Philly Blunt

Freelance writer. Editor and web-video producer. Former Atlantic City Press and Philadelphia Weekly staff writer, City Paper managing editor/columnist and Dougherty for Senate campaign manager. Comments welcome here or emailed to brianhickey9 [at] hotmail. Now on: Facebook (Brian Hickey, in Philly) Twitter at www.twitter.com/brianhickey Flickr at http://www.flickr.com/people/brianhickey/. Be sure to check out Hickey on Divorce Court: divorcecourting.blogspot.com.

08 September 2006

Hickey the Greek


(Or, football fun for people who still have enough self-respect not to spend hours wondering whether to start Peerless Price or Ashley Lelie this week.)

UPDATED WITH REST OF SUNDAY SCHEDUL
E

Blah, blah, blah. I can live with an opening night split, especially knowing in my heart of hearts that if Culpepper doesn't throw that late interception, Miami would've taken the game. (And that, as LBR pointed out the other day, Pittsburgh would probably outpoint Baltimore in the syphilis competition if the Women of Steel City didn't so resemble the Men of Earth that STDs are nonexistent). But such is NFL football.
So anyway, here are Sunday picks:

Never thought I'd hear myself say this but I like the Rams getting 3.5 at home over the mighty, Super Bowl bound Denver Broncos. And, over 46.

For some inexplicable reason, I also really dig the Jets (+3) over Tennessee, but this won't be a high scoring Scrub Bowl, so under 36 is the way to go.

KINDA PICK OF THE WEEK ALERT: This isn't my favorite of all, but the Birds sure seem like free money this week, don't they? Christ, Houston doesn't even have a running back. And if David Carr thinks the last few seasons were painful, wait till he gets a load of the Eagles new D. They'll cover the 4.5 by the end of the first quarter and never look back. Still, it'll be under 37. A 24-9 type game.

Everything in my mind keeps saying, "Carolina and the over. Carolina and the over." But rivalry games are never, ever gimmes, especially in an unpredicable week one. So, Carolina (with an aching Steve Smith and a never-can-tell Jake Delhomme) and the over becomes a trap. As much as I think Michael Vick is Ran-dall reincarnate, Atlanta might not win the game, but they'll come within five in a low-scoring 14-10 type event (read: under).

Dallas getting 2.5 at Jacksonville? Take it. Take it. Take it. And 36.5 is too low.

I'm having a lot of trouble buying into this rejuvenated Arizona Cardinals thang, but San Francisco is bad. Like, knife-fighting in a subway wearing a black pleather jacket Bad. But seven and a half is a lot of points in the NFL. And seven and a half is a lot MORE points when the most inept franchise in the sport is laying them. Don't let it stop you. Arizona steamrolls the Niners, so much so that I like the under 42 points because a) San Fran will barely score and b) Kurt Warner doesn't have six TDs left in his God-fearing arm. 34-3 final.

I want to take Chicago so friggin bad here, so much so that I'll probably rue the day I typed this, but here goes nothing: It's probably Favre's last opener and, as much as he's washed up and over-rated, I gots me a feelin' he'll keep the Pack within 3.5 and that, to do so, the game'll go over 35.

You'd have to figure New England wants to send a message - we're back, bitches - to the league. But nine's a lot of points to give up in a rivalry game, no? Well, in this case, no is right, barely. This is a 10-point game, with the Pat's ending up on the right side of things. Now, will they get to 41 points. I don't think so; under.

I'm not sold on Chris Simms having a breakthrough season yet. And I'm not sold on Ray Lewis being overrated and washed up. Dude's still bad-ass. LOCK ALERT!!!! Though I'm torn on Tampa giving three at home (Go with them), I can't see anyway in hell this game goes over 24, let alone 34. And just like that, the over/under lock of the week is exposed.

But that leaves us with a spread pick of the week. And believe me, in the first week, there's no such thing as an easy one, but Reggie Bush and New Orleans aren't even going to need the three points that Cleveland, effin Cleveland is laying. (Game'll go over 36, too).

And finally, little bro's gonna take care of Horsehead Manning in New York, at least covering the 3.5 and helping the game go over 48.

Godspeed, degenerates.

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