Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

19 February 2009

[UPDATED] Oh Lord, please let this REDACTED get thrown into Curran Fromhold. PLEASE?

Someone asked me today, "When you were working in A.C., did you ever hear of that asshole Michael Crook?" My answer, of course, was "no." Because I hadn't. Until this afternoon, when I looked up this REDACTED's* website on which the REDACTED proceeds to taunt the men and women of the Philadelphia Police Department for -- gasp! -- mourning the loss of another of their own. You know, just like any self-respecting human being mourns the loss of someone who takes a protect-and-serve job knowing full-well that they could lose their life any damn day of the week. Unlike lil Mikey, who actually wrote an autobiography.

Presumably, his book did not contain chapters on grooming or hygiene, unless it's in a Rocky Dennis way. Images taken from Crook's website.

I mean, really? Someone wants to read about a REDACTED from the mean streets of Mays Landing?
"His" latest post is titled, "See you tonight, Philly cops," and it reads:

So tonight, it all starts to come to a close: the fuss that’s been blanketing Philly starts to come to its natural conclusion.
Tonight is John Pawlowski’s viewing in at the John J. Givnish Funeral Home in Philly. I will be there, exercising my legal right to protest. Be sure to look for me after your precious, empty ceremony, and it’ll all be nice and perfectly legal, giving no grounds for arrest or retribution.
Also, I have booked a hotel room, and will be staying in Philly, because I will then protest at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul, for his funeral.
And yes, just like I did at a veterans’ cemetery last summer (see the video section), I will share my own little “tribute” after he’s buried at the Resurrection Cemetery in Bensalem. After the grave is closed, and after everything is all nice and pretty, I will come exercise my free speech. I have proven that I have no problem doing that, as the Hamilton Township Police and the Atlantic County Park Police can attest.
It’s time that the arrogance of cops is exposed. Oh, and by the way, I am coming prepared, so anyone with bright ideas would do well to remember that.

I think I speak for all of us -- including the actually legible writers of the world (of which he most certainly isn't a member) -- when I say I'm praying Mikey crosses the line and winds up doing 36-48 hours in a Philly cell. (Psst, your cellmates will be a little tougher than the "Atlantic County Park Police").
Because, quite frankly, this "guy" is a total, unrepentant REDACTED who couldn't even land an internship at a local paper.

UPDATE: Aw wook, the REDACTED wishes I'd died in the hit-and-run. How cute!
Back in 2008, a driver apparently “left him for dead” in a hit-and-run accident. Too bad the driver didn’t finish him off. Hickey’s wife whined that “if the driver has a conscience he’ll turn himself in.” Why? If the driver got away with it, why in the hell would he or she do such a thing? If anything, that driver should get a medal. Hickey dubs the driver a “dirtbag hit-and-run driver“, but it is not so. That driver almost eliminated this judgmental, hateful cretin, and that’s a good thing. Arrogant and self-centered, HIckey is so quick to rush to judgment without doing even the most basic research. With all this in mind, it wouldn’t have been a loss to anyone had the driver actually gotten it right, and I for one hope the driver is never caught.

*= I've redacted the name-calling because I made a deal with myself, upon waking up from the coma, to not do so. Besides, I think his wishing death upon me does more than enough talking.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Accuracy must not be your strong suit. If you even bothered to check the bio, or your facts, you'd know Michael Crook interned at the Press (hey, didn't you work with them?) in 1996.

Don't knock on others' writing style if you can't even tackle basic accuracy.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Identifying yourself as anything but "Anonymous" must not be your strong suit.
I'll gladly put my career, writing style, and accuracy up against his. Because 1) I was referring to landing a job/internship in a major market (since you had trouble with that, allow me to explain that "local" = "where one currently lives") and 2) yes, I did get to the Press in late '96 and, lo and behold, the intern just didn't leap off the pages and into my memory (probably because a: he wasn't there when I was and b: I don't check bios of people who just agitate like a fifth grader to get attention).

8:40 AM  
Blogger ecorrell said...

Well, I guess we all know you ruffled some feathers..Good! Thank-you Brian and very well said. I truly hope on Judgement Day this Moron gets what he deserves. I wish I could be there if he actually has the Balls to do something to these men/women during this funeral today. Just a thought, but they probably wouldn't like it..

Ed Correll
Collingswood Police Department
Collingswood, NJ

9:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't even know where to begin on this waste of flesh, so I'll just point out that if anyone OTHER than the police were to test Mr. Crook's own limits while he is protesting, I doubt the police would have the time to help him.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Katie said... can wish injury upon him, but he can't wish death upon you? Interesting. Oh, he's still a jerk, but your standards are interesting.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Yep, my standards are certainly interesting, Katie.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Oh, and Katie, I almost forgot to ask: Where exactly did I specifically "wish injury upon him"?

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Katie said...

Well, that would be here:

"I'm praying Mikey crosses the line and winds up doing 36-48 hours in a Philly cell. (Psst, your cellmates will be a little tougher than the 'Atlantic County Park Police').

Granted, you don't make a blatant wish, but you do it passively, by pointing out "tougher" cell mates, which infers violence, which in turn infers injury.

I also find it amusing that you can't admit that you made a mistake, and it's funny that you said he couldn't get an internship, come to find out he got one, and at the paper you worked at. I mean, you poked holes in his writing style (which is a valid point), but then you go and make a blanket statement, are proven wrong, and can't admit it?

For that reason, I write you off as a has-been journalist.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Oh, I'll readily admit I didn't have even a faint recollection of any Press interns. Still don't, actually. You see, I was busy working instead of consorting with errand boys. I'd just read, on his site, that "it appears as if I am unemployable," and translated that as "couldn't even get an internship." The "local" meant "in Philadelphia." Perhaps I should have been clearer. My mistake.
But I appreciate your kind words since it's better to be a "has-been" than to never have been anyone at all. I'm sure you can vouch for that, Katie.

5:54 PM  
Blogger Marty said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Marty said...

(bleh, one thing I hate about Blogger/blogspot is the inability to edit your own comments, outloud thinking in above deleted comment needed a rewrite to make sense)

I often wondered what the knee-jerk cop haters who live in Philly do when an officer loses his life in the line of duty. Now I know, at least when its a knee-jerk cop hater in the safety of Jersey.

That said, just looking at the front of today's shows even bankrupt journalists see we got problems among our city's finest. There are ugly cops, and there are ugly cop "critics". Unfortunately, the 'net gives many the impression that's all there is.

I sincerely mean no disrespect to Officer Pawlowski's service; but the anger that burns me when I hear about another Philadelphia cop dying gets exacerbated by a suspicion that Ramsey's deployment tactics being partially at fault for this uptick in police deaths on the job. Disband special, long term investigative units to beef up bodies on the streets and the "elite" "strike force" ass-kicking team. You wind up with a force deployed without the intelligence to act on any real crime preventions. They're dogged and pony'd out for the "concerned citizens" and city officials while on the beat and, more apologies for my cynicism, when they're trotted out in the cathedral too.

It's like all the country's crime fighting know-how went into a counter-insurgency manual in Iraq, and the screwed up policies of the early part of the Iraq war have been swapped into American cities.


2:34 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Point clearly taken, Marty.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Tina said...

Hi Brian:
I have been following your site for some time now. I kept clicking to your last entry in November waiting to see when you would be updating again. So glad you are back.
I have lived in Philly (not in a 'BURB outside Philly, but Olney, and Lawndale and Mayfair)all my life and guys like Michael Crook make me sick.
Thank you for this post.

10:03 AM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Hey Tina, thanks for writing -- and for reading. It's great to be back, too. Could've ended up a lot worse than it did, so I'm lucky. (Or, as Crook would say in all his "wisdom," the world got unlucky.)

11:32 AM  

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