Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

31 August 2008

Weekend Reading Roundup

Sarah Palin may be -- strike that, is -- the sassiest VP candidate this side of Spiro Agnew (hubba hubba), but there's something bothering me about Her Vixenness. (And, yes, I will continue to dance back and forth across the sexist line from here on out so as to totally, and wholly, piss off those crazy-ass dames and 12-cat-owning frumpeteers who are still whining that they shan't vote for Obama on account of how sexist he clearly is.) What is it, you ask? Why, lemme tell you: She hates nature as much as she loathes a lady's right to abort. Specifically, polar bears.

No worries here, Sarah. We're totally cool.

Which really surprises me, because she's a Krazy-Kooky-Konservative, and polar bears are as white as can be, naw'mean?

The American Petroleum Institute and four other business groups filed suit Thursday against Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Director H. Dale Hall, joining Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's administration in trying to reverse the listing of the polar bear as a threatened species.
On Aug. 4, the State of Alaska filed a lawsuit opposing the polar bear's listing, arguing that their populations as a whole are stable and that melting sea ice does not pose an imminent threat to their survival. The suit says polar bears have survived warming periods in the past.
One of the plaintiffs in Thursday's lawsuit, the National Association of Manufacturers, lauded the choice of Palin as the Republican vice presidential nominee for reasons including her advocacy of oil and gas exploration, which many fear could be affected by the bear's protected status.

Gratuitous chick-with-gun video follows.

So, yeah, great move, Johnny Boy. Me(starting to)thinks that it's not a coincidence that every time you throw a party, nature decides to bear down on New Orleans with all its raw power. (Because you're stupid. And because you're evil. And nah-nah-nah nah-nah nah.) You know who else is evil? Whoa, Johnny, you're dead-on right: Vince Fumo, who (allegedly) used we Pennsylvanians' money so he could have a Oreck vaccuum cleaner in every last closet. Well, he dusts off the "Let's Git Some (Pity)" playbook this week and cries an unconvicing river to the Inquirer. Which falls into his trap by dropping it on the front page.
Showing his penchant for sensitivity, he compares his woes -- which were brought on by hubris, greed and unmitigated arrogance -- to someone suffering from cancer.

"I liken it to [when] the doctor says you have cancer. Well, you don't go in the corner over there and just die. You fight it. You get chemo. You get whatever you can get. You may win, you may not."

Psst, hey Vince, I saw my mom fight it, and she didn't win. Guess what: it's nothing like what you're going through, you pompous piece of excrement. It's going to be utterly redeeming to watch you get your tired, decrepit, delusional ass hauled out of court in cuffs, because you're a scumbag the likes of which most humans rarely encounter. May your cellmate dislike you from the moment he lays eyes (and hands) upon you. XOXO, Hickey.

Sorry about that; had to vent. Some other stories of note:

Hey Jers, you're long overdue for a big old hurricane.

Hey America, you're right: The income gap always widens under Republican leadership I think it's because they sell polar bear pelts at a markup, but others see it differently.

It is well known that income inequality in the United States has been on the rise for about 30 years now — an unsettling development that has finally touched the public consciousness. But Professor Bartels unearths a stunning statistical regularity: Over the entire 60-year period, income inequality trended substantially upward under Republican presidents but slightly downward under Democrats, thus accounting for the widening income gaps over all. And the bad news for America’s poor is that Republicans have won five of the seven elections going back to 1980.

Hey, world, Nicholas Kristof brings another horrific tale of suffering back from Darfur. I know the Olympics were pretty, but shouldn't we start smacking the Chinese around for their tacit support of genocide?

And last, but not least, 90210 is back, yo (check out this oral history in the Times, which failed to include Joe E. Tata, a cardinal sin to say the least. And I'm man enough to admit that I already programmed it into thee old TiVo. You know, a few minutes after I made sure Gossip Girl was the top-priority show for recording purposes when he returns tomorrow night. Dude, I can not wait to see what Serena did this summer, ohmygod.


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