Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

23 March 2009

Kenny van der Powers Woodsen

Christ, you write a little commentary on the state of health-care in America -- and the State of Health Care in America is Bad! -- and all the McCainites come out and throw the government-run card at you. Oh well. I love a good debate, especially one I feel I'm on the right side of. But I'm clearly not here to talk about my writings. I'm hear to talk about Danny McBride's and Jason Gay's
First off: Eastbound & Down is Eastbound & Gone now. Unless they commit to adding another season, Kenny Powers is six episodes and gone. In the season (or show) closer, some dude claiming to be the Assistant to the Assistant GM of Tampa shows up at Kenny's bro's house and offers him a contract. Kenny proceeds to rip lines off a gun (which, when tweaked, he puts into his mouth), buy a Denali (which I don't think was really a Denali), and convinces April (who bared her breasts in the opening credits) to go with him and his 98-mph fastball the bigs, via Tampa (the words he used to convince April: "F*** all that fine Cuban p****. Your olive skin bests that any day of the week.")
Only, the Assistant to the Assistant GM of Tampa with the black Amex card wasn't really what he said he was. And he called Kenny to apologize for getting his hopes up, saying he was going to rehab now. But Kenny didn't tell anybody. Which was totally Powers-esque.

As for the reference to Jason Gay, it was the Gossip Girl article in Rolling Stone, the one with the cover that told me God was alive and well via the Mr. Softee trucks out of Runnemede.
I won't bog you down with the details. You can buy the magazine yourself, if only for the cover shot alone. But Victory Beer? I hereby order you to seek an endorsement from the show, for the Golden Monkey variety -- a case of which taunts my not-allowed-to-drink-self from the basement fridge -- seems to be a favorite of the Gossip Boys.
The drink of choice [of Chace Crawford, Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick] is Golden Monkey, a grassy Belgian-style beer with a not unnoticeable alcohol volume.
"Don't disrespect the Golden Monkey," Crawford says.
"Nine point five percent, man," Westwick says, holding the beer aloft.

Oh, and Victory, you can thank me by sending a few cases over to the house around 09.09.09. Much obliged, beer guys.


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