Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

14 June 2009

And the award for douchiest comment goes to...

So, unbeknownst to me until a couple days ago, AOL took my story from Philly Mag, condensed it (which made me look a lot more pissed off than what I wrote, unfortunately, but hey, it's nice to get word out so people in similar situations know there's hope for recovery) and put it on their health page. Which meant my face and scar-parted pre-second-surgery hair would pop up after Danny Gokey on their homepage.
Oh joy.

But in any event, the placement solicited a lot of comments to both sites. Most of them positive, a few negative. Which I love. With no further ado, here are what those who wallow in the slop of anonymity had to say. The typos, of course, are theirs:
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 14, 2009 at 6:43 PM
I feel terrible that you were struck and severely wounded by the driver of that car. But bear in mind that you were most likely staggering home drunk from the bar where you'd spent the last few hours, so you probably swerved into the path of the car that hit you. Add wearing an ipod--a device which completely robs you of your ability to hear anything except the music emanating from it---and you're probably just as much to blame for what happened to you as the jerk-off who hit you. Next time take a cab and keep your wits about you.

Um, yeah, anonymous, the iPod battery was dead. And I took the train to avoid driving drunk. And, really, if I'd have "swerved into their path," they'd have stopped and blamed it on me.

Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 14, 2009 at 8:38 PM
this is what happens when your drunk and with an ipod on walking down a dark street.

Anybody have the power to let me know when anonymous will be drunk, and walking down a dark street with an iPod on?

10:06 PM Jun 15 2009
Brian another good bleeding heart story hope you sell some more papers thats what you are after you must need some attention well you got it.

Damn! Rmille1480 caught me. Well, except for the fact that I, uh, don't sell newspapers for a living or need any more attention, really.

09:03 PM Jun 15 2009
Serious head trauma recovery includes a stage of rage - it is part of the brain waking back up. AS far as his outlook after the fact - how sad that he learned nothing from his experience except to be so arrogant as to think that it was mere luck or his own wonderfulness that left him alive.

Sniff, thanks for the, sniff, therapy session, sniff, and for reading the whole story where I explain how the reason I'm alive is that I had good care from the second I got hit until this very day. Sniff.

10:54 PM Jun 15 2009

Well, I don't know why Thelawman3026, but it seems like a lot more people care about small unknown reporters than do about your simpleton ass.


Blogger AnastasiaBeaverhousen said...

Thelawman = Arthur Kade

Can't stand that someone would care about another human being instead of him and his awesomeness.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous ChihuahuaMom said...

What the hell is wrong with humanity that they read your story - even a shortened one - and have the balls to slam you?! G-d that's depressing. They're all heartless m*ther f*ckers.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Ah, I'm a big boy. I've been handling idiocy for 14 years of letters and comments at this point. Thing is, after looking at the overnight comments, these pale in comparison!

10:34 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Oh, and AB: I thought Kade had actually deputized MoFaux for online commenting.

10:34 AM  
Blogger miss bee said...

AOL comments are the bane of my internet existence.

my mom and i read them in the same manner that you keep tabs on arthur kade.

3:24 PM  

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