Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

01 May 2009

Thoughts on broken, and gay, marriages

I've been watching a lot of Divorce Court lately. If you're a FB friend, you already know this. Yesterday, I saw the best case yet. It was a dude whose wife brought a box of pictures in as evidence. They were of all the (judge's words) "white women" that he was scamping about town wit'. Stoic in the face of adversity, he knocked the aggression clear out the courtroom by saying he'd been abducted by a cult, thus his lust knew no racial boundaries.
It was a heartfelt moment. One that proved America was in a post-racial phase, finally, unless you include all the racist Republicans. But that's another matter for another day.
It also uniquely qualifies me as a expert on matters of relationships, both how to cultivate and/or mend a broken one. No, Barry Manilow cannot step to me in both regards. Clearly, you agree. So, my opinion on two news stories I saw on Yahoo last night hold weight in this crazy, mixed-up world.
Here's the lead for the first one:
Jon & Kate Plus 8 dad Jon Gosselin is admitting he "showed poor judgment" by leaving a bar at 2 a.m. with a mystery woman and without his wedding band -- while his wife Kate was across the country promoting a book.
"Like most people, I have male and female friends, and I'm not going to end my friendships just because I'm on TV," the dad of 8 tells Extra. "However, being out with them late at night showed poor judgment on my part.
"What makes me sick is that my careless behavior has put my family in this uncomfortable position. My family is the most important thing in my life and it kills me that these allegations have hurt them."
A clubgoer tells the newest issue of Us Weekly that Jon "could barely walk" after spending nearly three hours with a mystery woman he referred to as "babe." After being spotted by photographers, the two hastily sped off in a car without turning on the headlights.

Well, allow me to step in right there. I don't watch home shows, or programs about people with a lot of kids. It's just not my thing. But I've seen this pair on The Soup. Often.
And you know what it is I see? A crazy, crazy dame who drives her husband to the brink of insanity, and when he tries to talk on camera, she chirps him down, ordering him to be quiet. I can't imagine a worse life, really. And that's why Judge Hickey orders that, if Jon wants to go out with babes when Kate's out of town on her precious book tours or making her annual batch of soups, by all means, he has to. He just does. I believe in marriage and all its tenets and vows. Really, I do. But Jon, dude, your wife is Certifiably domineering (the capital C was intended), and it's not like you can't leave her with eight kids. You have to makedo somehow. If going out and getting loaded is what it takes, go and do just that. Don't let America shame you into feeling bad about it. It's nobody's business by yours and Kate's. And it's not even her business if you don't do anything WHILE THE PAP PACK FOLLOWS YOU!
It is so ordered.
Oh, and the same goes for you, Miss California: Don't let gay America shame you for launching a campaign based on your beliefs, even if your belief is anti-gay-marriage.
Brave people died so you'd have the freedom to speak your mind. Shame on those who use the very same freedom to try and ridicule you.


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