Ryan Howard don't like big butts, and J. Roll cannot lie
In this week's Sports Illustrated -- the one that accurately deemed last week's Nadal/Federer Wimbledon final "the Greatest Match Ever" -- Dan Patrick interviews Jimmy Rollins. When asked who his favorite comedian is, J. Roll shouts Chappelle out. Then, he explains...
DP: Who's the Dave Chappelle of the Phillies?
JR: Probably Ryan Howard. He's always the referee when we go out and see something that's just out of whack, whether it be a guy dressed up crazy, a girl just way out of pocket. Let's say you got a girl and she has a stomach that's sticking out further than the rest of her body parts....
DP: Sort of like Ryan has?
JR: Yes, something like that. He'll literally blow the whistle, put his hands up; he'll be like, Offsides, too much leading in front of the pack. You're like, This dude is crazy.
Say what you will about R. Ho jamming up the fatties. But c'mon Jimmy, Chappelle gave us Ashy Effin Larry and Tron Carter pleading the "FiF." Sorry, MVP, that dude is crazy. Your first baseman ain't.