Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

30 June 2009

The Chronicles of Douchebagia

As promised, Richard M. Sarkisian's letter, which pretty much blames me for getting hit-and-ran. If I may address only Richard M. Sarkisian, of Sicklerville (and the illustrious Camden County Community College), for a moment:

Talking Back
The only way somebody could know what I looked like while walking on the street that night is if they ran me over and took off. So, feel free to take the claims that you "felt very badly for" me and wish me "nothing but the best," and shove them back down your arrogant throat, Dick.
Brian Hickey

P.S. The iPod battery died hours beforehand, and I didn't realize I was responsible for lighting the streets that I walked upon rather than recklessly driving drunk, which I probably should have in retrospect. Now, feel free to get your busy lil brain working on a counter-argument since you clearly don't know what the fuck you're talking about.


Blogger Amy Williams said...

Amen Brian. People are so fucking stupid sometimes that it blows my mind.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People are assholes.
I can't argue with stupid...because when you argue with stupid, well, whose the stupid one?
And so, having deleted my argument, here is my more fair and balanced response:
Go fuck yourself, Richard.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This guy's got to be fucking kidding me!!!!!!
Regardless of what "Mr. Hickey" did or did not do the fucking coward took off. This guy better hope nothing ever happens to him,
carma has a way of taking care of only good people.

5:50 PM  
Anonymous ChihuahuaMom said...

I don't care if you were lying in the middle of the street, drunk, high, blindfolded, wearing ear plugs and a sensory deprivation helmet, on a moonless night with all of the street lights broken. It is wrong to hit a human being with your car and then DRIVE AWAY and leave them to die in the street. I hope Mr. Richard M. Sarkisian's karma (or lack thereof) that he built up by publicly criticizing an innocent victim comes back to visit him and bit him in the as* hard.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Well, that's the thing: I was lying in the middle of street, but I was only wearing a gimp mask and ballgag, so that makes me think it I was to blame not only for getting hit, but also for Ebola and the Kennedy assassination.

10:41 AM  

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