It's a feast in Hell this week!
The Ghost of Cooey hungry. Feed Ghost of Cooey.
Amid the fog of the two-day recovery from the Phils' win (probably would've been a month if the Cubbies didn't choke like the loser dogs that they are now, and will always be), I caught one of those stories that really pisses me off. As in, unrepentant murderer tries to get out of the death penalty he deserves, hippies join hands and sing Kumbaya in support, courts get gummed up again.
(Save the comments anti-cap-pun folks, we're never going to agree because I think we should reform and fix the system while you think murderers should live out their lives on our collective dimes. Nothing either of us can say will change the others opinion. Even though I'm right. As usual.)
But this one was truly special.
First, the crime, from Cleveland.com:
His attorneys argued Monday that he is a changed man who is sorry for what he did at age 19. They blamed alcohol for the crimes and ineffective counsel for landing Cooey on death row.
"Rick Cooey is no longer the man who committed those awful crimes," said his attorney, Dana Cole. "He's remorseful to the point of self-loathing."
But Cole acknowledged that Cooey refuses to accept full blame for killing the women, only saying he participated. He blames the fatal blows on his 17-year-old accomplice, Clint Dickens, who is serving life.
The women were abducted on Sept. 1, 1986 just after midnight, shortly after they had left their jobs at an Akron restaurant.
Cooey and Dickens had disabled the women's car by throwing a large rock from a highway overpass onto the vehicle as it passed underneath. The women did not know who damaged their car when Cooey and Dickens drove up, offering to help.
Their bodies were found the next day in brush behind an Akron-area shopping mall. They had been raped, beaten with a club and strangled with a shoestring. An "x" was etched onto their stomachs.
Of course he isn't the person as he was pre-crime. Something about raping and murdering two women and carving letters into their stomachs will change a man, fo'sho.
But onto the reason why Cooey and his counsel said that he shouldn't have been executed, as he ultimately was earlier this week:
Richard Cooey, who weighed 267-pounds, had argued in numerous legal challenges that his weight problem would make it difficult for prison staff to find suitable veins to deliver the deadly chemicals.
Translation: I'm too fat to be executed for two brutal murders. I'll say this much: it's original. Very original to the point that I can see Mumia chowing down on a 30-pound ham and bacon spread as we speak.
Oh wait, he's off death row, even though he killed a cop in cold blood.
What a wonderful world.