Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

23 June 2009

The Kade Pledge

Do you, Brian Hickey, solemly swear that you will not comment about, or post links to, anything Arthur-related until he absolutely humiliates his-couchliving-self -- and Philadelphia as a whole -- during his four-day Los Angeles stay?
I so solemnly swear.
But only after sharing this:

While I've already notified a photog-friend of mine that His Royal Douchinence will arrive soon, I hope, pray and hope-and-pray that Artie's cackling sidekick, let's call him Yogurt Boy, will record it all for posterity. Or, that this is the week that he comes clean about either 1) having homosexual yearnings or 2) that this has all been a ruse aimed at landing him on Paris Hilton's New BFF or Big Brother 12.
Either/or, Artie. Either/or is just fine to mine eyes.
Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to go and bleach those eyes I just mentioned out in the hope that Almost Famous hasn't been ruined forever for me.
In the meantime, a photo for you all to savor:


Blogger Robert said...

It's a promo for a new movie, Kumar and Douche Nose go to Atlantic City.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Robert, I think Kade might have been outdouched in that shot, no? I mean suit jacket, tongue ring, (probably a) Yankees hat and what looks like a well-practiced hand sign?
Sure, Artie's rocking a wetsuit top, that says "Turbo," in the summer no less, but each time I look that these two together, Artie fares as well as he has in any other pic on the site.
Maybe that half-Vicodin just totally fucked with my head, though.

12:24 PM  
Anonymous ChihuahuaMom said...

Dontcha' think the whole scene, with him screaming "I'm on drugs" is just about as obvious as Meth Gay Man?

1:26 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

I'd actually like to see his interpretation of Meth Gay Man. Is that wrong?

1:28 PM  
Anonymous ChihuahuaMom said...

I would LOVE to see that one. Although we may have gotten a preview with his coked out "Domination" clip.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

He was in a weird place there. Not quite off the white pony yet, and not all-the-way down. A true dominator would have chopped one last line up on the fucking diner table, so as not to seem all wrung and desperate.
But oh no, not Artie. He figured people wouldn't notice his nostrils screaming for more of that candy.
I can't WAIT to write the story of how he: 1) cashed out of a business that he was actually good at and 2) pissed all of the money either up his nose or to get into bottle-service bars that loathed him other than the free plug he gave them on the website he can no longer afford to maintain.
That will be my crowning journalistic achievement.

2:03 PM  

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