Another Slow News Day in Syphilisville
I presume the Baltimore Sun's Laura Vozzella had a point to make Sunday when she rehashed last week's piece about our cover story from a week earlier about bringing Poe back to Philly. I'm just not sure what it is. To wit:
Thin of skin in Philadelphia
October 14, 2007
Philly didn't mind when Baltimore beat back the Brits in 1814, but we defend our most famous author and -- sheesh!
I reported the other day on the Philadelphia City Paper's claim that Edgar Allan Poe was more Philadelphian than Baltimorean and that his remains should be moved to the City of Brotherly Love. I quoted a couple of Baltimoreans who, with a few colorful but completely justified anti-cheesesteak and anti-Eagles slurs, demurred.
"[C]rabcake-stuffed cranks," declared Philadelphia's Daily Examiner blog, which also quoted City Paper managing editor Brian Hickey: "I'd expect nothing less from the syphilis capital of the universe."
Hey, Atlanta holds that distinction today, thank you very much. Baltimore ranks waaay down the list at, um, fourth.
One of my Sun colleagues, H.L. Mencken, called Philadelphia "the most pecksniffian of American cities." And the Pecksniffs were particularly ticked by this comment from Baltimore Ravens spokesman Patrick Gleason: "I'd like to know where, exactly, are their eagles? I've seen pigeons but never eagles in the city."
"Gleason obviously doesn't know that this is a sore spot," the blog says, "especially since Philadelphia's skies were once filled with thousands of buoyant eagles -- until Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis and his thug entourage came to town in 2004 and stabbed them all to death."
Youse guys can boo players and Santa all you want. Baltimore is proud of its steadfast (if warped) support for the justice-obstructing linebacker, who, by the way, beat the double-murder rap. Even if he'd gone down, we'd let Lewis vote, just like any other felon.
Stuff that in your Cradle of Liberty and rock it.
Seriously, you can do better than "rock it," right? Even if the ravages of syphilis have rendered your city, oh, I don't know, a wee bit short on witty responses?