T14:33:00.003-05:00

Judging by the last round, I think I just watched Rocky 1/2.

2012

2009-11-13T11:49:00.001-05:00

Um, yeah, you might want to check out today's Divorce Court write-up. It involves the world's end. That is all for now.

Eat at Tonio's

2009-11-13T10:55:00.002-05:00

My buddy John Gleason posted pix of the flooding at 25th and Ocean Drive in Avalon courtesy of the ongoing Nor'Easter. They say it's worse than the 1998 storms, but I recall ocean meeting the bay outside my house on 91st in T.I. that year, and that SIC Mayor Lenny Desiderio couldn't even get down my way with a Natl. Guard truck. So if what they're saying is true, well, that'd suck.

This Week's Metro Column

2009-11-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

The guy standing center ring in a standing-room-only South Philly wrestle-teria Friday resembled a Skynyrd enthusiast. The guy flying through the air with the greatest of ease had an epic perm and smiley-face covering his singleted rump. My cell camera captured the blurry moment when Perminator took feet to foe’s skull.
Confession: I enjoyed the unapologetic Ring of Honor Wrestling violence as much as anybody, but later – thinking about legs, arms, chairs and whatnot being forcefully applied to skulls – I couldn’t shake flying-head-shot physics from mine. It’s just not good. You know it. I know it. And Chris Nowinski knows it.
A Harvard grad, Nowinski went from 2002’s WWE “Newcomer of the Year” to 2003’s concussed shell of an athlete to 2009’s advocate for sports-related brain-trauma awareness with the Sports Legacy Institute near Boston. He cites former Eagle Andre Waters and former Flyer Keith Primeau as local ties to his ultimate goal. After Waters’ Nov. 2006 suicide, docs posited damage from hard-hitting pro football contributed. This April, Primeau donated his post-death brain for study so that others careers mightn’t be cut short by multiple concussions like his.
On Saturday, Nowinski keynoted the “Connections for Life After Brain Injury” gathering at Thomas Jefferson University. He showed a video of co-workers roughing him up. “The guy who kicked the back of my head broke his foot,” he commented. That resonated in a room of injured brains.
Nowinski’s battle to get the NFL to man up and take responsibility for former players’ game-related head injuries has recently gotten big-time attention. He testified before an Oct. 28 Congressional committee hearing – NFL interest can help youth players, Nowinski offered, along with a “10 Point Plan to Save Football” – and national publications have finally written about science supporting his stance. Once woefully under-reported from youth to pro leagues, it’s becoming a topic du jour. This is good.
But what isn’t good is players getting sent home to shattered lives while team owners roll around on beds of billion-dollar bills. Nowinski says the NFL has started budging because “it’s in their best interest to change” which explains the closer eyes kept on Brian Westbrook’s mental-fitness to play. That’s not enough.
“If a group profits off of destroying people’s brains and is not willing to change, they’re the enemy,” Nowinski says. “We need to prevent people from dying because of ignorance.”
Even head-kicked wrestlers know that.

Sayeth the NFL, ye shan't do anything to promote a product that doesn't line arrr pockets with clams

2009-11-12T16:00:00.003-05:00

Christ, Brent Celek's Captain Morgan TD pose has risen to the level of controversy. We have too much time on our hands to worry about things we shouldn't worry about.

During the third quarter of Dallas’ 20-16 win, Eagles tight end Brent Celek(notes) caught an 11-yard touchdown pass from Donovan McNabb(notes), then appeared to purposefully back up and align himself in front of television cameras. Putting his hands on his hips, Celek raised his right leg, mimicking a pose similar to the pirate on Captain Morgan’s label.
As far as anyone knows, it’s the first time we’ve seen that type of guerilla-style advertising campaign in an NFL end zone. And if the league has its way, it will be the last, too. The “Captain Morgan” was effectively banned this week after the league learned of a wider campaign meant to get players to repeatedly strike the pose during NFL games.
“A company can’t pay a player to somehow promote it’s product on the field,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello told Yahoo! Sports this week.

Psst, hey Commish: Why not start worrying about retirees whose brains are scrambled because of your sport? Atta guy.

Three Great Things

2009-11-12T08:02:00.003-05:00

1. I don't know how to say this other than just saying it, so here goes: One week after he emblazoned his version of Poker Face into my brain in perpetuity, Eric Cartman became Glenn Beck last night. Complete with an attack on Smurfs.
As an aside, I'm not saying Cartman is classier than ole Glenn-Bo. I'm just asking questions.

2. That Twilight guy on the cover may be getting all the attention, but Mark Bowden has a remarkable piece in this month's Vanity Fair, with MontCo ties, about a nuanced online sexual-predator case that may not be all that authorities made it out to be. Translation: They could have entrapped a local guy into saying he'd have sex with a woman's daughters just so he could have sex with her. I know, a tricky fine line. But, well worth a read before you decide for yourself.

Like other popular delusions, fear of the Internet child-molester contains a trace of logic. It is reasonable to ask if the explosion of Internet pornography, including child pornography, might lead more troubled souls down a path to criminal depravity. But the Internet has been with us since the mid-1990s. If it were going to cause a sudden increase in molestation, wouldn’t we have seen it by now? In fact, the trend lines go the opposite way. For instance, sexual assaults on teens fell dramatically—by 52 percent—between 1993 and 2005, according to the Justice Department’s National Crime Victimization Survey.

3. I stopped paying attention more than 24 hours ago so the whole thing may have gone berzerker crazy by now, but in the Sunday Times, there was an interesting sidebar about non-abortion nuances to the House health-care bill that bear understanding.

Lower taxes for gay couples who receive health benefits from employers. Nutrition labeling requirements for snack food sold in vending machines and many restaurants. A new program to teach parents how to interact with their children.
Those are some of the little-noticed provisions in a mammoth health care bill taken up Saturday by the House of Representatives.

3a. I'll post the link to my Metro column when it runs this week; it's about rasslin', at least in part it is.

2009-11-11T22:26:00.001-05:00

Mobile blog update: Eric Cartman is playing Glenn Beck tonight!

America Rules!

2009-11-11T10:48:00.002-05:00

You know it. I know it. And Charlie Kelly knows it.

USA. USA.

Veterans Day

2009-11-10T14:21:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow's a holiday, but perhaps everyday for the rest of your days will be too! Just drop Angelo Totti a line. He's a soldier. With much of Saddam's money to spare, or so sayeth this scam of an email I got last night!

Very Important message:

My name is Angello Totti I am an American soldier. I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, as you know we are being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs. We managed to move funds belonging to Saddam Hussein family. The total amount is US$25 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills. We want to move this money to you, so that you may invest it for us and keep our share for banking.

We will take 70%, my partner and I. You take the other 30%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone. We plan on using diplomatic courier and shipping the money out in one large silver box, using diplomatic immunity. If you are interested

I will send you the full details, my job is to find a good partner that we can trust and that will assist us. Can I trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication also your contact details. This business is risk free. The box can be shipped out in 48hrs.

Respectfully,

Sgt. Angello Totti
angelototti@aol.com

Poltergeist Revisited?

2009-11-10T13:35:00.004-05:00

So, did anybody else have this picture flash up on their TV during the first half of the Broncos game last night? It freaked me out, until I realized I remembered that all good children go into the light. So, I have that going for me in the fight against random elder-porn foreplay.

2009-11-10T11:27:00.001-05:00

A mobile blog-post test from the Acme. Holla atcha food-shopping boy.

Non-Spoiler WSOP Post

2009-11-10T10:45:00.002-05:00

So, the World Series of Poker's over. All it takes is a simple google-news search to find out who won. Which is why I know who won. But all I'll say is this:
A pair of nines beat a suited Queen-Jack to win the $8.5 million pot.
Fear not: Final Table's on ESPN tonight.
(And if you must spoil it for yourself, you can do so here.)

Product News-Placement

2009-11-09T17:32:00.004-05:00

Listen, I used to collect Campbell's Soup wrappers like the rest of my Strawbridge School brethren and sisteren so I got nothing but love for the Camden company. But product placement on a news show? So veddy sad.

The Soccer's Savior Award ...

2009-11-09T10:05:00.001-05:00

... goes to New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert for being one bad-ass bitch. Check it out, yo!

Weekend Reading Roundup (Faces of Death Edition)

2009-11-08T11:13:00.009-05:00

Astley!!!

From the looks of the reading highlights this weekend, it's a damn good thing health-care got through the House last night. No, not because some close-minded God freaks were able to shoe-horn even more state controls over what a woman does with the unformed fetus inside her. But, because all the good reading was about sufferin' pain.
-- Like how the Beltway Sniper is scheduled for righteous execution on Tuesday.

For those wounded by the D.C. snipers and for the relatives of those killed, the emotions leading up to Tuesday's scheduled execution of the mastermind behind the 2002 attacks vary as widely as those who found themselves in the cross hairs. ...
"The reason why this life is going to be taken has everything to do with choices that he made and the process that those choices took him through," (Robert) Meyers said. (Meyer's brother Dean was killed.)

Say, anti-death-penalty folks, I don't hear much protest out of y'all. It couldn't be that you realized you were fucking wrong about the issue the whole time, could it? Open your veins wide, John Muhammad. You're on the highway to hell now.

-- Or how the case of a woman who left Sixer Willie Green's house and hasn't been heard from again is still unsolved. And, quite frankly, is really hinkey, especially when Green's agent goes out of his way to say Green's in the clear.

The Knebels wonder why the basketball player and his guests did not take steps to ensure their daughter got home safely.
Green would not comment, saying: "I've already talked to the authorities, and they have all the information."

Somebody knows something, that's for sure.

-- Or how the sociological, societal impact of "Fight Club" continue to expand to this day.

In the academic sphere, as an Internet search of scholarly journals reveals, “Fight Club” has inspired a host of interpretations — Nietzschean, Buddhist, Marxist — in papers that take on topics including the “rhetoric of masculinity,” the “poetics of the body” and the “economics of patriarchy.”

-- Or how America has a very violent history.

Scholars ranging from theologians and psychologists to evolutionary biologists have offered theories about murder—theories of evil, theories of disease, theories of disposition—but the analytical burden placed on any general discussion of murder, freighted, as it is, with atrocity, is nearly unbearable. Nothing suffices, or can.

Maximum sensory overload

2009-11-07T00:07:00.006-05:00

I'll have a lot more to say about the subsequent pictures from South Philly ROH Rasslin' tonight and verbatim email from the Divorce Court contestant (I like calling pretty much all of them that) and new Facebook friend who doesn't think I captured the real essence of her day in court. Enjoy.

hey, what's up with all the innuendos!
I am an innocent China lady, they (the show) made me up to look like da bitch.

teaser: a clip that didn't make the show, please please leave a comment on the facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=132276462555

Gin Ling
http://www.myricegirl.com
http://www.myghostcat.com

Introducing Glenn Beck, King of Simpleminded Hatemongers

2009-11-06T15:24:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, upon hearing about the Ft. Hood mayhem, I wrote, "I can't wait to see how the 9.12 Brigade blames Obama for that 'A-Rab' soldier going on a Texas kill spree."
Well, today, not only did I read a NY Times piece about the shooter that stated ...

[F]amily members said that he had complained about being harassed expressly because he was a Muslim.

... but then I got an email from Glenn Appendixless Beck, subject line: "Obama's shocking post shooting insensitivity‏."

As if blaming Bush for the floundering economy and the continuing effort to pile on to an already enormous deficit weren't evidence enough that Barack Obama isn't exactly presidential -- he poured more gasoline on to the fire with his remarks after the shooting at Fort Hood. He should have come out completely somber and measured in his remarks. Instead, he did THIS.

Ft. Hood shooter yelled 'Allahu Akbar'
"A US army psychiatrist about to be deployed to Afghanistan allegedly shouted 'Allahu Akbar,' or 'God is greatest,' as he opened fire at a military base in Texas, killing 13 people and wounding 28."

So, in summary, here's how I'm interpreting this thing: Among a litany of motives, simple-minded religious hatred drove this guy crazy, and those simple-minded enough to hate someone for their freedom of religion are harping on about it.

This chick...

2009-11-06T09:57:00.002-05:00

... was on Divorce Court yesterday. She brought a duck head for display purposes.

Why did I read the philly.com comments again?

2009-11-05T22:13:00.003-05:00

Well, because of this supremely knowing one from a name I shan't repeat, on a story about the TWU strike.

phillyfansrdumb
Posted 09:16 AM, 11/05/2009
no where in this article did willie brown say anything about race. although he may have in some venues. learn to read and comprehend people. these were points the daily news noted.
yet the fact remains that septa has underfunded the twu's pension(s) and according to the thieving lawyer that represents septa and the city from ballard, spahr and "shisters" (aka the union busting lawyers for rendell and nutter) septa only pays into it what they're legally obligated to while septa funds managements pensions at 95%.
it's not just race it's the rich looking out the rich and pitting the working class against each other for crumbs. brown is right penny pitching nutter doesn't want the contract the twu gets to be a template to be used as a guideline for city employee contacts.
as a matter of fact nutter's pennypinching arse had a statement issued that the city wasn't going to pay for a phillies parade. it hadn't even been concluded there might even be a parade which we know now there isn't going to be. yet he wasted $$$ 2 weeks ago greasing the lightposts and having the large vases/urns removed from broad st. using police and other city heavy equipment.
actually it's management in this city be it septa or the city or city council that has a sense of self-entitlement just like all the corporate fat cats in this nation.
lastly since race has been interjected into this now is it right for septa management, which this article pointed out is mostly white to feel "self-entitled" to funding their pension(s) fully while only putting in what they feel like for the workers because they're mostly black.
the problem is we need a bogeyman to blame for our own cowardice because we won't stand to the people who are in charge and leading us all straight in to a hole. willie brown at least has the cajones to take the heat.
the rest of you tools are just glad to have a job in this economy that we all screwed in by the haves whose interests are protected by our elected officials.

In an instant, my inherent good-will for Philly Police disappears

2009-11-05T16:35:00.006-05:00

The one thing that really stuck with me after being on the daily crime-and-fire beat: Cops are not lazy.
I'm questioning that now.
It's less "lazy" than "resigned to having to blow certain crimes off." All started yesterday when I got dinged at the corner of Ridge and Midvale by someone in a white 2000 Chrysler. I can say, with certainty, the car model because that's what came up after I wrote the tag number down as it sped off south on Ridge.
The collision was far from substantial. A foot-long dent and a two-foot spread of white paint. I wasn't hurt. It didn't upset me in the least, other than the fact that the dirtbag driver took off.
So anyway, I waited an hour for the officer to arrive. Had other work to do, but it's important to me to try and hold hit-and-run folk accountable. She was very nice. Took the information. Gave me a number to call to get the report number.
Well, when I called back today to find out whether any charges resulted from the incident, an officer at the 39th District politely told me point-blank that chances are it wouldn't amount to anything.
They knew who the car was registered to, but haven't confronted them about it. Besides, I was told, it would be my "word against theirs." Apparently, witnessing a crime against you isn't enough. And due to that, apparently, driving over to a little street between Sedgley and Cambria is just too much for them to do. They told me to contact the insurance company so -- wait for it -- the insurance company could go after the driver.
Let me rephrase, bold, and give that its own line:
The cops told me to have my insurance do their job for them.
I can only assume this happens all the time, and that some might not be as hesitant to go to the car owner's house and see if they can't come to some sort of agreement. Like the agreement Kensos reached with that kiddie-rapist, you know?
When they sped off, I thought they were the biggest villain to enter my life since last year's coma-inducing hit-and-run. Well, that might change should police be content to file my case away into the "Eh, why bother doing our job?" file.

The Sniffles

2009-11-05T12:30:00.002-05:00

Want to know the best reason to go all hermit these days in Philadelphia? Well, take a look at this swine-flu preparedness survey that Men's Health did this month. Flu bug rendered you far-sighted already (Or is it near-sighted? I don't know. I just wear glasses.)? Allow me to translate: Philadelphia is the most ill-equipped to deal with it.

Poor NJ

2009-11-04T17:57:00.001-05:00

Bad speechwriter for daddy.
Bad manners for tyke.

More warped than the opening of Trainspotting. More depraved than J. Gumb.

2009-11-04T13:46:00.003-05:00

Legowigkade invited readers to submit fan art of Arthur Kadyshes. Good luck scrubbing your brain clean of this ...

Mmm, wine.

2009-11-04T13:29:00.003-05:00

In honor of this ...

The 7-Eleven convenience store chain announced Tuesday it is getting into the value wine business, releasing two low-priced proprietary wines in the United States and Japan.
Sold under the Yosemite Road label, the California wines, a chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon, will retail for about $3.99, a price-point that has been doing well despite — or perhaps because of — the economic doldrums.

I present to you, the future of America ...

Dear Fenderbender-and-Run Driver at Midvale and Ridge

2009-11-04T11:21:00.004-05:00

Hey, good to get in touch with you. I'll bet you figured you'd just get away with taking off after trying to pass me on the left, on a one-lane street, as I tried to actually turn left. You did? Well, sorry.
Not only did I catch the groovy "Paris" plate on the front bumper of your white sedan, but I also wrote down your plate number: Pennsylvania, HGY-1252. But that's a matter of public record with the 39th District now. I'll be sure to think of you when I get the car fixed ... on your dime.
So goes life when you happen to tangle with a guy who was in a hit-and-run-induced coma just about this time last year.

Today's Stories

2009-11-04T08:33:00.004-05:00

Well, I have to figure the whole SEPTA strike (and subsequent regional-rail torching) will render readership a wee-bit less than normal. So, here's a link to today's Metro column ...

Name one good reason why Domingo Ferreira’s jail-cell suicide wasn’t fitting justice for what his daughter Charleeni suffered at his, and allegedly his evil wife’s, hands.

Bonus: Here's a story I did for a magazine in Atlantic City about next week's World Series of Poker final table, featuring Phil Ivey, who learned to play underage at the Tropicana, Taj Mahal and other places; and Eric Buchman, who continues to regularly play at the Borgata. Buchman's second from the chip-stack top; Ivey's third from bottom. (It's a PDF online; my story appears on pages 18 and 19, which are actually 34-36 in print.)

Train blaze photo from kyw1060.com.

Straight to DVD

2009-11-03T21:21:00.001-05:00

They showed a scene from this before The Dayman Cometh. It looked unbelievably entertaining.

Aww

2009-11-03T20:55:00.004-05:00

From the "catch and care for your twin baby pigs" segment of Tool Academy.

Three People

2009-11-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

R.R. Piper. G.T.A. Steele. J.Y. Dog.

Winter Session '94-95

2009-11-03T20:07:00.006-05:00

I don't know why, but I searched for a video-game on Youtube a couple of minutes ago. A game that I played, I believe 92 times in a weekend; I can't remember with any certainty, but there were scant losses. It was during a five-week class in between semesters at The University ... of Delaware.
Except I didn't have a class senior year; I was just there for the drinking.
And the Sega '94 Hockey.
(The secret with Selanne and Kariya, who could not be stopped, was a break-away going toward the opposite post with the back of your stick to the goalie and then squaring the shoulders, flipping the stickblade back and wristing it in behind the keeper.)

The final question

2009-11-03T14:58:00.000-05:00

Do you start Cole in a potential Game Seven?

Off Day at the World Series = Musical Interlude on the Blog

2009-11-03T10:00:00.002-05:00

Fine, it's not that great of a song. But, I dig me some Lily Allen, if it's all the same to you. Particularly, when she goes all Jame on Elton.

Finally, a reason to even moderately like Brett Myers

2009-11-03T08:55:00.005-05:00

Things, they changed when Brett Myers beat his old lady up. But last night, he redeemeed his un-hate-ability factor to a certain point, depending upon your Cole Hamels perspective. To wit:

The incident was related to Hamels' statement after Game 3 that he was looking forward to his frustrating season being over. As Myers walked past Hamels in the locker room Monday he reportedly said sarcastically, "What are you doing here? I thought you quit?"
Hamels replied with an expletive, the witness told the Web site. Myers was quickly guided away from Hamels' locker by a team official.

Hamels has gone down the Ricky Watters "For who? For what?" path. If Chollie starts him in the potential Game Seven, I might root for the Yankees. Even if he apologized to Philly.

"I went to Charlie just to talk to him because that's who I am, and I think he understands that," Hamels said. "I just wanted to tell him my true thoughts -- that I'll never ever quit. I want to play this game until somebody takes it away from me."

Fine, I'll NEVER root for the Yankees and their greed-laden douchebag sect of fans to succeed in anything in life, but you get the point.
F Hamels.
And, on an unrelated note, F SEPTA.

Douchebags

2009-11-02T16:56:00.001-05:00

So yeah, Macy's ran this ad in the Inquirer.
In related news, if Cliff Lee is Cliff Lee, they don't lose it tonight. But they lose it eventually. Sometimes, things just become crystal clear.

(Grazie, Philebrity.)

Charlie Dawg Update

2009-11-02T15:31:00.004-05:00

Charlie continues to improve and regain total fiestiness, already insisting that we play tennis ball in the alley. Sutures come out in a week or so. (As a sidenote, she insists you check out today's Divorce Court update. There was a flashing involved.)

Weekend Reading Roundup (Sportspacolypse Showdown Sunday Edition)

2009-11-01T14:04:00.013-05:00

I stayed in last night. For one, because of the rain delay. For two, because of how today holds the promise of being among the best non-championship-clinching days in the 215's History. Suffice it to say, I haven't gotten -- and won't get -- to the front pages tucked neatly under the crossword puzzle till the morning. Well, afternoon.
But here's a brief round-up of some good tales from today's funnies.
In the spirit of the day, I'll hold forth that the Inquirer crushed the NY Times this time. So suck it, New York.

-- There's not much me and Tigre Hill agree on philosophically. For instance, he likes to note that Ben Roethlisberger has two Super Bowl rings while I like to retort that he's a rapist who couldn't handle a motorcycle properly if his arms were wrapped around a biker boy's waist. But, I respect his work, and him for having the gumption to follow his vision. The Inky's Amy Rosenberg wrote a piece about his soon-to-be-released flick about Mumia today.

"I have not come out as saying Mumia is guilty, but you can see where it's going," Hill says. "I'm not afraid of these people. There are African Americans who believe what I do, but are hesitant to say. I don't want to make it racial, even though it is racial."

Since he doesn't say it, I will: Mumia should sizzle.

-- Inky's self-admittedly-portly Harold Jackson tears into Bubba, er, sorry, I mean Chris Christie's insistence of whining that Corzine mocked his weight, averring that he'd have -- no pun intended -- more legs to stand on if he was just specific about a single promise he was making.
Like the one in which he'd actually be able to care for a state when he can't even take care of his blubbery self.
WWRSVF? I'll tell you who Richard Simmons would vote for: Anybody but Christie. You should too.

-- You want to know my inherent issue with knee-jerk liberalism? The holier-than-thou bitching and moaning whenever someone is morally opposed to their issue of the week. Like, say, transsexualism. I don't think it's natural. It isn't. That's not to say I would assault, mock or withhold any rights that I -- a straight, married male -- have access to. I wouldn't. But I won't be forced to accept the fact that children confused to the point that boys think they're girls and vice versa is the norm when it's abnormal.
You can't convince a nut-job right-winger that abortions should be performed and you can't convince me that God (or whomever created us) meant for there to be three genders: male, female and take your pick. All that said, boy who considers himself a girl shouldn't have been treated the way he or she says he was treated while in Philadelphia's kiddie jail.

The complaint contends she was physically attacked by other residents and orally abused by staff every day for almost a year and a half. The teen, now 17, is in foster care but is no longer in custody. The Youth Study Center, which was on the Parkway, has been torn down.
"We are seeking the commission to investigate the charges and take appropriate measures to end discrimination and harassment against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered youth," said Flor Bermudez, a lawyer with Lambda Legal in New York City.

Interesting that I didn't pickup any mention of why he or she was in kiddie jail in the first place from Lambda or the story, though. Probably wouldn't help sculpt their victimization approach.

-- RIP, Pete Shellem. You did work that every journalist should aspire to do, instead of sitting in a recliner on a Sunday writing about how the pro-transsexual movement annoys you.

Well, it's 30-7 at the half. Means I'd better start dusting myself off for a Sunday-evening out on the town. Ciao.