Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at www.twitter.com/brianhickey Flickr at http://www.flickr.com/people/brianhickey/. Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court: divorcecourting.blogspot.com.
26 December 2006
New Years Eve picks
NY Giants -2 At Washington OVER 42.5
At Baltimore -9 Buffalo OVER 34.5
At Chicago -3 Green Bay UNDER 36
At Cincinnati -6 Pittsburgh OVER 44.5
At Dallas -11 Detroit UNDER 45
At Houston -3.5 Cleveland OVER 37.5
At Indianapolis -7.5 Miami UNDER 43
At Kansas City -2.5 Jacksonville OVER 36.5
St. Louis -2 At Minnesota OVER 44
At NY Jets -11.5 Oakland UNDER 36
At Philadelphia -6.5 Atlanta UNDER 45
At Tampa Bay -3.5 Seattle UNDER 36.5
At Tennessee -3 New England OVER 43
At Denver -10.5 San Francisco OVER 41
At San Diego -13.5 Arizona OVER 44
Green Bay plus three over a Chicago team that has nothing to play for.
There's only one thing in the world that could help me get over a 4-12 on the spread, 5-11 on the over/under and 0-2 in the best bets: Eagles 23, Cowgirls 7.
Spread: 110-118-7 (48.25%)
O/U: 126-105-3 (54.55%)
Total: 236-223-10 (51.41%)
Spread 8-6-2 (57.14%)
O/U 12-4 (75%)
Since I'll be out of town for the rest of the week, I'll be posting next week's picks later today; not that they're worth anything. But here are some crunched numbers on picking teams; you'll notice a few you'd be well served to take my advice on, and a few that you ought to run the opposite way.
San Diego 16-12
St L 6-7-1
Merry Christmas Terrell (and Pete)
Strangest thing happened yesterday afternoon; he who posts comments on here as T.O. wasn't returning text messages between 5 and 9 p.m. (Methinks something must have been wrong with his fingers, or else he wouldn't have been dropping the phone much like a certain half-a-homo WR did all day long. I hope everything's ok.
From today's Dallas Mourning News:
Those NFC East champion hats and T-shirts can remain in the boxes. With one game left in the regular season, the Cowboys still have a chance to win the division but it is remote at best, which is why Monday's 23-7 loss to Philadelphia was so disheartening.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. (Translated: Dallas sucks as bad as Pittsburgh.)
He got up off uh that thang
Come here sister.....Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip...about that new breed thing
He ain't no drag
Papa's got a brand new bag
Come here mama....and dig this crazy scene
He's not too fancy....but his mind is might clean
He ain't no drag.
Papa's got a brand new bag
He's doing the Jerk....
He's doing the Fly
Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy
He's doing the Monkey, the Mashed Potatoes, Jump back Jack, See you later
Come here sister
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip now
but I can dig that new breed babe;
He ain't no drag
He's got a brand new bag
Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk
Papa...he's doing the Jerk
He's doing the twist ... just like this,
He's doing the Fly ev'ry day and ev'ry night
The thing's....like the Boomerang.
Hey! Hey.....come on
Hey! Hey....he's pu tight...out of sight...
Come on. Hey! Hey!
22 December 2006
Holiday Tip Sheet
So much for gimmes. Green Bay's 9-7 win last night translated into a double whammy which, coupled with Indy's win over Cincy on Monday dropped me to 0-2 and 1-1 since the math was last computed. Here are the updated, underwhelming in one regard, stats along with the picks for Sunday and Monday.
Next week's picks will be going up Tuesday as I'll be out of town next weekend.
Spread: 106-106-7 (50%)
O/U: 121-94-3 (56.28%)
Total: 227-200-10 (53.16%)
Spread 8-5-2 (61.45%)
O/U 12-3 (80%)
Kansas City -7 At Oakland OVER 36
At Buffalo -5 Tennessee UNDER 36.5
At NY Giants -3 New Orleans OVER 47
At Atlanta -6.5 Carolina UNDER 41.5
At St. Louis -2.5 Washington UNDER 43.5
Indianapolis -9 At Houston UNDER 47
At Cleveland -3 Tampa Bay OVER 36
At Pittsburgh -3 Baltimore OVER 36
Chicago -4.5 At Detroit OVER 42
At Jacksonville -2.5 New England UNDER 37
At San Francisco -4 Arizona UNDER 45
At Denver -3 Cincinnati UNDER 44.5
San Diego -5 At Seattle OVER 46.5
At Dallas -7 Philadelphia UNDER 46.5
At Miami -2.5 NY Jets UNDER 36.5
Just looks way too easy to take Baltimore with the three, so I'm a liking Pittsburgh. Even though there's nothing I hate more than Pittsburgh. As for the over/under, tough week, but I'm figuring the Mile High City's still going to be a mess come Sunday, so Broncos/Bengals will stay under.
And since you made it this far, here's an uplifting tale seeped in the, um, Christmas spirit.
21 December 2006
This Week's Column
18 December 2006
The damage, and the damage to come
As I told He Who Licks Rats earlier today, I wish the Giants best of luck finding a new coach and new running back next season. Well played, New York, well played. T-minus seven days till the Cowskirts meet their makers as well.
Anyway, the picks, as I'd warned, were a little shaky this week so far; 7-8 on the line and 6-8-1 on the O/U; hit the best bets, though.
Season stats to date (before MNF):
Spread: 106-104-7 (50.47%)
O/U: 120-93-3 (56.34%)
Total: 226-197-10 (53.43%)
Spread 8-5-2 (61.45%)
O/U 12-3 (80%)
Coming soon: I'll be breaking down my numbers on playoff teams to see whether there are any that become outright locks, if the trends mean anything.
As for tonight, tough game. I mean, is Indy just slumping, or are they kicked in da ass? Hard to say. Same goes for the over/under number at 55. Since everybody is thinking over, I'm going to hit the under. And, I'm going to take Cincy and the 3.5 points.
17 December 2006
T.O.: Homo or Hypo?
As in homosexual or hypocrite.
To the former, I steadfastly maintain that sexual confusion is the root of all his problems. And the latter, well, it's become painfully clear that Mr. Louganis-in-Pads is also a hypocrite, what with the news that he spit on an opponent last night.
First, here's an excerpt from one of his 6,249 "autobiographies" ...
One afternoon while I was in high school, I was riding home on a school bus after a track event. I made the mistake of falling asleep on the bus. It was just my luck that the biggest and meanest kid in school was on that bus, too. I was physically exhausted and passed out in a deep sleep. I was breathing through my mouth and it was open as I slept. The jerk came over and hocked up a big wad from his throat and nasal passages. He dropped that huge, disgusting gob of spit right into my mouth.I slept right through the whole thing while everybody laughed at me. I didn't find out about it until later. Can you imagine the shame, the humiliation I felt when I went home and told my family? For what seemed like an eternity, I was teased and tormented unmercifully by the kids at school. I had been a loner before that happened, and became even more isolated after.
Everyone laughed at me. I tried to block out the image of his spit entering my mouth, but I felt nauseated every time I thought about it. Knowing that he disgraced me and got the best of me was more than I could handle. From that day on, I was done being a pushover. Yesterday's loser was determined to become tomorrow's winner.
And now, his quote responding to allegations that he spat on the Falcons' DeAngelo Hall during Saturday night's win:
"I got frustrated and I apologize for that," Owens told the NFL Network. "It was a situation where he kept bugging me and getting in my face. He just kept getting in my face."
I know this is a bold statement, but this is as low as Owens has gotten. And if the league had any balls, they'd make him pay. But please, please, please Mr. New Commissioner, don't sit him out for Christmas vs. the Eagles. Screw my two front teeth (not literally, Terrell); all I want from Santa is to see Owens lose to the Eagles. Again. Just like he always has, and always will.
16 December 2006
"We Got Money on This"
Mr. T, or not Mr. T?
15 December 2006
This week's picks
Well, the CP Christmas party last night has rendered me essentially useless, so proceed with these picks with the utmost caution.
Dallas -3.5 At Atlanta OVER 43
At Minnesota -3 NY Jets UNDER 41
At Baltimore -11 Cleveland UNDER 33.5
At New England -11 Houston OVER 37.5
At Buffalo -1 Miami OVER 34
Pittsburgh -3 At Carolina OVER 39
At New Orleans -9.5 Washington OVER 45
Jacksonville -3.5 At Tennessee UNDER 41
At Chicago -13.5 Tampa Bay OVER 33.5
At NY Giants -5.5 Philadelphia UNDER 43.5
At Green Bay -5 Detroit OVER 43.5
Denver -2.5 At Arizona UNDER 41.5
At San Diego -8.5 Kansas City OVER 46.5
At Oakland -2.5 St. Louis OVER 38.5
St. Louis getting 2.5
NE/Houston over 37.5
14 December 2006
This week's story, and the Thursday pick
Well, here's why I couldn't post all that much last week; was busy down in the old A.C. stomping grounds writing a piece about the still-unknown hooker serial killer; and, about the Irish Pub which, I concur, is no dive bar. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
Speaking of serial killers, early next year, we're going to start hearing more about one of the absolute sickest ones ever. Seems some guy who owns a pig farm up in Canada, from which he sells sausage, has taken to killing a bunch of hookers up that way too. (Not to mention the dude over in England right now as well.) But here's the nastiest part: The courts won't allow reporters to share details until the case starts, on Jan. 6, I think, but apparently, they're already seeking counselling from what they heard. This probably has to do with the fact that police have warned people who bought sausage from pig-farm guy that their savory breakfast meat might have had a little hooker in it.
Now, onto something uplifting: Gambling. Because it's only 94 days till Vegas, y'all.
So tonight, the Niners go to Seattle, where the Seahawks, who got embarrassed last week, can clinch the division. Which they will? But will they cover the 9.5? Yes. And the game will stay under 40.5 in the process.
11 December 2006
Brees-ie Does Dallas
"That was a pretty good licking. I can't think of anything we did very well."
Yes, boys and girls, those are the words of one Bill Parcells, coach of the Cowboys, a team that had been considered destined never to lose again -- until they got their doors blown off on national TV Sunday night.
Romo had the worst game of his budding career: 16-of-33 for 249 yards, with two interceptions and a fluke touchdown to Terrell Owens on what would have been another pickoff if cornerback Fred Thomas wasn't wearing a cast.
Happy to see he's rehearsing, though. 'Cause once the Birds get through the Giants next week (fingers crossing here), Christmas Day will be the day the Eagles take the NFC East lead right out from under T.O.'s nose as if someone cut in front of him in the gloryhole line when he turned his head for a second.
Now, while it couldn't be construed as a licking, a 9-6 tally on the spread, and 8-7 on the over/under qualifies as a victory similar to the Eagles hold-on-for-dear-life besting of the Skins. But, like the Birds, I'll take it. Here are the season stats updated through the game which exposed the Cowgirls for the frauds they are:
Spread: 99-96-7 (50.77%)
O/U: 114-85-2 (57.29%)
Total: 213-181-9 (55.59%)
Spread 7-5-2 (53.33%)
O/U 11-3 (78.57%)
As for tonight's game, I'm torn: Does the upset train continue, making the NFC more of a mess than it already is, or does Chicago seize a big opening and pretty much seal up home field throughout the playoffs with a win over a St. Louis team still not entirely out of the mix?
I know this much: I like the game staying under 41. As for the spread, what the might-as-well-be-a-coin-flip hell, Chicago minus 6.5.
09 December 2006
Adios, Allen Iverson
Can't tell a lie: Watching the A.I. break-up start last night was utterly fascinating. Not to mention depressing. I've long been a fan of people who bust their asses and do their jobs regardless of what other people think, and say, about them. That said, I can see that Philly and Allen is a relationship that can't be mended. (Did Ed Snider, who never, ever goes to Sixers games, have to seem so happy in exclaiming that he'd be moving Iverson though?)
But, before he gets shipped off to Denver or Boston or Indianapolis, it's worth noting that this city - for all of Allen's faults, and being a no-tip-leaving prick at TGIFriday's from City Line Avenue to the Parkway is among them - owes him a debt of gratitude.
Maybe prak-tiss wasn't high on his list of priorities, but nobody can question his heart once the whistle rang on the game. At least he'll now have a chance to win a championship, which is something the 76ers won't be doing anytime soon. (Having written a couple of stories on A.I. during his tenure here, I have to say that, personally, I found him to be a stand-up guy willing to answer questions one-on-one; can you blame him for thinking he was regularly ambushed by people who didn't get what he was about though?)
All of this is to say, thanks Allen. You did Philly proud and you'll be missed.
08 December 2006
Ok, so I was 0-for- Monday and Thursday. Sucks. But, then I took a peek at Sunday's list and hotdamn there look like some gimmes this week. (Hence, a likely 0-for-Sunday). With no further ado:
At Kansas City -3 Baltimore OVER 36
Atlanta -3 At Tampa Bay UNDER 37.5
At Detroit -2 Minnesota UNDER 39
At Houston -1 Tennessee OVER 42
At Carolina -1.5 NY Giants OVER 39.5
Indianapolis -1 At Jacksonville UNDER 43.5
Philadelphia -1 At Washington UNDER 40.5
At Cincinnati -10.5 Oakland OVER 39
New England -3.5 At Miami UNDER 37
At San Francisco -5 Green Bay UNDER 44.5
Seattle -3.5 At Arizona UNDER 45.5
At San Diego -7.5 Denver OVER 41.5
At NY Jets -4 Buffalo OVER 37
At Dallas -7 New Orleans OVER 48
BEST BETS: Indy -1 and Carolina/Giants over.
06 December 2006
Thursday night's game
So, before the season started, my mouth, as it often does, got to running about how bad the Steelers are going to be this year. Never one to back down from an illogical challenge, the Steelers fan with whom I was speaking jumped at the opportunity to put some coin down against the Burgh losing nine games, as I boldly predicted they would.
Well, they're sitting at 5-7 now and all I need is for them to go .500 the rest of the way to collect.
Easy, right? Well, not if they have pattycake games like Tampa last week and, as logic would dictate, the Browns tomorrow night. Yeah, the same team that blasted my Best Bet to bits last week by beating K.C. on a week that they should've been looking ahead to knocking off the defending champs turned chumps. All of which is to say good God Cleveland needs to win this game. Unfortunately, I think they'll only cover. Which, as we all know, is a victory in and of itself.
At Pittsburgh -7.5 Cleveland OVER 36.5
05 December 2006
Click, click, click, click
The best Taser video ever!
04 December 2006
'least K Fed wears britches
Britney, oh Britney.
And speaking of implosions, seems as if the Inquirer decided to seal its lumbering fate of mediocrity by making sure its young talent is the first out the door. Way to go, squad!
Well, enough about that; onto the games. Picking over unders better than ever (11-3), but thanks to Cutler deciding it's a good idea to throw the ball up for grabs and let the D score on an interception, the spreads were under .500 for the week (6-8); in fact, it was so bad that KC couldn't even pull through as a best bet. Which is fine because, by the end of the day, I'll have a lock of a pick for tonight's Birds' "game"
Season Tally pre-MNF:
Spread: 90-89-7 (50.28%)
O/U: 106-77-2 (57.92%)
Total: 196-166-9 (54.14%)
Spread 7-4-2 (63.64%)
O/U 10-3 (76.92%)
02 December 2006
This week's picks
At Chicago -9.5 Minnesota OVER 35
At Pittsburgh -7 Tampa Bay UNDER 41
At St. Louis -6.5 Arizona OVER 46
Indianapolis -7.5 At Tennessee OVER 47
At Miami -1 Jacksonville UNDER 36
At New Orleans -7 San Francisco UNDER 45.5
At Washington -1.5 Atlanta OVER 38.5
Kansas City -5 At Cleveland UNDER 35.5
At New England -13.5 Detroit OVER 41.5
San Diego -6 At Buffalo OVER 42.5
NY Jets -1 At Green Bay OVER 42
Dallas -3.5 At NY Giants UNDER 43.5
At Oakland -3 Houston OVER 35.5
At Denver -3.5 Seattle OVER 40.5
Looks like a favorites week 'round the NFL (and sorry I missed the Thursday night game; was out of town). So anyway, New England, Dallas, Indy and St. Louis all look like pretty safe picks, but Kansas City is the spread pick of the week. Due for a letdown? Maybe, but even that's not enough for Cleveland to get within six points.
As for the over/under, I'm feeling Miami/Jacksonville saying under.