Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

21 March 2009

Scrote of the Week

Listen, I'm no Yankees fan, even if I'm going to the new-home opener first week of April for an exhibition against the Mighty Chicago Cubs. Which means I've never been all that huge a fan of Jason Giambi. After all, if he had a smidge more in the wheels category, Jeter never would have thrown him out at the plate in the playoffs (one of the greatest plays ever. Period.). Hence, he'd never have achieved champion-caliber status (ok, maybe it'd have taken a lil longer).
But here I am, disgusted by a letter in Sports Illustrated that could be perceived to be anti-Yankees-and-all-they-stand-for. But with no further ado, here's your scrote of the week, Ms. Kenneth H. Alshanski from Arnold, Missouri.

Giambi compares himself to Frank the Tank of Old School fame and says of his time in Oakland, "When I was here the first time, we turned this place into a frat house. I think we can do it again." Frank the Tank is a drunken loser who might be funny in a movie but is certainly not a role model. I wonder if Jason will tell his understudies about the beauty of steroid and HGH use, which he has admitted to.
Kenneth H. Alshanski, Arnold, Mo.

Drunken loser, eh? Well, Kenneth, you doth protest too much for your own good.

Because not only did Frank "the Tank" Ricard do away with his pesky, prissy "you're a drunken loser and not a role model" spouting wife in Old School, but he made an appearance on stage with SnoopaLoop, streaked to the quad (ok, to the center of town) and listened to Whitesnake while he made his muscle car not exactly street-legal. Shame on you, Ms. Alshanski for even thinking that Frank the Tank is a loser, let along dragging him down by valuing the comparison that Giambi had drawn to himself.
For that, among, I'm sure, many other reason, you, good madam, are the Scrote of the Week. Enjoy.

P.S. Arnold, Missouri -- a town that is only one year older than I am -- may very well be the 12th most affordable city in America, Ms. Alshanski, but if you think you're better than Frank the Tank, just think about this:
The Three Dog Night concert at Rickman Auditorium last month was The Pinnacle of the Arnold Social Circuit. Couldn't you at least have gotten Whitesnake? (I'll bet the 11th most affordable city could!)


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