Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

31 October 2009

Buy him some peanuts and orig-inal-ity

Seems that original, interesting ideas are so few and far between at the World Series pitting the team with the latest championship against the team with the most that the Inquirer's John Gonzalez just didn't know what to do today. So, he delved into a discussion that ensues every time I wear a Cubs or Broncos hat out the door.
I get the impression he must've been a male cheerleader in high school with long unfulfilled letter-jacket yearnings.
If you absolutely insist on ignoring this most fundamental fan doctrine and root for an out-of-market squad, please remember that you can't claim multiple teams from the same sport. You get one - and only one - in baseball, football, hockey, and basketball. That's it. This isn't a buffet, and it's not all you can eat.

Oh me, oh my, just how can I not marry myself to teams that play in the area I was born? Well, I'll quote from the City Paper story from when I was in a hospital bed:
He sat in a corner office, usually wearing his ratty Cubs hat or a Broncos knit cap (Brian is too stubborn to root only for local teams) ...

You see, Young Johnny, I followed Ryne Sandberg to Chicago considering I was a little-league second baseman who became attached to a player. And, John Elway is better than every Eagles quarterback in history, even in those days when he was getting drilled in back-to-back SBs. So, you may lazily rely on the "this'll get the blue-collar fans in my corner" mantra that enabled you to sneak the Saturday column past your editor. But, the only singular crime I can see is letting this dude waste newsprint on nonsensical "issues" that have been argued into the horse morgue long ago.
Go Cubs. Go Phillies.
Go Broncos. Go Eagles.
Go Inquirer. Go New York Times.

Charlie Dawg Update

Charlie's looking and feeling better each day. Yeah, there's still the matter of three sets of stitches coming out (doc cut a trio of benign growths from her precious lil head off) but methinks she'll be back to full tennis-ball chasing self in no time at all.
In lieu of get-well gifts, Charlie Dawg asks that you just send checks to her proud papa. Says Charlie, "Please write 'Vegas trip donation' in the subject line. Arf."

Hey, I have an idea, let's allow corporate-greed and cold hearts to dictate how much effort we put into necessary health-care reform! Brilliant!!

Way to be the pussies we've always thought you were!
WASHINGTON - They may not like it, but many House liberals look ready to accept a compromise health-care bill, putting Democratic leaders well on the way to delivering on President Obama's call for overhaul.
After saying for months that they couldn't vote for a bill without the strongest possible government-run insurance option, liberals are putting aside their disappointment over the weaker version in the legislation for a historic chance to remake America's medical system.

If every a wonderful wiz, there was, it must be insurance-company campaign donations.

30 October 2009

Knives Live TV

So I'm sitting here fixated on Knives Live TV with Tony Watkins and Steve Koontz. I would venture to guess one, if not both, have cut human flesh. Tony would be like a George "the Animal" Steel (or is it Steele?). Steve would be like the creepy dude at Vader's side in the opening minutes of Star Wars. Oh, so, check these blades out.

"The days of this material being available, I've gotta say, are extremely numbered, ladies and gentlemen, at this kind of value so git in here, git on the line, ring that phone," Tony says.
I gotta run, though: they're talking about amendments to switchblade law. It sounds like something miraculous happened: You can own all the thumb-assisted open tactical knives you want "no questions asked."
My country tis of thee.

Taking after Gossip Girl

Remember that scene a week or two ago when Chuck Bass kissed a boy (and he liked it)? Looks as if Kade is following in his footsteps. To wit:

Cowboy up, Artie.

Matt "Mr. October" Stairs

Ryan Howard may have gotten the S.I. cover, but the gun who thinks there's no better feeling than to get your ass hammered by the guys in the dugout had the most prescient quote, what with being responsible for the lone (two-out) RBI last night. To wit:
"I realize teams want to build around speed and defense these days, but the best way to score is still to put a couple of guys on base and have somebody come up and hit one out. That's how the game is supposed to be played."

Personally, I don't care what wins three of the next five games for the Phils. I just care that three of the next five get won.

29 October 2009

Jerry Penacoli, you sassy b*tch

To wit:
JACKSONVILLE BEACH, Fla. - It's one thing for shoplifters to hide plunder in their pants. But a live ferret?
Police say a homeless man in north Florida did just that. And he made it out the door before being challenged.

FYI re: Gerbil thing.

Pa pa pa poker face pa pa pa poker face ma ma ma

Here's Cartman singing that Dude Gaga song. Balls ass, hot ass funny.
Here's the redux of Cartman's take on that Dude Gaga song.

Under the Knife

Charlie Dawg had surgery today. Three growths on her head, and one on her leg, removed. They say they're benign. Twas great to hear. But she's home and resting up. I just hope the histrionics that are certain to accompany a night watching Pedro pitch to the Yankoffs don't get her all wound up.

The Untold Story

So, the New York Post website has a Yankees babes vs. Phillies babes photo gallery. Might I draw your attention to Andy Pettitte and his lovely bride, Laura ...

And Mark Teixeira's lovely bride, Leigh...

And Hideki Matsui's lovely bride, um, Paper...

And, in closing, Mrs. Cole Hamels...

*Oh, it's no contest: Paper is the hottest on the Yankee side. Growl.

Changing of the Guard

As I announced on Facebook last eve (or was it this morn?), the title of White Jesus has been removed from Tom Brady's mantle (or is it mantel?) and bestowed upon Mr. Cliff Lee. I think we can all agree that it's the right thing to do, at the right time.

28 October 2009

The Prediction

Yankees win Games 1 and 2.
Phillies win Games 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Broad Street Parade, Nov. 6.

What's amusing is that a Post hack considers him/her/itself better than a soul on Earth

Just remember, when you read about the New York Post doctoring photos of Shane Victorino:
Here's a letter to the New York Post
The worst piece of paper on the east coast
Matter of fact the whole state's forty cents
in New York City fifty cents elsewhere
It makes no goddamn sense at all
America's oldest continuously published daily piece of bullshit

Do I post it? Don't I post it? Ah, what the hell... *Offensive image alert*

So, an old pal just sent over a Yankee-centric photoshopped image that he won't touch with a 10-foot towel. It is offensive. That's putting it mildly. But then again, I guess I'm not wary of offending. I mean, this is a not-for-profit blog. And, I'm from Philly. And, well, I've made no bones about hating all that A-Rod stands for. But, what he kneels for? Well, that's a perfect segue into the image. Just brace yourself, or don't allow your eyes to drift beyond this punctuation mark.
Final warning...

Um, nothing gold shall stay, Alex?

As promised yesterday ...

Today's Metro column ...
If you have an inferiority complex to NYC, you’re a simpleton. Indisputable fact: Their city’s bigger. But if you think any Yankees fans worth their mental salt aren’t jealous of the current-day Phillies organization, you’re delusional.

... and today's Philadelphia Weekly cover story ...
If it’s even possible to put into words what happens when you’re painted as the shady drifter who choked four Atlantic City hookers to death and lined their heads up in a particular order, Oleson is willing to do it.
“I have nothing to hide,” says the never-charged, No. 1 person of interest in the case. “But as far as I can tell, this story doesn’t end well. My life’s done.”

27 October 2009

This week's Metro Column (and story in the Philadelphia Weekly) ...

Be sure to grab both papers if you's in town. The Metro column touches on how I'd like A-Roid to be treated when he arrives in town; the Weekly story touches on how I'd like to see innocent people treated by the system, media and fellow man. (I'll post links when they're posted.)
Now, back to Wii Gold's Gym Cardio to an instrumental song from some breakin' move that wowed theatre-goes in better times.

I don't know how best to say it ...

... so I'll just say it like this:
There was a marriage proposal on Divorce Court today.

25 October 2009

Two Songs I Recently Downloaded (Guilty Pleasures Edition)

1. "She Wolf," Shakira. Reason one: I already have two of her CDs. Reason two: Because she's a talented artist, si?

2. "I Can't Hold Back," Survivor. Reason one: I had not a Survivor song on my iPod. Reason two: Fine, I watched Paul Blart Mall Cop last night. Hearing it was the only redeeming quality of the Movie 101 class project. Reason three: Check. Out. The. F'in. Video.

Weekend Reading Roundup (Scantron Edition)

Question 1:

Which story more closely follows the pattern of society evolution or devolution?
a) That a movie about "the harrowing story of a 350-pound illiterate teenage girl who is pregnant for the second time by her father and horribly abused by her mother" is not only made, but could be widely appreciated?
b) That Flyers' captains are still bad-ass enough to knock foes the f*ck out with shoulder-to-jaw hits?
Or c) That I'm left to wonder whether many will mourn Domingo Ferreira post-suicide or will consider it a just end?

Question 2:

Who's more on par with Glenn "Teabagged" Beck?
a) The Inky columnist who inked what appears to be tired, Chris Christie campaign literature?
Or b) The New York Times writer who recycled long-known and long-ago-reported info about Atlantic City, and couldn't even get that some of the competitive slots were going to be "in" not "near" Philadelphia. (Shame she didn't delve into how the anti-casino folks in the 215 were imported by AC-interests, but that's another post for a day soon-to-come.)

Question 3:

What would be better?
a) If you had to live in NYC, living at the place in that picture right above these words?
Or b) If you had to live in LA, living in an LA that continues to protect cannabis clubs against values-voters-driven pols?

24 October 2009

And the prize for best reality-TV criminal story goes to ...

... Big Brother 9 Winner Adam Jasinski for his role in, "Taking a $500,000 Prize for Winning the Game and Getting into the Oxycontin Buying, Selling and (Probably) Popping Business!"
Congrats, Adam!

Hey, hit-and-run driver from Collingswood or HT...

... You catch the news today? About how, two years after a dirtbag did the same thing you did at Atlantic and Linden 11 months ago, he's heading to jail? I'm sure you did. Because you realize things aren't going to end any better for you. (As a side note: I hope you read the end of the Philly Mag piece.) If I might offer a suggestion: You may want to let your close friends (and/or parents) know that you'll disown them if they choose the $10K reward over your future. Because, as this story clearly points out, that'll probably happen.
Davis' determination to find her son's killer - the late-night calls to police, the money she spent on fliers and a billboard, and the hundreds of hours she spent searching for dented cars and copying license plates - paid off when a tipster spotted the billboard and called police, claiming she knew the suspect's girlfriend.
"People used to say to me, 'Why don't you stop all this; it's never going to bring him back,' but I could never give up and let the grief take over," said the former Verizon employee. "I knew he was out there somewhere."
"Somewhere" turned out to be Franklin Township, Gloucester County, where authorities say 22-year-old Joseph Bozzelli had been living with his guilt for two years - and possibly destroying the evidence - before his girlfriend gave a statement that tied him to the accident.

In any event, looking forward to making your acquaintance, you godless punk.

A pop-culture alert

The Ritz Five in Philly was shouted out on Melrose Place. That is all.

In unrelated news, NAMBLA endorses Michael Jackson, Dog Catchers of America endorse Michael Vick ...

... and -- drum roll please -- the N.J. Restaurant Association endorses Chris Christie for governor!
"The New Jersey Restaurant Association is endorsing Chris Christie for Governor because his record of achievement as US Attorney proves he can get the job done. He is committed to making New Jersey a competitive, affordable place to live, work and create jobs," it was announced today by Deborah Dowell, President, New Jersey Restaurant Association.
"Plus, the guy is just a house when it comes to ordering fourths, fifths and even sixths."

Ok, fine I made that last part up. He doesn't order a sixth lunch.
Unless he's at Sizzler.

23 October 2009

Jack Baxter ...

... clearly has too much time on his hands. Seen here, with bag over his head.

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The Problem with Gingers

I think they're summed up, rather eloquently, by the video of a ginger who seems to be a big fan of the Georgia Bulldogs. That, and stitching up his lady-flesh suit down in the under parts of his house. (H/T Tosh.0.)

It really shines when the white's on the face.
Go Dawgs.

The Obamas, by Annie Leibovitz

Hey Yankees fans...

... Remember me? ...

Sure you do. Well, get ready to face 25 Luis Gonzalez's.
If you can get past the Angels, that is.


Oh, you say you want further evidence that hit-and-run victims are treated with no respect whatsoever? How about this ...
A Franklinville man who drove off after hitting and fatally injuring a pedestrian was sentenced to three years in prison this morning after the victim's mother wept and asked how he could have left her son to die like that.

Sickening. Just sickening. It's long past time to make leaving someone to die in the street worth more than a friggin' parking ticket.
I guess I'll take solace in the fact that Joseph Bozzelli will burn in hellfire for eternity.

Three New Divorce Court Posts!

1. Feels like a carnie gangbang.
2. Involves a purebred P.I.M.P.
3. Was a Holy War of sorts.

Lo siento, amigos y amigas

Hey all, it's good to be back. I just flew in from writing a pair of long pieces, and man are my fingertips tired.
Gotta grab a bus downtown in a few, for a few, but I figured it'd be kind to share a few impressions I've made while distracted from reality the past few days.
Like this, from South Park, Co., where the locals were concerned that der tekin' er jerbs ...

Or here, at Paddy's Pub, where I left wondering whether there really is a tunnel that runs from the 'Oliday Inn to the stadium, or whether that tunnel would actually lead to the parking lot where the Vet was ...

Or here, where I left wondering whether it might actually be good to have a tunnel leading away from Mayfair. In any direction...

Coming later today: A slew of DVRd Divorce Court updates!

22 October 2009

You should ...

... read this story.

21 October 2009

Phillies Beisbol

From Jayson Stark's piece:

Jonathan Broxton's theoretically unhittable smokeball came roaring toward home plate at 98.8 miles per hour. Jimmy Rollins' bat flashed.

And as that bat met that baseball, everything you thought you knew about this National League Championship Series was about to become instantly defunct.

It all changed the moment that baseball began floating toward that patch of grass in distant right-center field where no one in a Dodgers cap was going to catch it.

It all changed as the two most unlikely track stars in town, Eric Bruntlett and Carlos Ruiz, began pumping around the bases.

It all changed as Rollins sprinted around first, stomped on the second-base bag and shook his fist till the mob scene engulfed him.

It all unfolded in a matter of seconds. But once the meaning of it all sank in, you began to realize what you'd just witnessed:

Namely, an October baseball game that is going to be talked about for the rest of our lifetimes.

Dirty Politics

So, I just happened to watch Action News at noon and saw this commercial on there, typical "dirty politics at election time" fare. Well, on this one, I had to say something. It seems that "Albano and Milam," whomever the hell they are, have hopped on the "hey, he's a Republican so he can't have a single redeeming quality" bandwagon. Well, I know Michael Donohue. Used to work with his wife. Covered a couple cases in which he was involved.
Even though we disagree on Big Sloppy Christie's suitability for governor, and on a few other issues, he's good people. I don't care if he comes down philosophically different than I do, he'd be a damn good, hard-working state senator for Cape and portions of Atlantic counties.
If you live there, I'll vouch for him.
He's a good guy, dedicated to community, strives to do the right thing.
So, that explains why I took the liberty of presenting Albano and Milam's ad as it should accurately be presented.

20 October 2009

Balloon Boy Brawl!

19 October 2009

Hickey 7, Foes 0

Phillies - Check
Broncos - Check
Yankees lose - Check
Chooch with the winning run - Check
Three fantasy football wins - Check Check Check

Caption Contest

MALACHI! He wants you, too, Malachi. ... He wants you, too.

Off my TV, from the second inning of Phillies v. Dodgers, after Daddy caught a foul ball, first rows, leftfield line.

The Week that Will Be

This serves as notification that, until I'm done writing the story I'm writing (more about that later), the blog posts shall cease. So, come on back Thursday or Friday. Or, just hit the Divorce Court blog; I'll update that upon watching the episodes.
In the meantime, enjoy CBS3's Yellow Sun Ball ...

18 October 2009

Weekend Reading Roundup (With Tool Academy on in the Background Edition)

As I type, Stew, aka the Hillbilly Tool, just got his Trust badge. Which is commendable, to say the least. Yeah, I chose to watch Tool Academy than the first half of the 1 p.m. games. I'm OK with that. (FWIW: Guyliner Tool got thrown out. And his girl left him. He's just a tool.)
Here's the weekend goods ...
-- A Times magazine piece that's about a company, but made me ponder whether artistic tastes can be understood via formula.
Others, of course, are not impressed by the genome’s results. Someone passed along to me a harsh assessment by Bob Lefsetz, whose popular Lefsetz Letter critiques pretty much every aspect of the contemporary music business. “I tried and rejected it,” he wrote. “Was flummoxed when a Jackson Browne station I created delivered a Journey song. Huh? . . . Jackson is music for the mind, Journey is music for the MINDLESS!”

-- A cosmic concurrence: All five front-page Inquirer stories are good stuff.
1. People don't want to touch other people anymore.
2. C'mon, did anybody think Balloon Boy wasn't going to be the new American court reali-drama?
3. Oh, so the stimulus is actually starting to show tangible success? Oh, it's leaving traffic snarled everywhere?
4. Geisinger Health System is either a health-care outlier, anomaly or somewhere in between.
and 5. West Philly High Principal Saliyah Cruz: Successes where nobody thought possible.

-- A quote encapsulating this sell-out culture, in a story about someone who was troubled by being perceived as accepting a sell-out culture because ...
"...those barrels he took cost us exactly $346, and we got tens of thousands of dollars in free publicity. I'd have to say it worked out pretty well."

16 October 2009

"Poor pussy, poor pussycat." -- R. Said Fred, 1992

I couldn't find a photo of Cole "6.75 ERA" Hamels throwing a snit when Chase Utley threw into the dugout rather than to the Big Piece last night. The closest I could find was me and Bride Hickey's cats from five minutes ago. Enjoy.
(Oh, and Cole: Knock the bitching the eff off. It's unbecoming.)

15 October 2009

What's that you say ...

... that there's another excellently produced video on Oh, I concur.

14 October 2009

Only the good die with rubberbands in their beards

RIP, Capt. Lou Albano. Say hi to JYD for me.

A Sepia Charlie Dawg Shot

Hey look, Kade took a post from here and edited it down for his delusional needs

You be the judge. Here's someone's account of seeing Little Lord Fauntleroy with cameras in tow, that I posted here.

camera crews were following him and GN Kang (it's kang, right?) the lingerie football chick. i believe she's on the radio with Chio or something. one of those Q102 morning shits. she was dressed in her fucking uniform, sans shoulder pads, plus that black under eye football stuff. you know the swipe....

we first thought it was jon minus kate because of the hoopla and camera, but we all freaked the fuck out when we realized it was kade. so much so that the camera guy said, "wow, i can't believe we missed that shot." dear lord. totally star struck + spaztastic + we are awesomely immature 25 year olds.

K and his gang took shots at the bar with some 9s and then the camera crews talked to people who had something to say about Arthur. their queston was "what do you think about arthur kade?"

verbal vomit. i may cry if i end up on television. i may have to go to therapy because i'm ACTUALLY obsessed. he walked by us later and i couldn't even be cool and be like "yo arthur, rank me on the kade scale." i'm also PISSED AS HELL that i didnt think to end my verbal vomit with a "kade out!" i clearly suc as a stalking fan.

dear god. i need a drink just thinking about this.

anyway, other bits:
the producers as IMG Productions, Inc. and the legalese reads "in connection with a demo tape of the program currently entitled 'Arthur Kade'..." and the release comes from NY state.

since it sas "demo tape," i'm assuming they are filming some sort of pilot episode to pitch to people?

also, no idea who IMG Productions or who the parent company is.

anyway, thats enough embarrassment for the day,


And, here's how he cut out all the stuff about GN Kang, his Gosselin mentor and the waivers that people had to sign.
“We first thought it was jon minus kate because of the hoopla and camera, but we all freaked the fuck out when we realized it was kade. so much so that the camera guy said, “wow, i can’t believe we missed that shot.” dear lord. totally star struck + spaztastic + we are awesomely immature 25 year olds.

K and his gang took shots at the bar with some 9s and then the camera crews talked to people who had something to say about Arthur. their queston was “what do you think about arthur kade?”

verbal vomit. i may cry if i end up on television. i may have to go to therapy because i’m ACTUALLY obsessed. he walked by us later and i couldn’t even be cool and be like “yo arthur, rank me on the kade scale.” i’m also PISSED AS HELL that i didnt think to end my verbal vomit with a “kade out!” i clearly suc as a stalking fan.

dear god. i need a drink just thinking about this.”

Listen, I'm proud that he didn't mention where he got it from or link to it. To be associated with that Michael Hutchence in the making would be worse than getting hit by a car. But, just thought I should share evidence of the alternate reality. So, Arthur's "friend" who sent this to him? I'd feel a lot better about blogging if you stopped reading it.

Midweek Reading Roundup

Sometime, you come across a story so, well, dumb that you have to share ...
Airport screening technology has turned to an unusual accessory -- the Nintendo Wii balance board -- to identify fidgety, nervous passengers who might have explosives or illegal items concealed on their persons. Or they could have had a long day and just don't want to stand still.
The Wii balance board is part of a $20 million Homeland Security-funded project called Future Attribute Screening Technology (FAST). Researchers hope that using sensors to detect passenger heart rate, breathing, shifty eyes, body temperature and yes, fidgeting, could help security figure out who might have something to hide.

Twenty million dollar project? Using Wii balance boards to stop terrorism? Man oh man.
But what pisses me off more? Popular Science doesn't have this month's issue online yet so I could share the answer to the age-old question:
Tyrannosaurus rex had puny arms. Could a human beat one in an arm-wrestling match? -- Lucas Saladin, via e-mail.

Short answer shorter: Lincoln Hawk wouldn't have stood a chance.
As for Vanity Fair, well, yeah, they had stories about Murdoch vs. Internet, reconsidering Rockwell and an ironically timed convo with Paul Shaffer. But, what caught my attention were the Penelope Cruz photos. Even this one from 1998 on the peneloslideshow...

That will be all for today.

Further evidence that the Debil is running the show

I've seen a jumper's teeth scattered about 20 feet from where the rest of the body was.
Smelled a floater after authorities pulled it from the S.C. river where it'd been bloating/floating for a couple weeks.
And, among many other things, I've seen blood oozing from a head that had been smashed by a brick. Such are the experiences of being a crime reporter.

All of which is to say it's all the more remarkable that it took this video of Kade and his abortion-offerin' father to really, you know, skeeve me out.

In conclusion, might I draw your attention to an interview with Colin Shearn of The Franklin (have never been there, and never would have been there, but now I insist on giving the place some of my money on, you know, moral and ethical grounds) on which states ...
Q: Your worst customer in five words or less
A: Arthur Kade. Seriously, he is everything that's wrong with this city.

Now it places the lotion in the basket.

13 October 2009

Oh, Jame

My Morning, Pt. II

Another day, another splendidly produced business show!

Negative Reinforcement

When I saw Dexter Fowler hurdle Chase Utley last night ...

... the Cubs fan in me immediately said, "Game, and season, over." Saw it as a fluke play that would snowball into eight Rockies runs ala the Marlins in '03 post-Bartman.
Praise Jebus the Phils ain't the Cubbies.

12 October 2009

Prognostications Update

Well, so far, I'm 2 and 3 (well, 2 and 2.2 really)
Detroit vs Minnesota (Tigers 4-2) WRONG
Detroit vs. Yankees (Detroit 3-2) WRONG
Angels vs. Sox (Angels 3-1) RIGHT
St. Louis vs. Dodgers (Cards 3-0) WRONG
Philly vs. Colorado (Philly 3-2) RIGHT

Still have the possible winners of the Championship Series'.
Angels 4-2 (Over Yankees, not Detroit)
Phillies 4-3 (Over LA, not StL.)

And with those pics I shall stick. But, I reserve the right to flip my Angels World Series pick.

Knock, knock, who's there? (NSFW)

(H/T Tiddie)

Country on the cusp of North Philly

As promised, here's my review of the Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses show last Wednesday. If you haven't heard him, do.

My Morning

I invite you to observe the exquisite production value of this video:

The Kade Show?

What I first noticed as a random Twitter post has now risen to the level of concern. It seems that behemedoucheth Arthur Kade and his representation have taken to the streets of Center City -- specifithcally Rittenhouth Square. It seems as ifth they're putting together a pilot. A pilot with absolutely zero redeeming qualitiesth.
Here's what a witness described as the scene at G Lounge ...

camera crews were following him and GN Kang (it's kang, right?) the lingerie football chick. i believe she's on the radio with Chio or something. one of those Q102 morning shits. she was dressed in her fucking uniform, sans shoulder pads, plus that black under eye football stuff. you know the swipe....

(Photo from HughE Dillon's site)

we first thought it was jon minus kate because of the hoopla and camera, but we all freaked the fuck out when we realized it was kade. so much so that the camera guy said, "wow, i can't believe we missed that shot." dear lord. totally star struck + spaztastic + we are awesomely immature 25 year olds.

K and his gang took shots at the bar with some 9s and then the camera crews talked to people who had something to say about Arthur. their queston was "what do you think about arthur kade?"

verbal vomit. i may cry if i end up on television. i may have to go to therapy because i'm ACTUALLY obsessed. he walked by us later and i couldn't even be cool and be like "yo arthur, rank me on the kade scale." i'm also PISSED AS HELL that i didnt think to end my verbal vomit with a "kade out!" i clearly suc as a stalking fan.

dear god. i need a drink just thinking about this.

anyway, other bits:
the producers as IMG Productions, Inc. and the legalese reads "in connection with a demo tape of the program currently entitled 'Arthur Kade'..." and the release comes from NY state.

since it sas "demo tape," i'm assuming they are filming some sort of pilot episode to pitch to people?

also, no idea who IMG Productions or who the parent company is.

anyway, thats enough embarrassment for the day,


Good work on the recap, MB! And bad work on the degradation of Philadelphia, IMG. You should/will be ashamed of yourselves.

Denver Broncos Football Rules

Yes, I was uncomfortable -- and wielding hatred -- when Josh McDaniels threw Cutler out of town and almost did the same to Brandon Marshall. I apologize, Josh.

11 October 2009

Weekend Reading Roundup (Not Even Time For Complete Sentences Edition)

Jayson Werth good.

Losta subscriptions making the world go round (financially).

An H. Ross factor in the NJ gov's race?


Iago on every scene?

Beck not as crayzee as we think?

The Big Brother Gene Robinson payback.

Both guns and people who carry guns kill both people who do and people who don't carry guns.

10 October 2009

And women may no longer have the right to vote ...

Oh look, Gilbert Grape's dad is trying to placate family-values/ignorant voters of a state that I'd just written was more morally mature than Pennsylvania ...
Republican Christopher J. Christie said that if is elected New Jersey governor next month, he would do all he could to block the state from allowing gay marriage.

Good move, Mr. Grape (Mrs. Grape pictured).
I think a state that voted 57-42 percent for Obama is just yearning to turn back the clock on social issues.
Just when you thought he'd buried Corzine...

To Catch a Vandal

So, let me see if I have this right: An anti-casino group hoots, hollers and generally acts like angry-at-ma-and-pa teens protesting curfew when the Sugarhouse breaks ground at its site on Thursday.

At 6:30 a.m. Friday, according to the Daily News' Chris Brennan, "hydraulic lines [were discovered] slashed on a bulldozer, crane, back hoe and dump truck" at the site.

But the group says, "We were not involved with this incident in any way."

Which kind of contradicts the 2008 "Not only will we break the law but we will do (so) repeatedly" quote from one of the group's leaders.

My immediate thought: This whole denial kind of reminds me of a "To Catch a Predator" episode where a dude carrying wine coolers and Trojans tries to spin Chris Hansen on the fact that he was only there to talk to the girl, to protect her from danger when, in reality, the stigma of being saddled with a child sex-abuse charge scares the bejesus out of him.

Or, they're just compulsive liars imported from out-of-state to defend other people's interests.

09 October 2009

Bittersweet Symphony

It's great that Tosh.0 is back on.
It's not great that I laughed so very profusely at this:

Tosh.0Thursdays at 10pm / 9c
Horse Ride Breakdown
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture

But I hereby disown these fellows as Jersey ...
Tosh.0Thursdays at 10pm / 9c
Jersey Guys
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture

"It's like looking into a mirror after doing a ton of coke off of it."

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bend It Like Beck
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorMichael Moore

Final Jeopardy

I'll Take "Add some Oxycontin and the Miss America Pageant will turn into Pat O'Brien's kinkiest, dirtiest fantasy" for $1,000, Alex ...

LAS VEGAS - The Miss America Organization says Rush Limbaugh will be a judge for the 2010 pageant in Las Vegas.

As a side note, I want to place a bet on every pale white chick in the field.

My New Show

So, yeah, you can be expecting regular updates about it.
New Divorce Court post up, too!

07 October 2009

My "Blue State, Red State. Smart State, Dumb State" Theory Scientifically Verified

So, a brain-health national evaluation was conducted by researchers at something called Martek Biosciences Corp., that analyzed third-party data on the diet, physical health, mental health and social well being of the residents of each state.
The top 10 brain areas?
Washington, D.C., Maryland, Washington state, Vermont, Connecticut, Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Maine, New Hampshire.

The bottom 10?
Indiana, North Dakota, South Carolina, Arkansas, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Oklahoma and, dead last, Louisiana.

In case you're counting, that would translate into 10 of the 10 smart states voted for Obama, opposed to just one of the 10 dumb ones. You read that right. I think I speak for all of the sane people when I say, You can shut the f*ck up with your ranting now, 9/12ers, birthers and Glenn Beck.
You're just not as smart as us. Fact.

A whole lotta Divorce Court updates ...

... have gone up lately. Read them. Know them. (Don't) live them.

Today's Metro Column...

...includes the passage:
That could’ve been Philadelphia’s rep on the line in Copenhagen. If OlymPhila 2016 (or 2024) hadn’t fizzled, we’d have probably sent the Bidens and Jennaphr Frederick to sell our fine hamlet. That wouldn’t have worked out well for anybody.

No, it most certainly would NOT have.

06 October 2009

Tomorrow's Metro Column is about ...

(Image from

Getcha predictions here! [Um, yeah, substitute Twins for Detroit]

With the Detroit/Minnesota play in about to begin, might as well come correct with some predictions on the baseball playoffs. AL, NL, then WS style:

Play-in game:
Detroit vs Minnesota (Tigers 4-2)

Detroit vs. Yankees (Detroit 3-2) Yanks just don't have the pitchin to match their hittin.
Angels vs. Sox (Angels 3-1) Do it for Nick-y.

Detroit vs. Angels (Angels 4-2) In the battle of civic redemption vs. personal mission, personal mission always wins. Especially with a lineup as potent as L.A.'s.

St. Louis vs. Dodgers (Cards 3-0) Pitching, pitching, hitting.
Philly vs. Colorado (Philly 3-2) A home split. An away split. A nerve-wracking Lidge save.

St. Louis vs. Philly (Philly 4-3) Er-body talkin' 'bout the Cards pitchers. As well they should. But, the Phils got big, battle-tested bats. And Game Seven'll be here.

World Series:

And here where local luck runs out. Angels 4-3. Because the Angels have big bats, too. And, sorry folks, the bullpen may have 10 bits of ammo left, but it won't close out an 11th playoff victory.

Reveling in Romo's ineptitude

And I quote (as I guffaw):
Video shot by FOX 4 photographer Larry Rodriguez seems to show a confused Cowboys quarterback during a crucial moment. (This video will be posted only a short time online due to NFL regulations.)
During the final seconds of the game, Romo motions his linemen to get ready for the next play, then holds up three fingers, as if he thought the team had just completed the third down play.
But when he learns that the previous play was actually the fourth -- and last -- chance for the Cowboys, Romo reacts with a curse.

A.C. is dead, long live A.C.

There are two reasons why I haven't waded into the casino-debate since my backyard was cleared of the potential Trump jawn.
1. The anti-casino group is led by imported douchery.
2. The casinos will take money away from an established gambling city that I love, that being A.C.; plus, gambling itself is a diversion against which I hold no moral grudge.
But this whole Mike O'Brien/Larry Farnese attached to community groups thing caught my eye as interesting. Since most posts about it are of the standard "government doesn't care 'bout us" variety, I figure what the hell, lemme share the release that just arrived from Farnese's office. Think with it what you will.

More than two weeks ago, members of the Budget Conference Committee announced they had reached a budget deal. That agreement included a provision to authorize table games such as blackjack, poker, and roulette at Pennsylvania's slots parlors.

Since then, I have stood by my pledge to reform gaming and urged lawmakers not to mix the table games issue with Senate Bill 711 - a bill I cosponsored, which makes sweeping reforms to gaming and its regulatory body, the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board. This gaming reform legislation passed the Senate in July.

Friday, however, the House Gaming Oversight Committee suspended its rules, to amend S.B. 711 with a provision to authorize table games - a move I believe defeats the entire purpose of the gaming reform legislation. A reform bill should not be used as a vehicle to expand the very thing it is trying to reform.

Over the weekend, the House of Representatives began considering additional amendments to S.B. 711, which has now been dubbed "the Table Games bill" - as though reform were never even part of the legislation. More than 150 additional amendments were proposed after Friday's Gaming Oversight Committee hearing.

One amendment that passed the House Sunday, would require casinos with a table games certificate to pay an additional tax on gross revenues from table games, which would benefit the neighborhoods in the immediate vicinity of casinos.

I’ve never believed that casinos were the best way to raise money for the state, but casinos now exist in Pennsylvania. If casinos are coming to Philadelphia and will be expanded to include table games, then the casinos should pay their fair share to mitigate the impact on the surrounding communities. There also needs to be a mechanism in place to ensure that the money reaches those specific neighborhoods in the immediate vicinity of the casino.

That mechanism should be open, transparent, and subject to the highest standards of ethical conduct. The Ethics Act, Right-to-Know-Law, and Adverse Interest Act should apply. Plus, legislators should not hold the lion's share of control.

Right now, there are almost a dozen special service districts in Philadelphia, with taxing authority or their own source of funding. Five are in my legislative district alone. They provide critical services to many neighborhoods - and operate independent of city government. These districts are just one example of a structure that could be established to address the needs of targeted communities.

As the General Assembly continues to consider the issue of gaming and gaming reform, I will continue to advocate for the much-needed reform provisions contained in S.B. 711. I hope the Senate can improve on Senate Bill 711 by creating an open and transparent process to direct aid to those communities most affected by casinos.


05 October 2009

Real men of genius: Steel Panther (Not safe for work!)

Um, wow, hair metal hasn't been this eloquent for a decade or two. Keepin' glam real.

Public Service Announcement

My man Rick Ford from the Strawberry Mansion All-Stars baseball league passed this along to me. I pass it along to you.

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