Plank Walkin', just isn't a crime
While nothing short of Tori Amos' dying-cat-shriek of a "voice" annoys me more than the whole "Talk like a pirate" trend -- sorry, mateys, you sound like doucheys -- I love me some real-life pirate stories. So thank you Gulf of Aden pirates for keepin' in real.
NAIROBI, Kenya (CNN) -- Pirates are believed to have anchored a hijacked supertanker carrying up to $100 million worth of crude oil off Somalia Tuesday, its operator has said.
See, people, Johnny's not a real pirate. And neither are you. So, knock if off until you're ready to motorboat down the Delaware and take over a tanker before it gets too far up river. (Psst, when you arrgh, call me. I'm always up for some swash-bucklin. Word.)