Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

28 September 2007

Happy Softcore Friday!

So, FHM magazine went out of the print business a while back and all, which is a shame, because it was a good 20-minute-read diversion each month. They're still keeping the goodness flowing, though, through an online thing where they send an email with fancy links to scantily clad ladies.
This week, they've blasted out their Top 10 Digital Darlings. Not sure what that really means (though I would if I'd read the words), but I think it's worth pointing out some local flavor that made the cut; introducing Erika from Doylestown.

27 September 2007

Week 4 picks

At Miami -4 Oakland UNDER 41.5

Houston -3 At Atlanta OVER 39

Baltimore -4.5 At Cleveland UNDER 39

Chicago -3 At Detroit OVER 44.5

Green Bay -1.5 At Minnesota OVER 38

At Dallas -13 St. Louis OVER 45.5

NY Jets -3.5 At Buffalo UNDER 37

At Carolina -3 Tampa Bay UNDER 39

Seattle -2 At San Francisco OVER 41

Pittsburgh -6 At Arizona OVER 41.5

At San Diego -12 Kansas City OVER 39.5

At Indianapolis -9.5 Denver OVER 46

Philadelphia -2.5 At NY Giants UNDER 47

New England -7.5 At Cincinnati OVER 53

Best Bets:
Spread - the Brian Griese led Chicago Bears romp in Detroit well beyond the three.
O/U - Indy and Denver goes over 46 by halftime. OK, maybe the end of the third.

26 September 2007

This week's column

On Wednesday night, the Phillies — wild-card playoff qualifiers on the last day of the regular season — ended their hometown's 24-year pro-sports-championship drought by beating the New York Yankees four games to two in a World Series for the ages.

Though, there's more to the story than there may seem. Coming tomorrow or Friday: picks de football.

24 September 2007

And it just keeps getting uglier

Man oh man, good thing these are For Amusement Only purpose picks, lest I be selling the house, dog, and a few limbs to dig out from the hole through the end of Week three Sunday.
Thanks to the Cowgirls big second half last night, Week Three stats stand at:
5-6-4 on the spread
6-9 on the over/under.

Like I said, ugly, ugly, ugly. Almost as ugly as everybody except me thought the Birds' jerseys were yesterday. But not for the bookies who must've made out like vig bandits with the four pushes.

Even worse is the season-to-date tallies, including the best bets, sadly enough. For the year before MNF:

19-20-7 (line)
18-28 (o/u)

Both best bets stand at 1-2 on the year

All of which is to say, I picked the Saints and the under tonight. So, you should probably go with the Titans and the over, if you knew what was statistically good for you.

Go Cubs.

(McNabb photo from the Daily News' David Maialetti)

21 September 2007

Week Three Picks

Indianapolis -6 At Houston OVER 48
San Diego -5.5 At Green Bay OVER 43
At Kansas City -3 Minnesota OVER 33
At Philadelphia -6 Detroit OVER 44
At New England -16 Buffalo UNDER 41
At NY Jets -3 Miami UNDER 35.5
At Pittsburgh -9 San Francisco OVER 38
At Baltimore -8 Arizona UNDER 35.5
At Tampa Bay -3.5 St. Louis OVER 38
At Denver -3.5 Jacksonville OVER 35.5
At Seattle -3 Cincinnati OVER 50
At Oakland -3 Cleveland OVER 40
Carolina -4 At Atlanta UNDER 37
At Washington -4 NY Giants UNDER 40.5
At Chicago -3 Dallas UNDER 41
At New Orleans -4.5 Tennessee UNDER 45.5

Best Bets:
Oakland -3
Philly/Detroit over 44

Season stats to date:
Spread: 14-14-3
Over/Under: 12-19

Best Bets:
Spread: 1-1
Over/Under: 0-2

20 September 2007

This week's column...

...can be found here.

Leave OJ alone. Leroy Carr, too.

Be back tomorrow with Week 3 picks.

18 September 2007

While you're at it, LEAVE DONOVAN ALONE TOO!

17 September 2007

I see the OJ

And, lo and behold, he both looks scared and is slouching down after all these years. So am I, actually, considering the 10-19-1 tally going into the Birds Monday Night game against the Skins. Not enough to even approach respectability, when coupled with a second consecutive fantasy football loss. (Bite me, late pickups Chris Brown and Eric Johnson.)

Well, I said the Birds and the under to start with. And though I'm not one to go back on my word, I certainly would if given the chance here. Because I got a feelin', a bad feelin, that says Skins 28, Birds 27.

14 September 2007

Yes, I can dig it.

Does he make you horny, baby?

A Vermont man sent a 16-year-old Enfield girl disturbing text messages and pictures of him wearing a diaper, police said.

Enfield police said Lawrence Robarge, 48, of Vermont, sent the messages to the girl earlier in September. The girl didn't recognize the number, but she contacted police when she saw the messages and pictures.

"They were very disturbing, given her age and what the text messages say," Chief Richard Crate Jr. said.

Police said that one picture sent to the girl shows a bottle of baby powder and two diapers. A caption with the photo reads, "Show this to your lady friends then have them call me if their [sic] interested. OKAY???"

Crate said that Robarge dialed the number at random and reached the girl.

"The investigators don't believe that he had any knowledge of this girl," he said. "It was just a random number he text messaged."

At first, the girl sent a message back: "Gross old man... leave me alone."

But police said Robarge responded: "I'm wearing a diaper right now." He also attached a picture of him wearing a diaper, police said.

Police said Robarge sent another message: "I'm an adult baby, and I love wearing diapers."

The girl worked with police to continue the conversation to the point where Robarge arranged to meet her at a shopping complex in West Lebanon, N.H., police said. He didn't show up, but police arrested Robarge later.

Robarge was charged with stalking and harassment, and police said he could face more charges.

Crate said that the girl is doing fine.

"The girl actually did a great job in speaking with him, following the script that we gave," Crate said. "Given the circumstances, she was very brave."

Police were also investigating a report from a parent who said that she believes her son received similar messages from Robarge. Investigators said anyone who believes they were contacted by Robarge should contact the Enfield Police Department.

Douches, Drinks-es

Been a while since I've hit my favorite site on The Tubes. As you can see by the picture, they've truly outdone themselves over at this time.

So, drink him in with your eyes, and then drink this in with your gullets:

Laughing at the Waves
1 1/2 ounces vodka
1/2 ounce dry vermouth
1/2 ounce Campari
1 lemon twist

In mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the vodka, vermouth and Campari. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the lemon twist.

from The Bartender's Bible, Gary Regan

13 September 2007

Week 2 picks

At Pittsburgh -9.5 Buffalo OVER 37.5

Cincinnati -7 At Cleveland UNDER 42

Indianapolis -7 At Tennessee OVER 46

At Carolina -6.5 Houston OVER 38.5

At St. Louis -3 San Francisco UNDER 44.5

At NY Giants -1 Green Bay UNDER 37.5

At Jacksonville -10.5 Atlanta OVER 34.5

New Orleans -3.5 At Tampa Bay UNDER 42

At Detroit -3 Minnesota OVER 42.5

Dallas -4 At Miami UNDER 40.5

Seattle -3 At Arizona OVER 42.5

At Baltimore -10 NY Jets UNDER 33.5

At Denver -10 Oakland UNDER 39

At Chicago -12.5 Kansas City OVER 34.5

At New England -4 San Diego UNDER 46.5

At Philadelphia -7 Washington UNDER 39

Best bets:
Denver (-10) vs. the Raiders
Giants/Green Bay under 37.5

12 September 2007

Last week's stats; this week's column

At least it wasn't a loss right? With an 8-5-2 tally on the spread, and 7-8 on the o/u, the Week One final record came in at a whopping 15-13-2. Troubling, however, was the .500 result on the best bets; Minnesota sure came through, but the o/u in SF/Ariz sure didn't. Nor did I, in my fantasy football debut against Freddie Morgan.

So goes life I suppose. Until next week. For ye CP readers who couldn't care less about de fubaw, here's a hint as to tomorrow's column.
Not to mention an excerpt from one of the best fan stories in ages:

Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn't let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.

"He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body," said Thomas' attorney, Carl Hughes. "He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse."

10 September 2007

Missed Pacman?

I know I sure have. Which is why, rather than thinking about my 14-11-1 start to the gamblin' season, or about how horrifically Andy Reid coached yesterday, my mind's all up on this:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Adam "Pacman" Jones can now call himself a pro wrestling tag team world champion, even though his only wrestling move was to cover up a wrestler knocked out by someone else.

The suspended Titans cornerback has a legal agreement with the team to avoid any physical move that could leave him injured. So Jones left the dirty work to tag team partner Ron "The Truth" Killings in TNA Wrestling's "No Surrender" pay-per-view Sunday night against Kurt Angle and Sting.

Jones twice refused to tag in and join the staged match.

C'mon Pac, make it rain some pain, like the JYD did back in the day, yo.

And, for those of you with some Twp. roots, if you haven't seen this yet, do so now. Seriously. It's one of those for-the-record-books type events. Like the time that kid brought a starter pistol to school. Or when the short gym teacher took a swing at Bill Twisler. Or when that chick called in all the bomb scares and we got a bunch of free days off. But, like, 52,000 times better.

07 September 2007


You know, in the midst of finishing up some stories, I've been forgetting to post the Weekend Cocktail. So with no further ado, other than linking my column this week, allow me to introduce you to the Massacre.

2 ounces of tequila
1 teaspoon of Campari
4 ounces of ginger ale

Pour all of the ingredients into a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Get hammered.

05 September 2007

Week 1 picks

It's that time of year 'gain, y'all. Football time. Which means for amusement only line-picking time. With no further ado, here's this week's picks (Coming tomorrow, Eagles prognostication picks in the paper)

At Indianapolis -5.5 New Orleans OVER 52.5

At Houston -3 Kansas City UNDER 38

Denver -3.5 At Buffalo OVER 37

Pittsburgh -4.5 At Cleveland UNDER 37

At Jacksonville -6.5 Tennessee UNDER 37.5

At St. Louis -1 Carolina OVER 42

Philadelphia -3 At Green Bay OVER 43.5

At Minnesota -3 Atlanta UNDER 36

At Washington -3 Miami OVER 35

New England -6.5 At NY Jets UNDER 41

At Seattle -6 Tampa Bay OVER 41.5

At San Diego -6 Chicago UNDER 42.5

At Oakland -1.5 Detroit OVER 40

At Dallas -6 NY Giants OVER 44

At Cincinnati -2.5 Baltimore OVER 40.5

At San Francisco -3 Arizona OVER 45



Final 2006-07 stats:
Spread: 127-127-7
O/U: 141-116-3
Total: 268-243-10

03 September 2007

The Great Outdoors

Well, the deck's finally done which means Charlie Dawg has regained her throne atop the rickety old Townsend's Inlet deck chair she claimed in, oh, '97ish. As content as she can be chilling outside, she just mentioned, through the kitchen window, of course, that she'd like to wish everybody a happy Labor Day.

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