Dear Philadelphia Health Department
I know today's the beginning of Philly's smoke ban and all.
And I think it's great that you hired two extra people to patrol the city for defiant puffers.
After all, it's not like we're the fourth biggest city in the country with a bar on every corner or anything. (Love the foresight, Mayor Street.)
Since I figure you'll be awfully taxed trying to spread the word on such short notice, what with you being a dirtbag who likes to sneak things through when you think nobody's looking, allow me to give you a tip: I'll be smoking where I want, when I want, today. Feel free to send your guys for me ... I work in Old City and wear a Cubs hat.