Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at Flickr at Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court:

28 April 2007


Just waking up from last night's Killers show. Better than I even thought possible. But not only did they jam, but the opening band was like nothing I've ever seen. Well, sort of. They were called the Silver Beats. Four Japanese dudes who, according to the introduction, don't speak much English other than Beatles songs. Sounded absurd till they started singing.

26 April 2007

The Lexus, flexes, from Long Beach, to Texas

Dear Australia,

Saw the story about you banning Snoop Dogg from Descendants-of-Prisoners-Land. Let this serve as fair warning that if you send Paul Hogan over here again, he's coming home in a box. A motherfuckin' box, bitches. (Even though there aren't stingrays in the 'hood.)
Fuckin' with Snoop is fuckin' with all of us.


Someone get Tony more cowbell

File this one under, "I wish I could see what the good folk I chilled with overnight on the infield at Darlington would have to say to Stewart":

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) -- Two-time champion Tony Stewart likened NASCAR to professional wrestling and accused it of using bogus caution flags to shape races in biting comments made on his weekly radio show.

Stewart's appearance on his Tuesday night show was his first since skipping a post-race press conference in Phoenix. He dominated Saturday night's race but lost after a late exchange of leads with winner Jeff Gordon. Stewart said he refused interviews to avoid bashing NASCAR after officials threw four cautions for debris on the track.

"It's like playing God," he said on his Sirius Satellite Radio program. "They can almost dictate the race instead of the drivers doing it. It's happened too many times this year."

Stewart, who said he was fighting a fever and left the two-hour show early, went on to say fans are complaining about debris cautions and NASCAR isn't listening.

"I guess NASCAR thinks 'Hey, wrestling worked, and it was for the most part staged, so I guess it's going to work in racing, too,"' he said. "I can't understand how long the fans are going to let NASCAR treat them like they're stupid before the fans finally turn on NASCAR.

And, this week's column, cocktails with and ask a candidate.

Vote Milton. And go Cubs.

25 April 2007

Next Week's Column

Make of this picture what you will, as long as it has to do with the Phillies newest slugger. (Yes, that's me. Yes, that's Citizen's Bank Park. And yes, that ball still hasn't landed.)

Clarity of mind

Big news out of the old South Carolina stomping grounds yesterday. To wit:

DARLINGTON, South Carolina (AP) -- A jury has acquitted a convicted sex offender of charges he raped two teen girls in an underground bunker. The jury found Kenneth Glenn Hinson, 48, not guilty of kidnapping, sex crimes and assault with intent to kill.

Hinson wiped his eyes and mouth and appeared to cry after the jury read its verdict, which followed about four hours of deliberations over two days. "I think the verdict says it all," he said as he was escorted from the courtroom.

Authorities had charged that Hinson snatched the 17-year-old girls from their bedroom last year and dragged them one at a time to the underground room hidden beneath a tool shed, where he raped and bound them with duct tape. Prosecutors said Hinson expected the girls to die because the room had no air supply.

However, Hinson testified during the six-day trial that the girls had consensual sex with him. He said they made up the story so they would be able to take drugs from the underground room, which he used to store marijuana.

The two young women were not in the courtroom when Hinson was acquitted. Their mothers and other relatives wept. They declined to comment after the verdict.

If convicted, Hinson had faced a mandatory life sentence without parole under the state's two-strikes law because he was convicted of raping a 12-year-old girl in 1991.

The underground room was about the length and width of a mid-sized car with a ceiling about 41/2 feet high. Hinson testified Sunday that he had built the room behind his trailer where he lived.

Defense attorney Rick Hoefer spent much of his nearly two-hour closing argument Sunday picking apart what he called inconsistencies in the teens' testimony, including how long it took them to call 911 after their alleged escape and whether they saw Hinson with a gun.

Prosecutors said any discrepancies in their stories might have been a result of the trauma the teens went through.

"We are shocked and stunned. We believed Mr. Hinson was guilty as charged. We still believe he is guilty as charged,' said Attorney General Henry McMaster, who helped prosecute the case.

Hinson remained in custody on a federal firearms charge because he allegedly had a gun when he was arrested. Convicted felons are not permitted to carry weapons.

In situations like this, there are few commentators who can sift through the legalese and call it for what it is. Here are the words of one of them, who shall remain unattributed:

It warms my heart that the good people of Darlington County saw through those lying, drug addict sluts. All you have to do is look at that guy and know he's innocent. Bitches were stealing his weed. THEY should be imprisoned.

Oh, and by the way, Mulder was right: we're not alone.

Smack, and the talk thereof

So, went down to the Phillies stadium for a charity home-run contest yesterday and, in advance of tomorrow's column about the event, here's a nugget from the Daily News' Dan Gross who doesn't appreciate solid contact hitting when he sees it. (Photo from

It was one hell of a catch, but 6ABC's David Murphy suffered a dislocated left shoulder yesterday fielding a line drive by Q102's Diego Ramos during the 10th Annual Richie Ashburn Memorial Home Runs for Heart challenge at Citizens Bank Park.
Murphy, a trouper, continued to play for 15 minutes after the injury before casually strolling off the field and driving himself to an area hospital, refusing to have an EMT called to the ballpark.

A 6ABC spokeswoman said yesterday it was not clear whether Murphy, the morning meteorologist, would be on-air today.

NBC-10 meteorologist Doug Kammerer was the only contestant to actually score a home run during the contest, which also featured Your Humble Narrator, the People Paper's Dick Jerardi, Q102's Booker, 6ABC's Jamie Apody and Comcast SportsNet's Leslie Gudel, Fox 29's Rob Guarino, 610 WIP's Paul Jolovitz and Brian Startare, City Paper's Mike Regan and Brian Hickey (whose hitting was no match for his trash-talking), CN8's Gregg Murphy, and NBC-10's John Clark, among the batters.

Home Runs for Heart benefits the American Heart Association and lets fans pony up $250 a piece for a chance to swing for the fences at Citizens Bank Park. The event is May 22 and 23; to register call 610-940-9658.

21 April 2007

A little pick-me-up

19 April 2007

Let's hear J.J. justify the NRA-GOP now.

And this guy had a visa how exactly? Check out the video if you haven't yet. Disturbing stuff. And NBC made the right call in airing it. (P.S. Enjoy the hellfire, Cho. You'll now know what it's like to be "scorched" alive.)

“I didn’t have to do this. I could have left. I could have fled. But no, I will no longer run. It’s not for me. For my children, for my brothers and sisters that you f---, I did it for them,” Cho says on one of the videos.

Also, this week's column and cocktails with.

18 April 2007


Is it just me, or is this whole finger-to-the-mouth thing enough to never, ever give money to the school? If, say, I were ever inclined to do so which, to date, I haven't been.

Shameless Self Promotion

So, the state journalism awards were announced today and, lo and behold, I won second place for news feature for the story about the AC hookers and second place in the distinguished writing category for my profile of Councilman-turned-convict Rick Mariano, a murder in Fairmount and, again, the hookers.
If only they had parades for 'lil prizes.

An oldie, but goodie

A tease for this week's column here. So with no further ado, Sen. Ted Stevens' tubes.

16 April 2007

No Nish, No Crrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiie

And here I was going to just post this simple 'lil story which makes me think of Mr. Skittles over at Body English, even though I was passed out by the time Mr. Skittles was at Body English, but that's a story for another day.

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- Minnesota Vikings cornerback Cedric Griffin was freed on $50 bail after being arrested early Sunday in downtown Minneapolis and charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Griffin, 24, was released from the Hennepin County jail at 4:45 a.m.

Two witnesses told KSTP-TV that the Vikings cornerback was thrown out of the Spin nightclub for not pulling up his pants. The club has a dress code requiring that pants not sag below the waist.

The witnesses said Griffin then had a dustup with bouncers and police before being taken away in handcuffs.

But then, when I logged on, I saw this little ditty on the home page which must come as welcomed news for Nish In Cage himself. To wit:

Now you can blog in Hindi

Our friends Anupama and Nitin have posted on the Google blog about the Hindi transliteration feature that they added to Blogger:

Enabling the transliteration option allows you to type out Hindi words using phonetically equivalent English script, and see the words getting transformed into the corresponding Devanagari script. The plus is that you now don't need to learn complicated mappings from English alphabet combinations to Hindi letters. That means you really don't need to worry about WeiRD UpPerCasEing to get the right Hindi spellings.
To get started, enable Hindi transliteration here (or by going to Settings > Basic). We have a help article explaining how it works, and a thread on the Blogger Help Group to talk about it.

12 April 2007

This week's stuff

Well, here's a link to today's column from inside a women's prison, the bottom line feature about the candidates' stances on housing and having a sit-down (sans booze) with the mayor's son.
But, all of that pales in comparison to one particular Bell Curve item because of which I suspect my phone will not stop angrily ringing today.

St. Joe's issues apology after the April Fools' edition of its student newspaper calls Cardinal Rigali "gay." "Furthermore," says university, "The Cardinal has never, as you may have heard around campus, dispensed Dirty Sanchezes on Ash Wednesday, delivered Danza Slaps on the Sabbath nor given handjobs on Palm Sunday." Minus 2

10 April 2007

Democracy Works!

How else can one explain that Milton will remain on the ballot for the May council primaries?

06 April 2007

Quick update

This week's column, and cocktails with. Ciao.
Go Cubs.

04 April 2007

A game of horseshoes

The title of this story alone sets a nice tone: The Great Tennessee Marijuana Cave. But the text? Yeah, Tut was cool and all, but was he wrapped in some dank? I think not.

What gives, no pictures?

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - It took nearly seven hours, the demolition of a bathroom and a sturdy extension ladder for rescue workers to remove a more than 700-pound woman from her home here, officials said.

Rescue workers arrived at the woman's home about 5:45 p.m. Monday in response to reports she had fallen and injured herself in her second-floor bathroom, said Trenton Fire Department Battalion Chief Qareeb Bashir.

They didn't get her out until after midnight.

The undertaking ended up involving dozens of emergency medical responders and firefighters from Trenton and neighboring Ewing.

Firefighters eventually had to dismantle the toilet and radiator, then saw out part of the bathroom wall and window to create a large enough space to move the woman out.

As the hours went by, the woman was in surprisingly good spirits, Bashir said.

"She actually had a pleasant personality. She was laughing and cracking jokes about the situation," Bashir said.

Laughing and cracking jokes? Here's one for you, toots: Lose some fucking weight so the fire department doesn't have to waste its time cutting you out of your house, mmmmkay?

But in the meantime, all of this reminds me of the fantabulous tale of one Sylvanus "Hambone" Smith who, according to Rev. Webb, outweighed Miss Obese New Jersey yet ran a pawn shop out of his home. He was such a glorious man, in fact, that Richard Simmons stopped by for a visit. On the downside, Hambone's no longer with us. Remember him in your prayers.

Remember me?

Sorry I've been so lax posting, y'all, but 1) it's an election year and 2) Vegas did take its requisite pound of mental flesh. So anyway, here's a tip as to what this week's column is about, who I had cocktails with and why this is a sad, sad, sad, sad, sad day in Philadelphia history. Let the video remind you of finer days, when the future seemed so bright we all wanted to hop atop a casket and sing the day away.

Go Cubs.

01 April 2007

Friggin' UCLA

But let's go Gators, for 24 of these shall be mine.

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