Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at www.twitter.com/brianhickey Flickr at http://www.flickr.com/people/brianhickey/. Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court: divorcecourting.blogspot.com.

30 April 2009

Weedman's New Show

Well, that was quick! Not even two hours after shouting NJ Weedman Ed Forchion out in a post about my cataracts, he hit me up on Facebook with a Youtube link to his new tellie show's trailer. It includes Don "The Magic" Juan so you know its pimphand is strong.



Respec'.

UPDATE
Here are some additional clips. Word.




US - HUMAN RIGHTS VICTIM (NJweedman) from Edward Forchion on Vimeo.

Zodiac caught?

Was the dead Zodiac Killer outed by his daughter? You be the judge, because I'm off to 1) play tennis ball in the alley with Charlie Dawg, 2) watch Divorce Court and post about it on Facebook, 3) get changed into a PE T-shirt and camo shorts and 4) finish my magazine piece. Word.

KADE!


The requests have rendered it necessary to continue to keep Kade Watch alive.
I care not, since this dude -- if real, and that's a huge if -- is such a scrote that public shaming is necessary.
In fact, I've been tempted to go down to his Cosi and just watch as the Duke of Pockmarked Faces arrives, just to watch the staff's reaction when Kade arrives toting manpurse and camera.
So, imagine my shock when I actually agreed with the first line of his latest post, titled, "Enhancements." It goes:
In this age of medical technology, a girl needs to do everything possible to make sure her body and face look amazing at all times.

I mean, he's kinda got a point there, right? We're all shallow like that -- when it comes to TV. Well, Kade being Kade, he shot that support in the foot with the crazy shit he wrote next.
I see too many girls who are 7’s and 8’s that could be so much hotter with larger breasts or lips, liposuction in the hips or stomach, or other work done to their body, and are not willing to take the steps necessary to enhance their appearance. I am not sure why certain girls are resistant to upgrading their features with medical help, because when you are in a metropolitan city that is a “meat market”, then you need to do whatever you can to land someone like me who only wants the best. I once dated a girl who was a 9, but with fake boobs would have been a 10, and when I told her to get them she would say “I like my body, if you don’t, then too bad”. I thought it may be a money issue, so I offered to buy them figuring we may date long term, but she refused the offer (I would never make that offer today, that was the “Old Arthur”). I lost attraction for her because during sex I would want more to play with, and eventually I just got tired of settling and broke up with her.

Suffice it to say:
a) Kade isn't even a third of the 7 or 8 ranking,
b) He probably takes what he can get despite his posturing. And, by taking what he can get, I mean man, woman or shemale gimp, but
c) "I will be filming on 'Ugly Betty' this Friday, and I believe that it is the show’s final episode/season finale. I am excited to be part of this since the show was groundbreaking, and they have requested very attractive people to shoot from Friday afternoon through the night into the morning. Night shoots can be difficult, but I want to make sure that I can be potentially seen by millions of people that will be watching and may notice me."

Yeah, and there are 86 comments. The highlights:

# Anal Gasmon 29 Apr 2009 at 10:13 pm
Arthur you’ve changed! Ever since you became a star you don’t call me anymore. I miss our moonlight walks together, the way you would hold my hand gently while giving me a reach-around, the feel of your sweat on my back.
Why won’t you call me anymore? What happened to us?

# Natashaon 29 Apr 2009 at 10:22 pm
Maybe you should do something about that duchebag nose before you go around saying all women should work out 6 days a week, tan and get plastic surgery. Like honestly, you look old. Way too old to be getting into acting, modeling, whatever the hell you think you’re doing. I hope your already average looks fade fast. And dude, since when does taking care of yourself include tanning? Hello wrinkles. I hope you get cancer.

# Chrison 29 Apr 2009 at 10:26 pm
Please, someone in Philly, hurt this guy. You know where he is and hangs out. Hurt him, Beat him close to death. Please. Dear God, PLEASE

# Sucioon 29 Apr 2009 at 10:33 pm
HIV won’t help you age gracefully either, Artie. I’d like to stab you with a dirty, discarded needle from a hooker on Kensington Ave, that’s real enhancement.

# Arthur's Chodeon 30 Apr 2009 at 1:31 am
Art,
Will you just spare me and cut me off with a chainsaw?! I don’t want to be part of you anymore as I believe you can get an enhancement and replace me with a bigger nose than the one that is already on your shovel-faced mug.
Happily and waiting for your reply/action,
Art’s Chode

# Rhinestone Choirboyon 30 Apr 2009 at 3:41 am
This is either a hoax or a man on dire need of psychiatric treatment. Nice work with the “speech marks” again, you “fucking knob cheese”

# I want to be like you!on 30 Apr 2009 at 4:29 am
Kade is clearly the source of swine flu…..its too late to do anything about it now, we will just have to wait for the Kade vaccination.

And, finally:
# The Ryanatoron 30 Apr 2009 at 11:06 am
Hey Bud!
In this life, it’s important to know what you want.
Plus, it’s completely within the realm of possibility that science will have figured out how to stop the ageing process before too much longer.
Arthur, this means that you may never have to lose the chiseled, athletic, hyper-masculine, borderline godlike, delerium-inducing, swoon-tastic face and body that will have cemented you as one of Hollywood’s Elite. You can be the new immortal Valentino, and finally find a chick who won’t get old and gross to be your love interest; perfection for all eternity.
So exciting!
Keep shining!

My Bloggy Wogg (Vol. VI)

08/04/05
We did a shame confession exercise where people admitted shameful acts from their past -- cue tales of child molestation, public wanking and group sodomy from anxious catamites. This has made my mind feel heavy, and the air is a noxious treacle that clogs and burns my weary lungs. I yearn for some clean, bright expanse -- a Shangri-La in which to sit, away from all this
Obviously, I have developed an intoxicating crush on my female counsellor, Erika. She's twenty-six and has quite big tits (36DD/E). I spend our sessions doing nought but posturing. Starved of female company as I am, she is -- to me -- a glacier of unattainable beauty
Watched Malcolm X -- great story but overlong and indulgent film-making

-- R. Brand, My Booky Wook, p. 392-3

Retracting yesterday's post


Yes, Masters.

I said yesterday that I wouldn't be updating till the weekend. I know this. But this swine flu's got me f'in battybattybatty! So, before I sit in my recliner, with Vicodin easing my pain and allowing me to write more today, King Swine told me there's some things I ought to be tellin' yas. And really, once he took over the Blue Hen family (for context, 10 people at UD constituted a dorm-room-capacity party), there's little I can do but honor His wishes.
-- Sure, the dumb-farmer section of PA will NOT let this happen, but props to state Rep. Mark Cohen for trying to get medical-mj for the Keystone State. I'll be moving to Jersey when it gets shot down because, um, of my cataracts, or near Ed Forchion's shop out in Cali, but still. Noble move, Mark.
-- Selena Roberts, the SI writer who despite not knowing me personally sent a considerate card and checked in on my recovery numerous times post-hit-and-run, has a book coming out in which she again exposes Alex Rodriguez as the Yankee Doodle Steroid Dandy. It comes out May 12; Yankee haters of the world should buy it.
-- Mutombo retired!
-- And, finally, on a serious note, Magee Rehab's Night of Champions fundraising dinner is next Friday, the 8th. I'll be there up until the second I have to leave to swim across the Delaware to watch The Killers at my first post-near-death concert. Hopefully, you will be too; here are the details:

Vince Papale added to list of local sports celebrities attending Magee Rehabilitation Hospital’s Night of Champions Event on May 8

Eagles’ legend, Vince “Invincible” Papale will be joining other celebrities from the Philadelphia sports world including Andy Reid, Jon Runyan, Howard Eskin, Adam Taliaferro, Billy Cunningham, Fran Dunphy, Mike Mamula, Scott Palmer, Joe Conklin, and Raheem Brock at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital’s Ninth Annual Night of Champions held on May 8. The event, which begins at 6:30 pm, will once again be held at the Sheet Metal Workers Union Hall at 1301 South Columbus Blvd, Philadelphia.
In 1976, Papale, a 30 year old teacher, high school coach, part-time bartender and die hard Eagles fan decided to act on a whim and a dare and entered the unprecedented public tryouts for his beloved Eagles…and made the team. Instantly electrifying the fans and eventually winning over skeptical teammates with his gritty play, Papale helped the Eagles rediscover their winning ways. From being voted Special Teams Captain by his teammates to earning Eagles “man of the Year’ in 1978 for his numerous charitable activities Papale was an NFL sensation until a shoulder injury ended his playing career in 1979.
Disney made a major motion picture starring Mark Wahlberg about Papale’s life in 2006.
The Night of Champions event includes dinner, raffle prizes and auctions of autographed sports memorabilia, exclusive gifts, restaurant certificates, getaway weekends, and travel packages. All funds benefit Magee’s Wheelchair Sports Programs, which support athletic programs that help former Magee patients and individuals with disabilities in the community improve the quality of their lives through physical activity. Programs include wheelchair basketball, rugby, tennis, and soccer. Magee’s wheelchair sports programs have involved more than 450 athletes over the past 20 years.
For more information on tickets or sponsorship opportunities, call 215-587-3090 or visit MageeRehab.org.

29 April 2009

Here's to beer. Here's to Ben. Be polite.

Excuses, excuses

Hey, won't be updating till the weekend. So sorry, but so busy.

27 April 2009

Ninety-degree days don't feel so good on stitched head wounds ...

And that's one to grow on.
Since I'm tied up with not one or two, but three writing projects ahora, I have to bail after sharing a piece of sketch-art that my scarred head inspired from Jay Bevenour, who works locally for Philadelphia Weekly and nationally for the likes of SI, Fortune, etc.
Check out his bevenour.com website here, and check out his sketch here:


(I kind of dig how, because of my blog's layout, it makes me seem like Cheney's overlord. Doesn't it? If yes, do you think he'll step to order once I say, "Hold your breath as long as you can while laying on the waterboarding plank?" God, I hope so. 3, 2, 1 ... Dick Cheney, I hereby command you to hold your breath as long as you can while laying on the waterboarding plank...)

26 April 2009

Weekend Reading Roundup


The force is strong with you, young Conant. Now, continue your nurturing suckle.

Well I'm either exhausted or unable to find more than one non-swine-flu topic that engages my interest. Your pick.
But thee ole reading roundup focuses today on columns about Pres. Obama's first 100 days in office. The first one comes from a noted Philly journalist. The second comes from some twit that did such a heckuva job as the 2008 RNC national press secretary that he's scribbling whiney freelance pieces about how evil the new guy is. As a plus, at least he kept the racist card up his sleeve. As a minus, you can tell it's there.
You guess which is which:

A) "As we approach the 100-day mark of his presidency, Barack Obama has broken or bent many tenets of his campaign, including promises on war, spending and good government."

B) "Reagan was highly visible from the outset - a staff memo had advised that he govern as if running "a perennial campaign" - but he basically focused on just a few big issues, carefully laying the groundwork for massive tax cuts. He didn't even sign his first law until early April, from his hospital bed. He certainly didn't bust out of the gate this way:
Signing an economic-stimulus plan; signing a law expanding health insurance for children and another providing more pay equity for women; shifting the priorities in two foreign wars; demanding historic reforms in energy, education, and health care; bailing out banks; expanding stem-cell research; killing sacred cows in the defense budget; talking nice to Muslims; taking on greenhouse gases; touting the benefits of high-speed trains; doing outreach to Cuba; firing a top car-company executive; killing pirates; getting a dog; and whatever else I lack the space to cite."


Answers:
A) Alex Conant, RNC flak, whom I hope is ready to face the repercussions for ceasing to suckle Cheney's man-teet long enough to produce this pre-K-level prattling.
B) Dick Polman

24 April 2009

Anything* for you, Ms. Botwin!


*Up to, and including, free plugs for the Season Premiere of Weeds.

My Bloggy Wogg (Vol. V)


"I'd been aware of Osama bin Laden for about a year. He wasn't someone who people of my age group generally knew about, but he'd been involved with some other bombings and he was top of the FBI's most wanted list, and I was fascinated with that sort of stuff. That day, I was going to present this programme called "Select," where kids phoned in and chose videos for us to play, and pop stars would come on to flog their records. That afternoon our guest was to be Kylie Minogue. Me, Gritty and Edwin went into the toilet and the two older members of our party smoked some crack -- Edwin didn't have any. He was just a little boy, and seemed quite upbeat about life anyway. Children don't need drugs, because they have sweets." - R. Brand, My Booky Wook, p. 269

23 April 2009

Who's dumber than a brain-surgery patient, mid-surgery?

So, I woke up on Tuesday around 2 p.m. after the doctors at Cooper put pieces of my skull back in my head, in what should have been the last surgical procedure post-operation.
Among the first things I asked myself was this:
How long will it be until someone does something so patently stupid that you'll be able to bestow them with the Dumber Than You Were While Under Anesthesia D'Or Award?

The answer? Forty-three hours!
Because that was when I woke up from a slumber, checked out my amazing head wound, walked downstairs, picked up the Inquirer Local News section and, to my utter astonishment, read:
Fumo seeks an order for a new trial
His lawyers said that the evidence against him was insufficient, and that the judge had erred.


Wow, he even looks worse than a guy with a head cut open less than two days ago.

Ah, yes, the insufficient evidence that leads to a shutout verdict. I can't wait until, once this noble attempt at freedom is shot down, when Vinnie tries the, "Wah, can I get a medical exemption from going to prison, wah, since I got a little lightheaded in the courtroom, wah, during my, wah, trial? I swear I won't even set foot out of my, wah, mansion; I'll just play Dollie with my high-end hairspray and cleaning products. Maybe I'll even dress up in my Tootsie costume, Your Honor."
What a greed-laden, unrepentant, self-important swine. Maybe you should have thought about how a decade in the waterboarding cell would have felt before you started stealing from the poor to give to your rich self.
Good riddance, Vinnie.

P.S. I noticed that you re-upped your MENSA membership for life in the March issue of MENSA Bulletin. Well, I'm not sure if they send the publication to federal prison, but fear not, Vinnie: I'll hold down the brain fort!

22 April 2009

Chupacabra en la shower cap?

Me before surgery:


Me after surgery (with what seems to be somebody else's double chin):

20 April 2009

Bye, for now

Hey, I'm going under the knife this week, so this'll be my last post for anywhere from a couple days to, well, I'm not going to say it. But just a couple things:
1) You'd think that since the accident knocked the will to smoke cigarettes clear out of me, I'd be all like those whiny obnoxious twits who put on their best fake cough when someone is smoking near them. Well, I'm not. Still loathe 'em as much as I loathed anybody who took away the right to smoke while drinking in Philly. THEY are the true facists. But those in Nevada prescient enough to want to scale back their statewide smoking ban? True American heroes.

2) Like Brian Dawkins, "If you cut me, it'd be a little green and orange mixed together. There will always be a part of me in my heart that's in Philadelphia. But what I consider myself right now is a Philly-grown Bronco [fan]." Causa Elway. Don't judge.

3) Check out the link to Jeff Pearlman skydiving. Didn't think he had it in 'im. And, was shocked that he tandem jumped with the SAME DUDE that I did in '96 or 97.

3a) The hit-and-run driver will be found. (S)he'd better hope it's by the cops.

4) And, finally, happy 4/20!

19 April 2009

Health-care crisis solved!!!!


So, I'm watching the Miss USA 2009 pageant. Don't judge. The Cubs game got rained out. And thank sweet Jebus it did, because Miss Arizona may have just solved the healthcare crisis.
The setting -- Final five contestants reach into a fishbowl and pull out a final question. Kenan Thompson of Kenan and Kel/SNL fame came with: Do you think the US should have universal health care as a right of citizenship? Why or why not?
To which Alicia Monique Blanco said, and I quote:
"I think this is an issue of integrity, regardless of which end of the political spectrum that I stand on. I've been raised in a family to know right from wrong and politics, whether or not you fall in the middle, the left or the right, it's an issue of integrity whatever your opinion is, and I say that with the utmost conviction."

Bravo, Miss Alicia Monique Blanco, for solving the issue and not daring to have the guts of Miss California, who just told Perez Hilton, another judge, that marriage should be between a man and a woman.
Oh yeah, in the photo, that's Billy Bush and the maid from My Name is Earl. They were the hosts, and I say that with the utmost conviction.

My Bloggy Wogg (Vol. IV)

"Even when I was waiting nervously in North London pub toilets, having diarrhoea and smoking grass to calm down, I could still cling onto a new sense of purpose." -- R. Brand, My Booky Wook, p. 216.

I thought of Russell today while reading the New York Times piece entitled, "Recklessly Seeking Sex on Craigslist." The whole Craiglist murders in Boston thang was the impetus for said story, but this excerpt is the real gravy. It's from a chick who sells used panties. Enuf typed...
Nola has acquired a stalker as a result of her actions, but still distributes her panties. She does not have sex with the men she meets online, meets them only in public places, and keeps a file of their names and photos, making sure a friend knows where to find it. She doesn’t limit herself to straight men. “I put ads up for lesbians looking for women’s undies, gay men looking for undies, rough-and-tumble guys,” she said. “This is just me sitting and being silly.”

God bless America. Silly land that I love.

Sunday, SUNday, SUNDAY


FA Cup soccer's on now. Phils at 1:30. Flyers at 3. Sixers at 5:30. And, Cubbies at 8. Man, it sho is hard out here for a pimp. If hard means easy to sit on the recliner all day and be entertained by sports while cracking open Gladwell's Outliers. If only I had some weed. What's that? Weed. Oh yeah, that's the sauce that Mark Bowden, column scribe for the Inquirer said oughta be legalized one day before 4/20. Granted, he stopped short of Weedmaning it -- he says he don't smoke no more and rips on the booze and cigarettes, as well. But, he did get the paper of record to print ...
[T]he prohibition of marijuana gives police an undue amount of leverage over average citizens. When something as widespread as pot possession is illegal, police can use it as an excuse to harass whole classes of otherwise law-abiding citizens. It should come as no surprise that the majority of those possession busts were young black and Latino men, even though surveys show that most of the marijuana users in this country are white.

Side note: Bowden also has an excellent piece on the NY Times quagmire in Vanity Fair. I'll provide the link but you should buy the magazine. I mean, if naked pictures of Tom Brady's bride are your thing. He doesn't deserve this...

Now, for some side notes:
-- Sorry, but I will not read the anti-Obama rhetoric of war criminal John Yoo until he's on the gallows.
-- But I will read Bob Ford, who has a stellar piece about the Kalas viewing at the stadium yesterday. (A stellar picture, here.)
-- And, any piece about posthumous sperm donation.
-- And, stories about rich, conservative scum pissing on endangered redwood trees (presumably, while they're not blowing, fisting, creampieing or roleplaying a "Pill-Addled Rush spanks Naughty Male Fan" scenario with one another.)

18 April 2009

The Sinny Awards (Vol. 1)


I think it's probably explained by the fact that The Soloist was the first book I was able to read/comprehend after some scrote ran me over with a car and took off. But I think that those drawn to question Steve Lopez's motive for writing what I consider a fantastic tale of how journalism bleeds out of profession and into personal would be well-served to read David Carr's piece about the film, the L.A. Times columnist, the L.A. homeless guy and the director.
“I was very concerned about the impact that the film would have on Nathaniel,” he said. “But when I met Joe,” he said, referring to Joe Wright, the young English director who was chosen to direct the film, "he seemed as concerned as I was.”
“When he came, I can remember him walking down that sidewalk,” Mr. Lopez said, gesturing out the window. “He looked homeless himself and seemed worried that as someone from Britain, he might not be the one to make the movie. But when I took him to skid row, you could see him imagining the film in his head already. He was not at all what I expected.”

Still questioning Lopez? Well, you get the Bronze Medal in this inaugural Scum of the Earth ceremony. You're bad, misguided and ignorant -- even -- but you ain't as bad as ...

No. 2:
Lookin' muff

St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaDusha, er, LaRussa who clings to self-importance to the point where he'd say, "I don't know how the Cubs get away with making the comments they make about umpires." Well allow me to retort: I don't know how LaRussa gets away with thinking that people care what he does, thinks or says.

No. 1:
Lookin' dapper!

Well, the top spot goes to none other than the Pope. For, not only does he think he'll stop the AIDS from spreading in Africa by pullin' all the rubbers out of continent and pep-talking them into not-putting-out (which seems so remarkably possible!), but the Vatican said He's all pissed about the ridicule that said approach generated.
Listen, I'm wise enough to realize that, because His Holiness mentioned by name seven times in his daily prayers, I'm still alive and walking. Seriously. Holy Dude helped protect Me in My time of need. And for that, I'll be eternally thankful to Him. But the reason for this quote ...
"The Vatican is responding to this protest in a measured and balanced way, but also firmly and clearly," said a Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi. "We are making it clear that the pope and the church won't be intimidated by these criticisms or by media campaigns and will continue to staunchly support Catholic positions on moral issues."

... is because they're risking lives on the swords of their ideology. And, last time I checked, that's a sin worthy of condemnation until the sinner reconsiders their approach.

Divorce Court, Weekend Edition

Sadly, Judge Toler isn't on over the weekend. So, I present a case of Lasancious Costict, a woman who "wants her red wines, wants her Cristal, wants her regular life back." Christ, she doesn't even fit in in a regular restaurant. And, get this, her husband Paul was a Gold-Record earning musician whose money provided with Lasancious with nothing short of the glamourous life.
What the fuck? He oughta get to steppin' instead of saying he'd take her back if she dropped the attitude and gave him the gold record back (She says she's the one to deserve the award and, "a gold one, at that." She's right.)
Some thug life you're leading, Paul. Unless you strengthen yo pimp hand, you can just suck it.



http://www.hickeyblunt.blogspot.com

17 April 2009

"I don't know what she do with the chicken tetrazzini, but Kyle love it"



http://hickeyblunt.blogspot.com/

Descent into Madness


So, I'm starting to think that this is the week that Gossip Girl goes way astray. How else am I supposed to react to an ad in Entertainment Weekly headlined, "Real Women. True Stories. Fresh Gossip." that promises the "real NYC stories revealed" about the "It Girl," the "Accomplished Ivy Leaguer," the "Designer on the Rise," and the "Brooklyn Filmmaker."
"Meet four inspiring 'Upper East Siders' as they balance the everyday pressures that come from a gossip-worthy life," it says.
Christ.
Listen, I'm all about the ladies having gossip-worthy lives, but if they screw up the new episode of GG, on the eve of my surgery no less, I'm done with the show forever. I guess my anger is what happens after EW tells me that, "Irritated by smoke, Britney stops concert and tells Vancouver crowd: 'Don't smoke weed.'"
Note to Britney: We'll stop with the weeding if you stop with the breeding.
Other verbatim (because it's too late for me to type) notes from this week's EW:
-- "I'll never forget kissing a guy on stage and someone from the crowd shouting, 'Don't do it, Wolverine.'" (Happy to make an impression, Boy from Oz.)
-- Sawyer and Meredith? Nate and Naomi? Have you gone f'in mad, Millionaire Matchmaker???
-- You want this T-shirt?

... Yeah, me too. Go here to get it.
-- And, since it was the Summer Movie Preview, here are the four that I'm'a gonna see, once my skull's back together:
1. Land of the Lost

2. The Hangover

3. Public Enemies

4. Bruno


http://hickeyblunt.blogspot.com/

My Bloggy Wogg (Vol. III)

"If you have to do some lying, you may as well commit to it. Hitler said, 'The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it.' I'm not holding Hitler up as a role model, the man was a filthy swine, but as I stood in the suspicious glare of my boss, I thought, 'What would Hitler do?' He'd probably have had her killed; she was a lesbian. Plus she was shouting and pointing and I don't think he'd have stood for that." - R. Brand, My Booky Wook, p. 224

Any, by request, I took a look at the Arthur Kade page of scrotesqueness and found ...
Two chicks, combined score: 3
One of the most asked questions of me is about my rating scale. I have girls coming up to me almost every night I’m out, asking me to rate them, and how I come up with certain numbers for certain people. I always have the same answer, which is, “This is not a set formula, and I don’t have a specific type that I like, it’s just what I see, and what I think a girl brings to the table”. People will ask about what hair color, eye color, height, body type, etc. that I seem to favor, and the answer is none. They ask me what is “stripper hot”, and who is a 10? I have actually had a girl tell me she wanted to go in the bathroom with me at G Lounge (because she thought she was a 9) so she could show me her body to rate her, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by giving her a 7, so I told her, “You’re cute, but I’ll pass”. She badgered me some more throughout the night, and I finally had to leave the Mogul Room to get away.
What I can tell you is that I am a very difficult grader, and it takes something very special to amaze me into giving them a 9 or 10.

Irish Lass' comment made it all worthwhile. I mean, I'm tired of Kade, but I still have some recovering to do, so I can't just watch Divorce Court all day.
IrishLass on 17 Apr 2009 at 12:25 pm
Well folks, it brings me great pleasure this morning to announce to you all that I have, at last, had my gruesome encounter with the douched-one.
I decided to grab a bite at Cosi before my appointment last night, and as I sat outside about ready to leave, low and behold Mr. Ass Licker himself strolled up to the door with his wittle baby backpack on, dressed in the same black v-neck shirt he was wearing in his haircut video.
I almost shit myself, to say the least, but then couldn’t stop laughing at the mini volcanoes of molten puss that don his chin and jawline. Poor Arthur really does suffer from adult acne!!! His dermatologist obviously isn’t the “premier” dermatologist (like I go to) in Philadelphia.
Now, I know that some of you are probably a) jealous that I got this close to such a “star,” or b) pissed that I didn’t throw my dinner at him. Either way, I can verify this turd is really REAL, really frequents “Cosi Coffee Shop,” and carries that horrendous backpack around like he’s still in kindergarten.


http://hickeyblunt.blogspot.com/

"I think the average person thinks I'm a f**king nut and I deserve whatever happens to me. That's what I believe." -- Tyson

My name is Brian, and I'm an addict.
No, not to the booze, cigarettes or drogas; I ain't had been in the land of vice since the end of November. (Pesky side effects of the hit-and-run. Note to driver: We're still going to find you. And, I don't think you're going to like me when I'm angry.)
But to Divorce Court. as you well know if you're on my Facebook page for even a tenth of a second. It's on at 11 a.m., Fox29. Plus, Arnold Jackson was on. Without Willis.


Well, I have to share photos of the Askews, who were on yesterday. In 2005, they came to Judge Toler's courtroom because Anthony just wanted Denise to grow her hair out and stop going to the clubs, where she'd "drop it like it's hot." He wore her wig and lingerie as evidence in court:


Well, they reconciled but, four years later, they were back. Because 1) Denise didn't heed his words, so he retrofitted her ride with a GPS, called, he estimates, "22" men from her cell-phone address book and she still kept her hair short and wigged:


You can guess how it turned out. That's right, they'll be back in 2012 to talk about hirstuteness yet again.
Oh, I've been doing some reading in addition to watching marriages publicly fall apart. A few highlights:
-- Glass Joe, King Hippo et al will be coming to Wii next months!
-- A lot of people have gotten killed by baseballs hitting their heads.
-- There's a better website than Expedia or Travelocity for finding cheap trips.
-- Esquire thinks that Todd Palin is the man for America now enough to headline their profile of him "Todd Palin is the man for America now."
-- And, the new movie on Mike Tyson is a must-see. Because Tyson is the pinnacle of badassery. (And, he makes me yearn for the days when fights got broadcast on the Wide World of Sports, Saturday afternoons. I think the Tyson/Berbick battle was on then.) Maybe, once and for all, it'll get explained why I feel bad because the world beat him down.



http://hickeyblunt.blogspot.com/

15 April 2009

Ahora, Desportes!




Hey, all. Just wanted to alert you to my column in the Metro today about former Flyers captain Keith Primeau having donated his brain, post-death, to the Sports Legacy Institute's Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy to further their study of concussions and potentially debilitating effects thereof.
Maybe I'm just brain-centric these days, but talk about a bold move, especially when you consider that the trauma from repetitive head injuries likely played a role in driving Andre Waters to an early grave ...
Said Primeau: “When you lived through as much as I have, there has to be valuable information associated with my brain.”

... as well as a reminder about Magee Rehab's Night of Champions, which has attracted yet another athlete to its guest list. (Selling point for those on the fence about buying tickets for the worthwhile event: Brian Dawkins sent, to my house, a signed Broncos T-shirt and I'm obligated to hand it over to the auction committee.)

Super Bowl Champ and Philly son Raheem Brock added to list of local sports celebrities attending Magee Rehabilitation Hospital’s Night of Champions Event on May 8
Raheem Brock, the starting Defense Tackle of the Super Bowl XLI Champion Indianapolis Colts and a Philadelphia native, will be joining other celebrities from the Philadelphia sports world, including Jon Runyan, Howard Eskin, Adam Taliaferro, Billy Cunningham, Fran Dunphy, Mike Mamula, Scott Palmer, Joe Conklin and Brian Propp at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital’s Ninth Annual Night of Champions held on May 8. The event, which begins at 6:30 pm, will once again be held at the Sheet Metal Workers Union Hall at 1301 South Columbus Blvd, Philadelphia. (MEDIA ARE INVITED TO COVER THE EVENT)
Brock grew up in the Germantown section of Philly, was a stand-out, four letter athlete at Dobbins AVT High School, and played football for Temple University where earned All-Big East Conference Second Team honors. He was drafted by the Colts in 2002 and has compiled 365 tackles, 25 sacks, 12 forced fumbles and 13 fumble recoveries in his career.
The Night of Champions event includes dinner, raffle prizes and auctions of autographed sports memorabilia, exclusive gifts, restaurant certificates, getaway weekends, and travel packages. All funds benefit Magee’s Wheelchair Sports Programs, which support athletic programs that help former Magee patients and individuals with disabilities in the community improve the quality of their lives through physical activity. Programs include wheelchair basketball, rugby, tennis, and soccer. Magee’s wheelchair sports programs have involved more than 450 athletes over the past 20 years.
For more information on tickets or sponsorship opportunities, call 215-587-3090 or visit MageeRehab.org.

14 April 2009

Confirmed: My Priest was a Low Toucher!!!


*Low-touching priest not pictured
First, let me say that I'm going to keep names and all out of this; after all, it's no laughing matter. But, I take solace in the fact that I'm not crazy since something I said all along, yet my childhood friend refuted, has been taken by him as gospel.
Just got off the phone with a former altar boy at the same time I served in such an illustrious role (illustrious in that, if you got a wedding assignment, you made off with some cash). And yes, I, Brian P. Hickey, was an altar boy, albeit one who would ring the bell a wee bit longer than the congregants thought necessary. Now, all along I'd been saying, "Father Joe Blown is touching kids low. Believe you me, Louie." But Louie would take offense. "Father Joe Blown is a man of God. And, a nice guy. He would never touch kids low."
Fast-forward to today:
Louie: "Yo Hick, Father Joe Blown was touching kids low. Someone he touched low told his wife who told one of my friends."
Hick: "No shit, Louie. I've been saying that since we were kids. I just knew it."
Louie: "Did he touch you low? He didn't touch me low."
Hick: "Hell no. But I have a feeling he touched Chet low. Chet was never the same after being an altar boy, you know? Besides, why do you think Father Blown got transferred all of a sudden when we were in junior high?"

From there, the conversation took a decidedly warped path:
Hick: "Well, why the hell didn't Father Blown try to touch us low? What, weren't we good-looking enough?"
Louie: "I think because we wore jeans under the robes instead of sweatpants."
Hick: "Yeah, and because we wouldn't sample the house (of God) wine with Father Blown."
Louie: "Ha."
Hick: "Ha. But keep Father Blown in your prayers tonight."
Louie: "I will."
Hick: "Later."

13 April 2009

RIP, Harry the K


BY THE INQUIRER STAFF
Harry Kalas, the Phillies' Hall of Fame announcer, died at 1:20 p.m. today, the Phillies announced.
Mr. Kalas collapsed in the press box at Nationals Stadium in Washington at about 12:30 p.m. and was rushed to George Washington University Medical Center.
The cause of the death was not announced. Today's game against the Nationals will be played, but the team will not visit the White House tomorrow.
"We lost Harry today," David Montgomery, the team president, said. "We lost our voice."
Mr. Kalas, who was found unconsious, missed most of spring training after undergoing undisclosed surgery in Feburary. That surgery was unrelated to the detached retina that sidelined him for part of last season.
Mr. Kalas, who turned 73 on March 26, has broadcast Phillies games since 1971. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2002 as the recipient of the Ford C. Frick Award. He is entering the final season of a 3-year contract that he signed in December 2006.

12 April 2009

Welcome to Comcast's Hypocr-land. May They Take Your Order?

Someone explained to me the other day how Rendell-brain-dude/Comcast-pusherman David L. Cohen is to blame for much of what started the ailing over at the Inquirer and Daily News. I'd get into it if that someone wasn't talking in a non-journalistic context, so let's just say that Cohen cleared the path for competition to the dailies to set themselves up for success and leave it at that. (Because He clearly did).
It made me think back to last week, when one of the dailies let Cohen hem and haw his way through a condemnation of the NFL Network's claims that Comcast wanted its customers to pay more than their $8,000-a-month bill to watch games on the league network.
It was kinda cute to see Comcast dust off a city power-broker to go all out for a free commercial, and all, but then he spewed that...

The NFL is the most sophisticated, lucrative, and powerful professional sports enterprise in the world, with a special exemption from antitrust laws that helps it maintain its monopoly on televised football. The NFL already makes more than $20 billion through long-term deals with ESPN, CBS, Fox, and NBC - more than the television-rights fees collected by the NBA, NHL, and NASCAR combined.
But the NFL wants more, and it's trying to use its enormous market power to force millions of our customers to pay for games they have always seen for free. (On top of that, it denies tens of millions of cable customers access to hundreds of games provided exclusively to DirecTV.)
Comcast currently makes NFL Network available on the dedicated sports and entertainment tier. We view this as the best and fairest way to provide NFL Network's expensive programming, because viewers who want to watch the channel can do so, while those who prefer not to aren't forced to cover the network's high costs.


... which leads me to my point.
As a DirecTV customer -- I had to get the dish as Comcast was unavailable in East Falls when we moved here in '05 -- I cannot watch Phillies, Flyers or Sixers games that appear on a Comcast channel (Thank Sporting God for 57).
The situation, which angers me as it drives me to alcohol when big games are on at the bar, leads me to believe that:
-- Comcast "is the most sophisticated, lucrative, and powerful professional [cable] enterprise in the world, with a special exemption ... that helps it maintain its monopoly on televised [baseball, hockey and basketball in Philadelphia].
-- "But [Comcast] wants more, and it's trying to use its enormous market power to force [me] to pay for games they have always seen for [the price of cable which would now be the price of satellite plus the price of cable]."

Now, if someone at Comcast cares to hem and haw through an explanation of how the NFL Network isn't merely following in their company's corporate footsteps in their approach, I'd be all ears. Because maybe then, I'd care what happens at the Comcast/NFL Network FCC hearings this week. But until then, I'm just going to repeat the mantra that, again using Cohen's propaganda against him...
[Comcast] should join us in putting the interests of fans and the viewing public first.

Weekend Reading Roundup (Quiz edition)

Q: Who got his daughters a dog named Charlie, to fittingly honor a Charlie Dawg who used to live in Sea Isle but now calls Philadelphia home?


A: The guy who lives in the White House.


Q: What's going to be the biggest issue in D.C. the week I go back to get my skull bones re-installed with titanium?

A: Yep, the one I wrote about in an Inquirer editorial a couple weeks ago, and the Times editorial page wrote about today: Health care.


Q: What's the greatest band in history?

A: The one with a three-page spread in the Times today but also the one that I won't go see on the new tour since when Jerry died, so did the Grateful Dead. Even if that dude's still selling grilled cheeses, laced and non-laced, outside RFK.


Q: How does someone who calls herself a "sugar baby" not think she's a little whorey when they get a couple hundred bucks to hang out with a sugar-daddy?

A: Unanswerable (Though a Temple U expert gives it a pretty good intellectual shot in this piece).


Q: And finally, what kind of punishment does a person who takes off after hitting a 68-year-old woman, at Ridge Ave. and Conarroe St. on April 3 while driving a light or medium colored pick-up truck with extended cab, four doors, factory rims and tinted side windows, deserve?

A: The picture says it all. And if you know the scumbag driver, call Johnny Law at 215-685-3180.

Gay Idols


So, I watched Milk last night. 'Twas very good, not quite great. And I still maintain that Spicoli, even though his performance was the highlight of those times I didn't avert mine eyes from the frequent dudes-kissing scenes, should not have defeated The Ram at Oscar-time.
But, I can live with it now, since I've seen his stellar acting. But what I can't live with is being away from the telly too long as I've paused the Williams-Wright fight (photo from HBO via my TV; and they're most definitely not gay) after the ninth to be with all y'all, albeit momentarily.
First things first: If Adam Lambert isn't gay, I am. And, since I'm most definitely not (I think my Milk-watching approach serves as confirmation to those who questions whether I was a little Freddie Morgan-esque), the Times piece exploring whether America could idolize a gay singer seems a little, well, overkillish.

I mean, HeLLLLLLOOoo, who doesn't say, "not that there's anything wrong with anybody's sexual preference. Except for those who prefer sheep or parakeets. Those dudes are just wrong. And that even goes for guygals who take post pics of themselves kissing dudes and crossdressing. F'real, f'real."?
Thus it seems plausible that a person with more than a toe peeking out of the closet might actually win the most hotly contested singing show on the planet. True, it took six years of public insinuation before Clay Aiken, the popular also-ran from Season 2, made the choice in 2008 to come out. When he did so, however, the anticipated career-stall never happened. The news was greeted with a collective yawn.

Translation: We can accept gay/lesbian/bi artists, but not if they just suck. Performance-wise, like Clay does. Jeez, can't a dude comment on gay matters without it getting taken out of context due to slick word choices?
Yeah, I think the whole gay-straight war is pretty much dust in the wind.

11 April 2009

The Absurdity of It All (My Bloggy Wogg Vol. 2)

Oh, Echo, how very nunny of you

Man oh man, read some incredible shizit on this rainy Saturday. So much so that I can't even go in-depth witcha. Just droppin' knowledge and getting on my way back downstairs to the recliner.
1. Fox is planning a show on people getting laid off. Perhaps they should just put cameras in the office of whomever pitched this show, tentatively titled "Let's, As a Network, Feast on Some Depressed Human's Flesh and Bones."
2. Some newspapers are still holding the line against the ad-sides that had long salivated about whoring their editorial product to the highest bidder. The L.A. Times? Um, yeah, they're not doing so, according to the N.Y. Times.
3. The Vatican sez aethiest ads in London brought people back to fiction, er, I mean going to church, er, I mean fiction, er, I don't know what's what.
4. Remember that coach who beat an opposing team 100-0. Yeah, well, he's not as bad as they made him out to be. No, really.
5. And, a Canadian demon-thrash metal band is the focus of what must be a pretty cool movie. No, seriously.
And with no further ado, the no-context-quote from Russell Brand's book:
I know it's difficult to imagine how a man like me could be thrown out of drama school, what with all the talent that I've got in abundance, and all the goodwill I'd earned with my earlier performances as a drunken, amphetamine-ridden Macbeth staggering out of Duncan's chamber, clutching a terrifying selection of butter-knives (it's all they had in the canteen). But thrown out of Drama Centre I was.

10 April 2009

To close Holy Week, a pop-culture round-up

Sammy Stephens is my lord and personal savior. Which is why it was good to see Him pop up, albeit just on a laptop and getting no mention, on the Holy Thursday dual-episode of The Office. Don't know who He is? Shame on you (I'm looking at you, Conor). But allow me to introduce you to the Hon. Guy who Runs a Store That's Just Like a Mini-Mall:



But Sammy wasn't even enough to cheer me up when I saw, albeit on a blog, 10 shows at risk of cancellation though they shouldn't be. For what it's worth, I defend 1, 3, 5 (vehemently), 6 and 7. Couldn't care less about 2 and 8, except that 8 was an inspiration for Eminem's latest video and am non-committal about 4, 9 and 10, because I haven't seen 10 yet.

RIP, Nick Adenhart

When Jeff Pearlman called me last night, I kinda knew what it was about even before I listened to the voicemail. So I didn't listen to the voicemail at all. Just called him back. Turns out he was writing his column for Sports Illustrated's website (si.com or sportsillustrated.cnn.com or bigger-readership-than-I'll-ever-see.com) about Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart, the 22-year-old rookie who died earlier this week at the hands of an allegedly drunk driver who hit-and-ran, only to later get caught. Well, Jeff kept a close eye on my situation as well; wrote about it a lot; cared about it a lot more since we were fellow Blue Hens and all. (Side note: Fans of Kenny Powers? Well, ye might want to thank Pearlman for writing the John Rocker story that launched the Tale of Powers, methink. Want to show him your appreciation? Well, buy his new book about Clemens. It's good.)
I told him what I thought upon hearing the Adenhart news: That's a lot worse than what happened to me. The kid died, but I was afforded the chance to heal, which I'm still doing. Feel so bad for Nick's family.
Well, here is Jeff's column on the whole sad thing.

Maybe I'm too sensitive. Just last November Brian Hickey, a close friend and former managing editor of the Philadelphia City Paper, was crossing the street in Collingswood, N.J., when a hit-and-run driver plowed into him and left him for dead. In the days and weeks that followed, most of us assumed the worst -- Hickey's skull was cracked open, his back was broken and he was in an induced coma. It was a jarringly up-close, personal view of what reckless driving can to do a human being and his family, and even as Hickey has made a remarkable recovery (His Facebook group, "Help Me Find the Person Who Almost Killed Me," is a worthwhile endeavor), I still hold that anger deep inside.


Safe to say he's where I learned how to write in college, huh?

My Bloggy Wogg Vol. 1


Just after midnight, an email lit up the lil red flashey thingey on my BlackBerry. It signified that I'd received a Facebook email from my friend's wife. Hold up! It's not what you think. She was just alerting me to the fact that that Russell Brand (pictured, from the dailymail.co.uk) was about to be on Letterman. So, I hollered downstairs to my wife something like, "Yo! Pause the Sex and the City movie that I'm happy not to be watching and tape Letterman. Russell Brand is on! Russell Brand is on!!!"
With my perpetual (and questionable if not for the brain injury and all) fawning over the Brit comedian, it seems anytime Brand turns up on the telly or radio-y, I get several alerts. And I thank you, wife of best friend, as the TiVo is currently paused so I can watch it after writing on my bloggy wogg. Because not only would I have missed it -- like I did with the NPR show he was on -- but I wouldn't have had an excuse to start my Excerpts from My Booky Wook by Russell Brand blog segment, in which I type a passage from his book without explaination.
Today, it just happens to be the first sentences of the first chapter.
"On the morning of April Fools' Day, 2005, I woke up in a sexual addiction treatment centre in a suburb of Philadelphia. As I limped out of the drab dog's bed in which I was expected to sleep for the next thirty wankless nights, I observed the previous incumbent had left a thread of unravelled dental floss by the pillow -- most likely as a noose for his poor, famished dinkle."

Be sure to come back any day you think I don't have something to blog about, as I'll be dusting off more passages. In many cases, they're racier, too.

Bonus coverage: Sports Illustrated not only commemorated the Tarheels' 5th national basketball championship (on the cover, nonetheless, because they're not from Duke). but had a stellar photo (unscannable) from Opening Night in town and a story on Jamie Moyer, Badass. And, from Rolling Stone, even though I haven't been to a Dave Matthews show since the kids fulla puke emptying it from their gullets took over, the passing of saxster LeRoi Moore was a loss big enough to get me to the record store the day before my birfday and purchase their new album, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King. Good story about Mastodon, too.

08 April 2009

F*** Yes!


Just when I thought Kenny Powers was up and gone from my life, he swoops back in. The NYT sez HBO signed on for a second season!

Legalize it!

Don't know why my friend's wife Tina emailed this link my way. Maybe it's because my mother died of brain cancer. Maybe it's because I'm alleged to -- well, how do I put this wisely -- respect marijuana as a healing plant that Jebus cultivates via earth soil (or hydroponics) for us all. Or maybe she just thought, "Hey, Hickey has a lot of time on his hands and he can't read Russell Brand's booky wook forever, now can he?"
But check this Forbes story out; makes the case that:
New research out of Spain suggests that THC -- the active ingredient in marijuana -- appears to prompt the death of brain cancer cells.

If only they said it speeds the healing up from traumatic brain injuries. Oh well.

Free Billy Barnes


So, a couple of weeks before I almost died I was on tap to write a cover story for Philadelphia Weekly about William Barnes. You know, the robber dude who shot a cop during a robbery attempt 40-some years ago, only to be charged with homicide after the officer, Walter Barclay, died in 2007.
Now, I'm all about executing cop killers. I think we should do it publicly, actually. But this case got under my skin onaccounta the facts that: 1) Barclay didn't die from the gunshots (unless you believe the M.E. who had to exhume Barclay's body to examine it) and 2) DA Lynne Abraham was seemingly allowing Barnes to die in prison without getting even the unfair trial that she was forcing him to face. I'd traded letters with Barnes and was planning to drive six hours to visit him in the maximum-security pen he called home. Then, I would make the argument that he already did the time for the crime, so the state should let him go.
Well, I had to scale the cover story back, but I wrote about the case in today's Philadelphia Weekly, with the hook that I interviewed all the candidates to replace the retiring Abraham and asked them how they would handle the situation.
Pretty interesting reactions there, so check it out.

Bonus round:
1. Congrats to the Weekly for winning a whole bunch of Pennsylvania Newspaper Association Keystone Awards. We, and I, used to take whole slew of these each year at City Paper. (I'm still the reigning weekly columnist of the year until the awards dinner.) I'm sure they would have this year as well, but methinks the bid'ness climate rendered award submissions impossible. Oh well. The ceremony was a bore anyway, unless I was on tap to give a speech after tablemates insisted I had a shot first. Then, you didn't know if you were getting a distinguished writer or a Russell Brand-alike. (The year the Flyers lost in Game 7 to Tampa, it was R.B. up there.)
2. If Eliot "Client 9" Spitzer is afforded the opportunity to make a comeback, shouldn't we embrace Pat "Coke and Hookers" O'Brien as well? I will not be able to rest until Lord P.O'B. is back on top. No pun intended.
3. Nixon and Kissinger enable a genocide? Nah, say it ain't so. Oh, Mr. Khmer Rouge, you're saying it's so? My apologies.
4. Joey learns that the price of the Fumo mansion is a mere $5.5 million! (Psst, hey Vince, other people's money is going to have you thrown out of your converted nunnery. Ironic, innit?)

07 April 2009

My Great, Gay Friend Butch

I'm straight man enough to admit it: I was once a bit homophobic.
And, if not being convinced that gay marriage is the best thing for our fair nation, well, in some people's eyes, I probably still am.
I mean, I don't think that's the case. For one, I believe that gays and lesbians should be allowed to reap the same benefits that male brides and female grooms do. All of the same rights. Yet -- for two -- I just don't think they should call it, y'know, marriage; frankly, it's all about the semantics to me. But to each their own, right? We're all God's children.
I don't know why I mention all this other than the fact that gays are on my mind, on accounta A.D.'s piece in today's Inquirer about Butch Cordora, a guy I'm proud to call a friend. Sure, it started as me covering the filming of one episode at a studio in Andorra (can't find the link for the 2002 story) and his 100th episode. But I could never wholly consider Butch just a source or a story subject, even though he called early and often when he thought he had a great story for me to tell. Like the naked calendar he produced, which I passed on. Nope, any dude who does a local-cable talk-show from the comfort of a bed was bound to be a friend from Day One. Hell, I even went to Woody's for the 100th celebration party. (I know what you're thinking, but I brought my wife, which was fine by Butch, who once called me "the straightest man I've ever met," which was fine by me.)
All joking aside, Butch was among the first visitors I remember heading over to Magee after the hit-and-run, and I could tell he was pretty freaked out by the whole mess, which is unlike him. But it was a freaky scene, and all the joking in the world wasn't gonna get me walking any sooner.
Societal labels aside, one word that describes Butch would be "kind, decent human being." OK, that's four words. I just couldn't describe him in one. Because the dude's a trip.
So, congrats on all your successes, Butch. Even though I couldn't make it to the party the other night, I'm sure it was raucous enough without me.

05 April 2009

Weedman video!

My friend Ed Forchion, aka NJ Weedman, aka marijuana proprietor in Cali, sent a video via Facebook. (Complete with the link to some more videos of his.) I bring it to you via my blog!


Liberty Bell Temple - virtual tour from Edward Forchion on Vimeo.

Weekend Reading Roundup

Before we go any further, just wanted to share how a New York Times writer sees the whole World Series chase going this year. Hint: It's a rematch of the game I saw yesterday (thanks Sulz!) but the result is flipped.

Um, the Royals? Ah, that's just fine. He's got the Cubbies winning it all!
Which is good, because there ain't much more good news in the papes this fine Sunday. Like:
-- Touching the headstone of a genocidal maniac has taken on the charm of carrying a dead rabbit's foot in your pocket,
-- In what could only be perceived as payback for the epic Sox playoff comeback over the Yanks, the Times might close the Boston Globe if its unions don't concede 20 millions bones,
-- Another 100 million bones that was supposed to go to thee old solar panelling of Pennsy homes is what they called "stalled" in Harrisburg (in which "stalled" probably means "dedicated to hairspray and Orecks")
-- and, an Inquirer piece maintains that the "fine" "men and women" of the Philly Police's Narcotics Field Unit seems to like holding hands and skipping about the neighborhoods tossing bodegas under the guise that they're selling las drogas when in reality, it was just payback. For God knows what. But sadly, most of town is seemingly distracted by a college kid's article focusing on one newbie cop's ignorant language -- I maintain it's not David Duke-esque racism; nor should a college kid's article automatically be given the credence of a professionally fact-checked piece until it's proven to have gone through said process -- while they should be focused on a gaggle of narcs using the failed War on Drugs to live out all their fantasies of being the big, bad bully-wully.

As for the mags, well, they're not much positive-r. Because SI ran a letter from a Kevin Lynch of Ossining (NY) calling Sir Charles a "degenerate." (Hey, isn't Sing-Sing is Ossining? And if so, could Mrs. Lynch be trying to earn some much-needed parole-board brownie points in said pen?) Also, a major faux pas at the NBA Timberwolves' "Reading to Succeed Night."
At least the mag picked both the Phils and Cubs to get into the playoffs. They say the Cubs'll beat the Phils in the NLDS but the Cubs'll lose to WS-pick Mets in the NLCS. And to that, I say they're stupidheads.

04 April 2009

Photos from Cubs/Yanks game







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