Some hit-and-run drivers actually have a conscience
When I sat down to write my Philly Mag piece about almost dying -- dubbed "one of the best stories you'll read all year" by a certain Deadspin site that's caught flak for linking to the virtual spot that heroically ran the Erin Andrews peep-hole nudie show -- it didn't take me long to create the paragraphs explaining what I would do to the driver if I was fortunate enough to catch them before the police inevitably do...
I’ll string him up by his balls. Then, after kicking every last one of his teeth into the street, I’ll ask him how he’ll run away from assault charges now. I’ll close with spitting in his fucking face as he cries, “Why did you do this to me?”
If the driver's a young "lady," as one psychic emailed to tell me it was (and that her dirtbag parents are covering up for her), replace "balls" with pinkie toes and the rest is the same. I'm not a gender-specific vengeance seeker.
The tough part of it all? All my energy could have been channeled toward good had the driver just done what Lemuel Payne did.
From Tuesday's Inquirer:
The moment that Kimberly and Michael Ferrell had been waiting for arrived yesterday at the Delaware County Courthouse. The man who had pleaded guilty in the hit-and-run death of their 16-year-old daughter was to be sentenced.
So Kimberly Ferrell did what she had long planned to do in front of a courtroom full of teary-eyed family and friends.
She turned to the man in the blue prisoner's uniform, looked him in the eye, and said, "Mr. Payne, I forgive you."
Takes a big heart to do what Kimberly did. I'll have to check my medical reports to determine whether mine has the potential to forgive a coward who hasn't fessed up going on eight months now.