Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

28 March 2009

I'm a (fan of) losers, bay-bay

If you've read this blog for any extended period of time -- and let's face it, who hasn't, right? -- you know that the Cubs have a place in my heart. A huge place in my heart. Because even though I celebrated profusely when the Phils won the series, my nightmare would have been an NLCS between Philly and the Cubbies (They're 1 and 1a in my remaining mind). Even though the Phils sent a No. 11 jersey to my hospital room -- a move that earned mega points in my book then and now -- my allegiance would still be torn in a 1-1a showdown.
Like in October, when the Phils and Cubbies face off for the right to represent NL-style in the W.S.
My allegiance won't, however, be torn in July since the Phils have invited injured ole me to a game against -- you got it -- the Chicago Cubs! (I'd initially told them I wanted to get there for the first Mets game, but it's too close to my skull surgery). See, I want to meet every last Phil, but the only Cubbie who's hurlin' hand I must shake is Carlos Zambrano. Had Kerry Wood still been around, well, I'd have been a teenaged fan all over again. But he's gone. So it's Zambrano (maybe Soriano, too) but only after all the Phillies.
Because they are the champions. And, as me, Bill Hader and Cubs fans young and old all know, the Cubs are not.
I'll tell you who else ain't gonna be a champ if what's currently going on keeps up: my NFL love, the Denver Broncos.

From a football perspective, it makes no sense for Cutler to want to leave Denver. The offense ranked second in the league last season (395.8 yards per game), and he has four other young rising stars around him in tackles Ryan Clady and Ryan Harris and wideouts Eddie Royal and Brandon Marshall. By contrast, Detroit and Tampa Bay between them have one great offensive player, Lions wideout Calvin Johnson. As Cook says, "I have told Jay, 'You'd better be careful. You don't have any control over where you play.'"

(Photo and excerpt from Sports Illustrated)

Which sucks, and not just because they gots the Dawkins and all.
But if the new coach, Mrs. Josh McDaniels, can't mend the fences with his franchise QB, Mrs. Jay Cutler, a 12-4 season turns into 5-11, and Brian P. Hickey gets angry. And Mrs. McDaniels won't like me when I'm angry.

Bonus coverage: Since Entertainment Weekly neglected to name Jame Gumb as one of the Top 20 villains of all time, they've been placed on the Dead To Me List. Because they're dead to me. But being on said list does not bar you from getting a Bonus Coverage shout-out. So, shouting out:
-- the Facebook group formed by UCLA's Erin Moore after the school named James Franco its commencement speaker. Says Moore, "I just don't think he's changed the structure of our society just yet." Pineapple Express was close, though.
-- the article about The Real Housewives of New York City because not only did they include a photo of the Jersey skanks, er, brides they'll be exploiting next (seen to the right), but I'm fixated on Bethenny.

-- and, finally, for alerting me to the fact that there's a new V pilot in the works. Are they serious? Because V, the alien-takeover one, was like the show I listed as my all-time favorite in the Strawbridge School sixth-grade graduation leaflet. (Big ups, Strawbridge.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

V ruled.
Remember the parakeet eating?

11:39 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

I always thought those images were concocted by the "bad portion" of my mind.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Omg, after I posted that comment, I thought to myself, what if I completely inserted that memory, how crazy am I? Better click anonymous.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Well, anonymous, your second comment has inspired me: I'm going to pitch a network show in which people must put an alien mask on and eat parakeets to win a prize (Like a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni, just to make it ironic). They'll have to do so each week. I don't think it'll EVER get old!

1:49 PM  

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