Weekend Reading Roundup (No Scantron Needed Edition)
1. Which sport is classier?
a) Soccer ...
The Clarets, as Burnley is known because of the club color, did not crow when they beat Manchester United two weeks ago, and the coach and players did not hide when they were overwhelmed at Chelsea. The season is long, and if they are to survive in this league, they know that their only hope is to accept the beatings, regroup and play the next match as if it were a new beginning.
or b) Baseball ...
A series of events on the field led several players to believe that the star shortstop Miguel Tejada had been helping friends on opposing teams by tipping off pitches and by allowing balls they hit to get past him occasionally during games with lopsided scores.
2. Who's a bigger dirtbag?
a) Vinnie "Pill-Popping Thief" Fumo ...
Controlling? Fumo hired a taxpayer-paid private eye to snoop on a former girlfriend, his ex-wife, and his political opponents.
"He was the ultimate control freak," investigator Frank Wallace testified during the five-month trial.
Fumo demanded that a particular brand of hair spray, Sebastian, be shipped to him. He kept sets of the same clothes - khaki pants, blue shirts - in the closets of his homes, testimony showed.
The good news for Fumo: He'll still get to wear khaki, because it's the color of the uniform worn by federal inmates.
The bad news: As a newcomer, he'll hold a low slot in the prison pecking order.
or b) Dick "Vice-Chief Shootsfriendsinfaces" Cheney ...
Cheney, who strongly opposes the Obama administration's new probe into alleged detainee abuse, was asked in the Fox News interview whether he was "OK" with interrogations that went beyond Justice's specific legal authorization.
"I am," Cheney replied.
3. What's less surprising?
a) That Sen. Mushmouth (I-Conn.) is trying to slow healthcare reform down as if uninsured people have magically stopped dying ...
"There is no reason we have to do it all now, but we do have to get it started," Sen. Joe Lieberman (I., Conn.), who is generally supportive of Obama, said in a recent television interview. "I'm afraid we've got to think about putting a lot of that off until the economy's out of recession."
or b) That nobody's figured out what quite to do with Big Pharma's 11-figure big blind ...
Under the agreement reached with the White House, pharmaceutical companies would reduce prices of brand-name drugs 50 percent to those in the "doughnut hole."
It is not clear yet where the rest of the $80 billion would go.
4. What's more surprising?
a) That England pulled the plug on Big Brother?
or b) That Jeff and Jordan will soon be broken apart on America's Big Brother?
And, 5. Who's got the better ads?
or b) PC.