Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

04 April 2007

What gives, no pictures?

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - It took nearly seven hours, the demolition of a bathroom and a sturdy extension ladder for rescue workers to remove a more than 700-pound woman from her home here, officials said.

Rescue workers arrived at the woman's home about 5:45 p.m. Monday in response to reports she had fallen and injured herself in her second-floor bathroom, said Trenton Fire Department Battalion Chief Qareeb Bashir.

They didn't get her out until after midnight.

The undertaking ended up involving dozens of emergency medical responders and firefighters from Trenton and neighboring Ewing.

Firefighters eventually had to dismantle the toilet and radiator, then saw out part of the bathroom wall and window to create a large enough space to move the woman out.

As the hours went by, the woman was in surprisingly good spirits, Bashir said.

"She actually had a pleasant personality. She was laughing and cracking jokes about the situation," Bashir said.

Laughing and cracking jokes? Here's one for you, toots: Lose some fucking weight so the fire department doesn't have to waste its time cutting you out of your house, mmmmkay?

But in the meantime, all of this reminds me of the fantabulous tale of one Sylvanus "Hambone" Smith who, according to Rev. Webb, outweighed Miss Obese New Jersey yet ran a pawn shop out of his home. He was such a glorious man, in fact, that Richard Simmons stopped by for a visit. On the downside, Hambone's no longer with us. Remember him in your prayers.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont think that you should be rude about her weight. even though she deffinately should lose some, obesity is a serious disease. dont be mean about it. im sure she is fully aware that she needs to "lose some fucking weight" without your consent.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Brian Hickey said...

Fair point, anonymous, but 700 pounds takes us beyond the obesity-as-a-real-disease conversation into the realm of the absurd. Or, maybe I'm just unneccessarily mean some days, in which case, I apologize.

7:54 AM  

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